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I will almost certinally die by suicide at some point in my life...

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As others have said, you need professional help before things get even worse.

For what it's worth, follow your passion. You seem pretty interested in gliding or flying of some sort. It makes you happy, so why not a job in it?

Reply 21

cakekiscool

Original post by mathperson

As title says, I know I will.

My general feeling is that it will be sooner (not next week, but I mean not in 50 years time) rather than later. However I just feel that, at some point, something will happen that will give me that final push.

I don't know why I started this thread, I suspect that it is early in the morning and I tend to feel worse in these hours, and that I needed to write it down.

I have lost all enthusiasm for my University course, havn't (really) fully gotten over the previous depressive episode I went through, though I'm nowhere near as bad at this point, and I'm just generally unhappy, for reasons I can't explain.

I'm not saying I'm on the edge now, though I am clearly unhappy, just....as the title says.

PS: I didn't post anon because I have tried to a while ago and the mods won't allow me to post this anon.

Reply 22

CherryCherryBoomBoom

OP, that's not a nice way to think :frown:

. Remember that time when I was feeling really down, and you gave me lots of good helpful advice on all sorts of things :smile:

? Just remember what a good person you are. I don't know you personally, but I'm sure that there are many good people in your life who would really miss you if you did kill yourself. 1 out of 4 people suffer from a mental illness, so you're certainly not alone. You just need to find ways to overcome it, and get on with your life to make it better. Sorry if that advice is a bit too general, I'm not too good at this. But honestly, speak to someone, you're worth it.

BTW, I've seen the mods close a lot of suicide threads lately, so don't be surprised if it happens to this one too.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 23

mathperson

Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom

OP, that's not a nice way to think :frown:

. Remember that time when I was feeling really down, and you gave me lots of good helpful advice on all sorts of things :smile:

Thankyou for your support. I know it isn't a nice way to think (or feel), but I think that it is just a reflection of how I feel about the present and the future at the moment.

Yeah I do remember giving you advice, and I hope it is still helping?

(I know you don't know me personally, but I'm sure I added you to facebook?)

Reply 24

CherryCherryBoomBoom

Original post by mathperson

Oh yeah, I've got you on Facebook :yep:

. And your messages did help me see things in a different way, thank you :smile:

Reply 25

Arekkusu

Try to format your hard disk, because your depression is colouring the world around you blacker and blacker and propagating itself, as I'm sure you know.

Some people might need a few days to think, some people might need a change of scene or friends... when I'm depressed, I change my routine; even my walk to lectures can become a newly stimulating thing when going a different way or with other people or a bit earlier.

Reply 26

n89123

what is wrong with you people why do you feel the need to comment if it is going to be negative, this person needs our support and advice if you havent got anything constructive to say get off this thread!!!

Back to the thread, keep your head up and take every day as it comes, i know other people who have felt this way you need to find something in your life you love something to live for, i.e a partner, hobby, career etc. Don't give up there is light at the end of the tunnel you just need to find it! :smile:

Reply 27

Anonymous #2

I managed to complete my degree through a breakdown. I lay in bed for days on end not attending lectures or feeling up to any work.

This might sound insignificant, but I wish I had got a job at university. At the time it seemed like a blah idea, but now I see it would have empowered me no end. The combination of paid work and living on your own can do wonders for your self esteem. I've now finished university, got my own pad and start a job next week. It feels like I've grown up and I'm moving throught that developmental angst

Reply 28

Sabertooth

Same here MP.

I'm not living like this forever, I'll kill myself before I let them take me. :h:

Reply 29

daytona01

joy to the world, maths is dead.

We differentiated his head :biggrin:

Reply 30

Inzamam99

Original post by mathperson

Have you tried the standard going out and meeting people through joining clubs etc.?- I mean even the Maths society at most universities have various activities and socials which you can immerse yourself in.

From the nature of your other posts on TSR, I also get the feeling that you need to get to the root of your problem instead of looking for scapegoats.

Reply 31

mathperson

Original post by Inzamam99

I agree,

Yes, it isn't having friends that is the problem, because my 'social situation' is rather pleasing to me, not perfect, but pleasing.

Thankyou for the reply.

Reply 32

Inzamam99

Original post by mathperson

I agree,

Yes, it isn't having friends that is the problem, because my 'social situation' is rather pleasing to me, not perfect, but pleasing.

Thankyou for the reply.

No problem :smile:

, what's the reason then?

(I'am being nice now but once we get on to a Muslim thread :hmmm:

)

Reply 33

mathperson

Original post by Inzamam99

No problem :smile:

, what's the reason then?

(I'am being nice now but once we get on to a Muslim thread :hmmm:

)

lol, EDIT, I've shown my point and won't create anymore.

anyway to be honest I am still a little bitter towards my University for not putting any support in place for last year, and so when I had depression last year I had to leave eventually.

This year it has not been a smooth transition back, which was expected, however I just cannot seem to get back the love for my course I once had, and as such don't have the enthusiasm or the 'get up and go' for it anymore.

A few family problems which I don't really want to go into, but certinally contribute to the way I am feeling.

Also, just a general feeling of feeling depressed, I can't explain it.