I haven't slept all night, How can he do this?

'oh don't wear slippers to the cinema'

Tom and I met and started dating in 2008 in the UK during his erasmus year, after 5months he moved back to France. He broke up with me then, because he was worried about the relationship not surviving a LDR. After 6 weeks he came back to me, asked to get back together and we talked about it and ended up getting back together. I remember meeting him and we had both lost so much weight, i knew the break up took a lot out of us.

Fastforward more than 1yr later, we start arguing about silly things like 'oh don't wear slippers to the cinema', 'oh don't tell me that i don't know how to bowl properly', silly arguments. In August 2009 I got scared that we will continue arguing throughout my final year at uni and freaked out and broke up with him. I went through a horrible time, had my biggest ever breakdown. However, we kept in touch, talked all the time, we both entered into relationships, although mine ended after 5months, I entered another one which was even shorter, but he stayed with the same person. We spoke a lot about the past, how we missed each other, etc. This evolved into 'let's get back together convos', "I still love you, I miss you, I miss us". I snapped finally and told him I couldn't discuss getting back together if he was still with his gf, he broke up with her. I was still a bit sceptical, I was honest with him, told him that the last break up was so bad for me, I could felt like I almost lost my mind, I am scared of getting back together just to break up again. Anyway we got back together in November, one year after we broke up. I went to visit him for the day, have a trip booked to go again this friday, and he has one booked to come here in January.

But today a conversation about how I missed talking to him a lot this weekend, evolved into him saying "i want space sometimes, i don't want to spend the whole weekend online", I said I agreed with that but he kept on wanting to force an argument, and said that we are having problems, look at us now and i said, this is not an argument, this is a discussion, arguments involve anger, name calling, etc we are just talking about communication. He then mentions that he is going to apply for a visa to move to Canada next year for a year. says that our problems will only get worse in canada, that everything will be harder, that he is not sure if he can give as much as I can for a LDR from canada to uk. He says that he thinks i love him more than he loves me, but he kept on insisting that he loves me, and he doesnt want to hurt me. That it is better we break up now than 1 yr from now, that he doesnt want to hurt me.

(the conversation was a lot longer than this, but it is better just to summise the main points i think)

I said you were the one who convinced me to get back together, and he said he was sorry. I said that i promised this time i will make more of an effort, that I don't think we have as much problems as most couples, we love each other, trust each other, etc. We are already in a LDR, every relationship has problems, and that I am not willing to let him say that he loves me then allow him to expect me to give up on our relationship, because he doesn't think we would survive a deeper LDR. That even if I have to find someone with a Canda - UK LDR to speak to him about it then i will do. We agreed to sleep on thiings and discuss more later.

I just don't know what to do! How can he do this to me again, I am so scared that he wants to break up. I know that I have been so demanding lately, I am just bored from being at home all the time, I understand how this can put pressure on him and I said to him that I am sorry about that. But I honestly don't think we have any real problems, we are both honest and as a result I discuss my feelings with him and ask him for his. I know that he is just worried about LDRs like when we first started dating and is looking for an excuse to end things, or is it just me looking for an excuse not to end things? Am I in the wrong, should I just let him go? Is this an impossible situation to work out?

please help me!

(Thank you for reading!!! Didnt realise it was this long)

Thank you so much for your advice everyone, I spoke to him this evening and things ended very badly (hardly surprising) I told him that he has had his last ever chance and is not to contact me ever again. Since then I have deleted almost everything that had us connected (in the process of doing the rest now), feels so sad but it is better than crying.

If anyone finds my Mr Right, please direct him to me


Thanks again for all the advice
x

Thank you so much for your advice everyone, I spoke to him this evening and things ended very badly (hardly surprising) I told him that he has had his last ever chance and is not to contact me ever again. Since then I have deleted almost everything that had us connected (in the process of doing the rest now), feels so sad but it is better than crying.

If anyone finds my Mr Right, please direct him to me


Thanks again for all the advice
x

Thank you so much for your advice everyone, I spoke to him this evening and things ended very badly (hardly surprising) I told him that he has had his last ever chance and is not to contact me ever again. Since then I have deleted almost everything that had us connected (in the process of doing the rest now), feels so sad but it is better than crying.

If anyone finds my Mr Right, please direct him to me


Thanks again for all the advice
x