Could you differentiate between love and just sex?

I have a bit of a problem. A very close friend of mine lives 600 km away from me. We are in contact for 6 years now. I think that I have been beginning to fall in love with this person. Although he is not attractive for me we get along very well and I like his ways. I think I admire his personality. I have kept inviting him for a few months. He just denied. Then he came up with a special offer. He wants to have sex between friends. He would be fine with that. But I think that this is a big problem for me. I think I want something more than sex. He does not want to have a relationship over such a long distance. I understand his point but what should I do????

should I invite him for sex and having some fun but feeling more than that???? I want him but not only for sex. I can´t really differentiate love and purse sex. I used to have sex with a person I am in love with. He does not understand my point.

what to do now? could you give me some advice please? would help a lot.

Reply 1

aws

sex is an extension of love for you

just say that to him

Reply 2

damidude

If you don't wanna have sex,
don't have sex.....

Reply 3

Cynthi007

Original post by damidude

If you don't wanna have sex,
don't have sex.....

but I do want to have sex. but not with the same intention. It would be ok to have sex with him because we both want it. but I want something more, which he does not want to give.

Reply 4

aws

Original post by Cynthi007

but I do want to have sex. but not with the same intention. It would be ok to have sex with him because we both want it. but I want something more, which he does not want to give.

answered your own q.

refer to my post, you don't seem the type 2 have no strings sex

Reply 5

damidude

Original post by Cynthi007

but I do want to have sex. but not with the same intention. It would be ok to have sex with him because we both want it. but I want something more, which he does not want to give.

In which case, follow the advice of the 1st comment.

Reply 6

Cynthi007

Original post by aws

answered your own q.

refer to my post, you don't seem the type 2 have no strings sex

I don´t get the point. sorry. :colondollar:

what do you mean by having no strings sex??? you mean sex attached with conditions? Could you paraphrase it, please?

I fear it a frustrating point to give sex and hoping for more. I never had sex with a "friend". what is afterwards? everything has changed, hasn´t it?

Reply 7

*Lollo*

You have answered your own question.
You're already in love with him. You can't differentiate between love and sex. He can, and he only wants your body. You are not cut out for being f-buddies and he doesn't want to go out with you.
It's rule number 1 for casual sex: don't participate in it when you're in love with someone, but its all they're offering you.

Reply 8

aws

Original post by Cynthi007

I don´t get the point. sorry. :colondollar:

welll..

basically, you personally can't separate sex from love

therefore it'd be a very bad idea for you to engage in such behaviour

no strings means no complications/other feelings. in your case you want something more than sex.

so I would avoid it

Reply 9

Cynthi007

@aws: thanks for explaining. stupid Germans, you know? :smile:

Reply 10

wanderlust.xx

Admittedly, this is what I first thought when I read your thread title.

Spoiler

Reply 11

aws

Original post by Cynthi007

@aws: thanks for explaining. stupid Germans, you know? :smile:

it is your second language. I mean all I know is schnell schnell gutten tag mein herr and not much else lol

and learning all the little sayings that you only get from absorbing yourself in british culture

Reply 12

Blueflare

Sex is likely to make you feel even more strongly about him, it would be very emotionally damaging for you to do this.

Reply 13

Cynthi007

thanks for your advices. I am feeling a bit more comfortable now.

I will probably find a better way to sleep that night because I feel better.

Reply 14

gleamingsun

Original post by Cynthi007

You are in different worlds. Leave it now before you get hurt. Love includes sex. Sex does not include love.

Reply 15

miss_sporty

a guy asked me to do the same. he says he likes me but doesnt want a relationship and he said sex is sex it doesnt mean anything. i told him that i couldnt because of the way i felt about him and maybe thats what you should do otherwise you may get hurt