really really awkward position...

basically, saw a message on my dad's facebook which revealed that he's been having an affair and that the woman he's been seeing is moving closer to us 'to be with him' but he's looking 'to take things slow.' i didnt know what to do so rang my sister who told me it'd been ahppening since march but he told her he'd end it!? :confused:

and he's still doing it..
and my sisters had depression over the last few months whilst trying to hide this from my mum...
yeah she doesn't know..
I don't know what the hell to do..
I feel guilty for not telling my mum, I know it's not my problem but I feel guilty for knowing something so serious and keeping it from her, and I feel guilty for making my Dad so upset, because he didn't want me to know? :frown:

Anyone help, please? :frown:

KEEP ANON PLEASE.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

greeneyedgirl

Confront your dad.

Give him the option of either him telling your mum, or you telling you mum.

Confront your dad?

Tell your dad to man up and admit what he's doing and stop lying to your mother (I'm assuming they're still together). It's not up to you to tell you mum at all and I'd highly advise against it.

Reply 4

jolteon

this is not your war, master meriadoc.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I'm definitely not going to tell my Mum, but it just angers me that he said to my sister it's all over and yet it's still going on...
And he knows I know..
I know it's not m war but I still feel pretty damn ****ed up and betrayed :frown:

Reply 6

greeneyedgirl

Even if he knows you know, have you actually talked to him about it?

You need to talk to him, explain how you feel, what a difficult situation he's put you and your sister in, how you can't lie to your mum etc. etc.

If he has any decency he'll sort it out.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

I'm a girl to start with, and I couldn't tell my Mother, firstly it'd anger ALL of my family and secondly, my Mum would just have a fit :frown:

I know how she'd react sadly!

Reply 8

ibelongtoslytherin

Original post by greeneyedgirl

Confront your dad.

Give him the option of either him telling your mum, or you telling you mum.

This

Black mail him.

Sounds like a soap drama.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by F i s

Sounds like a soap drama.

your opinion is not wanted, if you don't have anything nice to say, then please, just leave it.

Reply 12

F i s

Original post by Anonymous

your opinion is not wanted, if you don't have anything nice to say, then please, just leave it.

Look TSR is not a social services website, it's for intellectual discussions :wink:

.
If you really want help, talk to childline, samaritans or citizens advice.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by F i s

Look TSR is not a social services website, it's for intellectual discussions :wink:

.
If you really want help, talk to childline, samaritans or citizens advice.

It's also an advice forum... hence the 'Health and relationships' please get off my thread if you have no advice for my situation. My family aren't a Jeremy Kyle family, we're middle class and both my brother and sister have been to university. Don't make out like you know who we are and our background, as you do not. Thanks.

Reply 14

amsie/

Original post by F i s

Look TSR is not a social services website, it's for intellectual discussions :wink:

.
If you really want help, talk to childline, samaritans or citizens advice.

ha ha, yeah right. umm, i say you tell your dad to tell your mum or you'll do it. :frown:

but yeah, try not to get too involved :s-smilie:

or it could get messy

Reply 15

Oasis Jnr

well you may feel that you may upset your mother but at the end of the day, your dad is not faithful to his beloved wife and you should give him the option of either:

1) you tell your mum
2) he tells her and make sure you overhear it in case :tongue:

in a way, your dad is taking advantage of your guilt, he thinks you wont tell your mum and so he will happily continue his affair
or perhaps get contact of this new lover, and tell her politely to back off

Reply 16

F i s

Original post by Anonymous

I gave you advice! I didn't make out that I knew who you were clearly you must have some deranged persona disorder. I'm glad you're middle-class so you should be alright then.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

just found out apparently my sister googled his 'business email' and he's been using marital affair websites!? :frown:

Reply 18

miscellaneous123

what a sad situation :frown:

. If I were you I'd call up the woman who your dad's having an affair with and tell her to Pi33 off. Perhaps you should call childline because i don't think I'm old enough to give very good advice. The people there will probably know much more...

Reply 19

James Gregory

There might not be a right or wrong answer, only different options with their own advantages as drawbacks. I doubt even professional services like Childline would offer direct advice, because there is no option which has a guaranteed happy ending, and if they told you to do something and it turned out badly you might blame them.

Most likely what such services would do would be to try to make you talk through your thoughts and feelings as much as possible, asking you in detail about how you feel about everything, to lead you to making your own decision. So, whether you choose to get advice from friends, family, a phoneline, or even TSR (!), you need to consider all the pros and cons of each choice of action, consider in detail your own situation, the situation of your mum and of your dad, your own personal situation, what do you think would happen if you chose option x, y or z, etc etc.