I hit my girlfriend...

Awww

I can't understand why anybody would give you grief for this, it was clearly an accident. Your girlfriend's overreacting - accidents happen. She sounds quite irritating, if I'm honest. I don't think you've 'frightened' her; she's just playing the victim to make you feel worse - it's what girls do. I'm still not sure why we do it.

All this **** about you needing professional help for your neck thing...don't listen to it, whatever you do. If you've come to terms with the fact that your friend didn't mean to strangle you, but still have neck issues, so be it. You don't need a psychiatrist opening up old wounds. If anything's going to **** your relationship up, it's that. Just don't try the neck thing again! You might love her, but you can't associate the neck thing and her; it's not going to work because she wasn't there when it happened.

Chin up, bud. (Don't worry, I'm not going to touch your neck!)

Apologies for the profanities and bad joke...

I'm obviously not going to lash out if she touches me, seeing as she has since and it's not like I'm a violent person whose hit her for it.

I don't have trust issues in general, just where my neck is concerned.

She obviously knows about the neck problem ... but she doesn't, and will not, know why it exists.

Ok, before everyone starts shouting abuse and how I should turn myself into the police, you need to know the whole context, and understand that it was entirely an accident.

You may or may not have read the thread, but I'm the person who hates having their neck touched ... and my girlfriend likes to touch and kiss my neck. So, in order to get over this, we were trying something where I would be totally relaxed and trusting of her, and then she would slowly touch my neck to see how I'd respond.

So, I was trusting and relaxed. I was so very relaxed, I was in a completely different headspace and, to be honest here, I forgot she was there with me. I even forgot I was there. Then she touched my neck, and brought me out of it very suddenly...

I really did just act on instinct and, in an attempt to get the 'attacker' away from me, I hit out ... and caught her. It was only after that that I even remembered it would be my girlfriend, and as soon as I realised I was stroking and kissing where I'd hit her, getting the ice, cuddling her and apologising.

She said she was all right with it and she understood I hadn't meant to violently attack her, even that she should have gone slower and not taken me by surprise.

However, since then, she hasn't responded to my texts or be as active in conversations, she seems jumpy around me, she was hesistant to get in a car with, she doesn't sleep half laying on me anymore...

I don't know what to do - I really didn't mean to hit her, and I love her so much ... but I think I've scared her, and I'm probably one of the most non-violent people you could meet. Is there anything I can do to make it up to her?

TL;DR version: Accidentally hit my girlfriend in circumstances that are IMO completely understandable. Not a violent person, but now she seems scared of me - anything I can do about it?

I think she reacted like that because she is someone you trust and would have thought you'd be able to restrain yourself as you are her boyfriend and that it wasn't out of malicious intent.

She probably didn't expect you to at all hit her as a reaction hence why she is now a bit frightened and shocked by you.

I wasn't implying you were violent person, of course not. But perhaps she feels afraid of making as much contact as before because of this incident, and she knows that making contact near the neck is an issue.

When I did say trust I was referring to the neck. You don't trust people regarding the contact in that area because your friend strangled you, so probably gives you flashbacks of that occassion and is you reaction to that.

And you haven't told her the reason? You should honestly tell her why you reacted like this, so that she has an understanding.

did you like give her any bruises or anything?? Just tell her what you posted here…. If I was her, I might forgive you… but this all depends on how hard you hit her!!!!!

I'm not surprised she's scared of you now

Give her time, I'm sure she understands but is still in shock or something about it.
I guess it's just like flinching, like because she touched a certain part of your neck that just made you react. Try getting some of your mates or something to touch your neck, or at least someone that's stronger than you and can deal with it. I don't know just lay off a bit

I don't think she is putting it on. I don't think she'd be trying to appear as if it doesn't matter if she was.

Of course I don't associate her with the incident, and I know consciously she's just going to kiss it, not try and strangle me. I just don't like my neck being touched, and don't think we're going to get past that. Neck is just going to have to be out; this incident might finally stop her, but I hate that it might be violence that ends it.

And I found the joke funny.

I don't know what to do - I really didn't mean to hit her, and I love her so much ... but I think I've scared her, and I'm probably one of the most non-violent people you could meet. Is there anything I can do to make it up to her?

TL;DR version: Accidentally hit my girlfriend in circumstances that are IMO completely understandable. Not a violent person, but now she seems scared of me - anything I can do about it?

I haven't got any apart from her and the guy that strangled me in the first place - which one do you reckon I should go with?

Dude... Seek psychological help.

No-one should freak out that much about being touched...

I should turn myself into the police

Yeah... let her touch your neck and ears as much as she wants now, with you being aware of it, obviously dont want another accident

If she did get scared by it.. she will distant herself for a little, until she gets over it. Its quite natural and most people would do the same. I would.

But i guess i would understand.. because I dont like being tickled.

Well. That's a tricky one. Have you tried going to a completely different person, or something. Like, I don't know, go to a marshal arts place and see if they'll help - a long shot, but hey ho, it may just help.
The thing with touching yourself there is that it'll always be familiar to you as it's your body so your brain would know what's happening, hense why you had the reaction to your girlfriend.

This is a wonderful typo, it basically says you are a high-power shapeshifter. Cool.

How, though? People are saying not to behave differently ... except the things I usually do wouldn't show her I'm really sorry.

I can name you at least five groups of people who will freak out about being touched far more (it's not general touching, just the neck).