The Student Room Group

Mum won't go for cancer scans/screening! >:(

My mother is anti-doctors and hasn't been to a doctor since she gave birth to me. :tongue: I know she had a few bad experiences with a doctor when she was younger but I'm not sure whether this has anything to do with it.

She is in her early 50s and now is the time she should be going for breast scans and cervical smears, yet she is refusing to go! She comes up with all sorts of excuses:

'I can't take the time off work', '
Breast scans probably cause more harm than good',
'I check my breasts regularly so I don't need a scan.'

In the past month she has been complaining of pain in her left breast - yet STILL refuses to go. I am sick with worry and have tried all methods under the sun of convincing her to go for these tests (even suggesting us going for our smear tests together and making a weird mother-daughter a day-out of it :redface:)

I have even considered paying for a private scan and giving it to her for Christmas. But I decided that would be a bit tasteless.

Any ideas?
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 1
talk to a docotr about it and say youre concerned. just have a heart to heart with your mum and day youre worried and you care,
Reply 2
Sorry, I'm not all that good at figuring out things like this, hopefully some other members of TSR will be more helpful :colondollar:

Though just for reassurance:

Breast tumours, cancer and lumps are a very uncommon cause of breast pain.


http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Breast-Pain.htm
Original post by Ninat
Any ideas?


Tell her that she's being like Jade Goody, except that hello magazine won't give her millions of pounds if she gets terminal cancer through not going for checks.

My dad was a bit like this recently, we staged a sort of intervention and made him go. Turned out he didn't have cancer, but did have another fairly serious condition that would have become life-threatening had he not gone to the doctor about it.
Reply 4
Trick her into going, blindfold her and say your taking her to a spa, then drive to the hospital, march her in there so she has no choice :smile:
That is her choice, to not go. You mean well, but it is not your place to try and pressure her to get scanned/screened - if she doesn't want it, she is within her rights to refuse it as long as she knows what she's refusing.

Going on at her about isn't going to make her go; she'll probably feel less inclined to get it checked if she feels pressured to. Leaving articles around or buying it for her Christmas present (WTF? :lolwut:) isn't going to help, it's just going to make you into some mild form of bully.
Reply 6
My dad had a lump on the side of his abdomen. I told him to get it checked, he didn't. Then about 6 months later it started bleeding, so he went. Turns out it was stage 3 melanoma (skin cancer). Now he's gad countless operations, countless tests, etc, with an uncertain amount of time left (Internet statistics are not good). The thing with melanoma is if you catch it in stage 1 or 2 there's an almost 100% rate of recovery. If it gets to stage 3 you've got a slim chance of living for another year, then really slim chance of living 2 years, etc.

Tell your mum there's nothing to worry about in getting the test and tell her it would mean a lot to you and that knowing is better than not knowing. Try and get other family members (if possible) to talk to her as well.
Don't buy her a scan for Christmas, that would be a waste of money.

Make her a picture book with images of hideously cancerous breasts and vaginas, women with double mastectomies and their scars, balding, ill looking women on chemo, etc.
Original post by Revd. Mike
Don't buy her a scan for Christmas, that would be a waste of money.

Make her a picture book with images of hideously cancerous breasts and vaginas, women with double mastectomies and their scars, balding, ill looking women on chemo, etc.


I can't tell if this is a joke or not...

That's hardly going to encourage her to get screened for cancer, is it?
Original post by TheSownRose

Original post by TheSownRose
I can't tell if this is a joke or not...

That's hardly going to encourage her to get screened for cancer, is it?


Well I wasn't entirely serious about making a picture book, but certainly helping her mother face the reality of what could happen to her if she doesn't get screened is important. If she gets screened regularly, and they find an abnormality, they can deal with it immediately and then none of those horrific things will happen to her.

If she doesn't get screened, and there is something wrong, then she won't find out before it's far too late.

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