Do I have a right to be angry with my ex?

I'll try to keep this short.

So basically, me and my ex (he's a boy, I'm a girl) had been together for 2 years, and we broke up 3 weeks ago. It was a mutual decision, we had been really, really happy together, but things just weren't right anymore. I went to uni this term, and he's stayed at home (going to uni next year.) The long-distance thing wasn't the cause of the break-up, but didn't exactly help.

Anyway, we broke up and wished each other well, etc. etc. It was amicable, and I was really sad, but also sort of relieved. I still love him, but not in the same way as before. It just wasn't right any more.

So I came home from uni a couple of days ago for xmas, and we met up yesterday to have a chat. After chatting about inane friendship stuff for a while, he tells me he's seeing someone new.

After 2 years, he has got over me in 2 weeks (he started dating this girl about a week ago I think.) Do I have a right to be pissed off with him? I can't help feeling belittled by it all. Did our relationship mean so little to him? It's someone I know as well, which makes it all the worse. I'll have to meet up with them too, when everyone gets back for Christmas, since we run in the same social circles. I just don't want to see or speak to him atm. What should I do? How can I get past this anger?

Sorry for this rant, I just needed to get it out of my system.

Reply 1

jonski

Get over it, you've split up now, end of. You said yourself the relationship hadn't been the same for a while so he's entitled to start looking for other people

Reply 2

hothedgehog

Well, it's either a rebound relationship or he wasn't really in your relationship at the end which means he started getting over it a bit earlier which meant that when he moved on it seemed soon to you but compared to his getting over it time it wasn't. To be honest, I think I've done exactly that to someone before.

Reply 3

M_E_X

How can you possibly feel angry with him? You broke up, he can do what he likes. I just can't understand why you could think he is in the wrong here...

Reply 4

doodle7

Original post by Anonymous

After 2 years, he has got over me in 2 weeks (he started dating this girl about a week ago I think.) Do I have a right to be pissed off with him? I can't help feeling belittled by it all. Did our relationship mean so little to him? It's someone I know as well, which makes it all the worse. I'll have to meet up with them too, when everyone gets back for Christmas, since we run in the same social circles. I just don't want to see or speak to him atm. What should I do? How can I get past this anger?

I definitely think the bit in bold is not true. Just because he's seeing someone else it doesn't mean he is over you. You will probably find that he is rebounding and trying to make himself feel better by being with someone else. Maybe he just misses the affection that a partner provides, and is going to see any girl that will give him this, just to fill a void that you have left.

I know it's horrible to see past partners with someone else but you should never devalue your own relationship with him. It was amazing and special at the time and no one will ever take that away from you.

In terms of what you should do...just try to avoid him for a while. If you see them over Christmas be polite and friendly - it's a much more mature approach than being angry/ ranting/ sarcastic to their faces. He will probably be shocked to see you so indifferent about it.

Reply 5

Riso

He sounds a bit insensitive. He should of, at least, held back for a while before engaging in a new relationship, out of respect for you. Nevertheless, I wouldn't confront him about it, I'd just leave it. She has him now and he's her problem.

Reply 6

StaceyWacey

Your relationship is over, he has obviously learnt to move on or it's a rebound relationship. It's understandable that you're annoyed but you'll be okay. Give it time and you'll be okay :smile:

Reply 7

Panda Vinnie

You have a right to be upset by it, but not angry at him as if he's done something wrong. It's his choice, he has no commitments to you now so he can do as he pleases...same goes for you.

It may be a rebound relationship as a way of getting over you, or it could just be that he genuinely came across a girl he really liked. I can imagine it not feeling nice for you but c'est la vie.

Reply 8

Hooj

Honestly this is textbook Gossip girl crap. If you are split up then go see other people. You don't need permission or anything.

Reply 9

Cybele

To be honest, if you've officially split up then it's really up to him when he decides to see someone new. It's not really your place to be angry, you want him to be happy right?