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i hate university - I'm so socially awkward

I'm soo boring. No one likes me. I feel so alone.
It's like i don't know how to interact with people, i freeze, can't be myself. I hung around with my room mates for the first while, and i went out with them clubbing, but i'm not really a clubbing person. I'm insecure about how i look and don't have the proper going out clothes. I'm too embarrassed for people to know this so make excuses. They have stopped inviting me out as much, and when they do it's out of pity or politeness, and i would feel awkward tagging along. Girls bond so easily with each other, and i can't do that. I've never been very touchy feely (maybe when i was younger before i grew so intensly shy) and although i am friendly, polite and nice to people, the distance helps them not to get to know me. they will eventually figure out how boring i am, and that i dont have many friends, and how weird i am. i did have a girl i kindof knew from my hometown, but then she found another friend, and even said "we are too dependent on each other, we need some time apart." and now she spends every available time with her new friend. and only texts to meet up when her friend is too busy for her.
People off my course already have their cliques. they all sit together, and although i have swapped names with a few and had light conversation, the conversation wears out, and i realise i have nothing else to say, and they realise how boring i actually am. they have come to this university with their friends from school. no one from my school came here. i walk everywhere on my own. i have hour breaks inbetween a busy lecture schedule on mondays... i havent a clue what to do with myself, so walk around random places trying to look busy, or hide in the toilet, while everyone else can go get food or have a coffee with their friends. i spent a whole day once without talking to a single person... except to say thanks at the shop, and hello to my roomates (who i often sit in with to watch tv to try and make some sort of an effort). It was almost painful, being this quiet, being this lonely, only thinking about stuff. I almost wonder if university is worth it sometimes. sure it's to get an education, but i feel like i'm wasting my years being unhappy with no motivation to work. plus the degree is english. i really could be wasting my years perhaps. i go home every weekend (like most do here) and dread going back. help

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Reply 1

llys

Is it different at home & if yes, why?

Reply 2

Wings99

What uni are you at?

believe me you arent alone, im exactly the same. it gets really lonely sometimes. I do the same with my hour breaks inbetween leactures, i sit by myself and just listen to my ipod or something. I'm not anti-social on purpose and try to interact with my room mates but we havent much in common. I do history so i know what you mean when you worry that your degree and how it will help you get a job.
i cant really give you advice cos im not any better but i hope you know you arent the only one who feels like this. lets just hope things get better.
if you ever want to chat pm me :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by llys

Is it different at home & if yes, why?

Kindof. i have always been very shy. But i have a close group of friends who are just as shy really. But even they are busy with their lives, making all sorts of new friends. I know it's my fault. I just struggle to be as social as others.

Reply 4

Skaterkid

Try to make an effort rather than it naturally coming to you

Reply 5

llys

How many people are on your course?

Stick with the watching TV and take up cooking in the common kitchen. It keeps your hands busy and provides excuses not to make conversation if you can't think of anything to say, but it keeps you at the core of a very social place and people used to your face.

People probably don't care if you don't talk so much and are probably quite accepting AS LONG AS they think you're just shy/a little boring/possibly eccentric but (importantly) not arrogant or conceited or purposely excluding yourself. Also, communication is not always verbal. For example, I would suggest you take to baking, then you have something to share with others over the TV watching. And it's a nice hobby. |)

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 6

I Have No Imagination

Why don't you join some societies to try and get to know more people with your interests??

Reply 7

Scubar

To alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems

Reply 8

ArcadiaHouse

I feel the same as you sometimes OP. I'm sure there are other people in your position. But keep going out, have a few drinks, you don't need to get wasted but you'll feel less anxious!

I've been ill and busy writing essays in my room for weeks, my flatmates must think I'm dead. :colonhash:

Btw it sounds like your friend's new 'friend' is more than a 'friend' to her. If you know what I mean.

Actually ... You sound exactly like me ... :eek:

Reply 9

KingofSpades

what uni are you at dammmmmmmmmmmmit

Reply 10

Arekkusu

All you can do is stop thinking you're boring as that triggers off a panic cycle.

Reply 11

*Lollo*

How do you know they invite you out from politeness? Honestly, I think people are so self-centered in that age, they wouldn't bother inviting along someone they didn't like. I've gone out with girls I'm not super-fond of, but mostly because I don't know them. I don't go out with people I have no interest in getting to know.