I hit my girlfriend...

Why is it the weirdest guys are always the one's with girlfriends?

I tried to give a thumbs up to your comment, but TSR politely suggested that I should do so to other people and lay off you for a while. Lmao.

I guess I'm stalking you?
No biggie right?

Ok, before everyone starts shouting abuse and how I should turn myself into the police, you need to know the whole context, and understand that it was entirely an accident.

You may or may not have read the thread, but I'm the person who hates having their neck touched ... and my girlfriend likes to touch and kiss my neck. So, in order to get over this, we were trying something where I would be totally relaxed and trusting of her, and then she would slowly touch my neck to see how I'd respond.

So, I was trusting and relaxed. I was so very relaxed, I was in a completely different headspace and, to be honest here, I forgot she was there with me. I even forgot I was there. Then she touched my neck, and brought me out of it very suddenly...

I really did just act on instinct and, in an attempt to get the 'attacker' away from me, I hit out ... and caught her. It was only after that that I even remembered it would be my girlfriend, and as soon as I realised I was stroking and kissing where I'd hit her, getting the ice, cuddling her and apologising.

She said she was all right with it and she understood I hadn't meant to violently attack her, even that she should have gone slower and not taken me by surprise.

However, since then, she hasn't responded to my texts or be as active in conversations, she seems jumpy around me, she was hesistant to get in a car with, she doesn't sleep half laying on me anymore...

I don't know what to do - I really didn't mean to hit her, and I love her so much ... but I think I've scared her, and I'm probably one of the most non-violent people you could meet. Is there anything I can do to make it up to her?

TL;DR version: Accidentally hit my girlfriend in circumstances that are IMO completely understandable. Not a violent person, but now she seems scared of me - anything I can do about it?

Ok, I've spent the time since my last post talking to her. Apologised to her again for it and got her to open up about it - she assured me she wasn't in pain from it and she wasn't scared of me exactly, more surprised and shocked that I was able to react so violently because she'd never seen it in me before (we've been together getting on for three years), and she didn't really know what she'd done to set it off.

Then, for the first time, I told her why I don't like people touching my neck ... only I said it was a family member when he was drunk, and that I wouldn't be specifying which family member because he regretted it and sought help (few tee-totallers in the family, so it won't be obvious) so it was in the past as far as I'm concerned.

She was horrified that the reason I have such an aversion to it is because someone tried to strangle me, and said she would have never tried anything with the neck if she'd known.

I won't go into details about what happened next, but suffice to say that she didn't try to touch my neck on purpose. However, she did accidentally brush it whilst fluffing my hair up ... and, for the first time, I didn't mind. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it and still don't think anything neck-related will ever be on the cards, but I didn't flinch away either.

Ok.I'm going to give you the benifit of the doubt. I dont think your trolling email her the link to this thread so she can see how you really feel.Your gonna have to earn her trust again you acted on instinct now she is she is using a core instinct to avoid pain it's hard wired into all our brains well except from sadists.

Good luck

I've done retarded things too

regards Tom

I was going to say, you took your sweet time telling her the real reason.

could've avoided chris-browning her if you weren't such a girl about it

Who is Chris Brown?

And I wasn't being 'such a girl about it', I was protecting my friend from her reporting him to the police - she doesn't like him anyway, I doubt this would help.

To be honest, I wasn't intending to tell her tonight ... but it just seemed right to, and the 'drunken relative' occured to me in the moment.

why even say relative?

why would you even need to say friend?

a bit late now, but a simple "I got strangled by someone" would have done, heck just say "it was at a party, some random drunk dude"

now she's going to wonder which relative.

really didn't occur to you to mention this incident even if the details were wrong prior to today?

I know u feel bad about it, but if I was her I think i'd be scared too