Why do girls do this?
I'm just going to state now, I AM a girl, and I am aware that not every single girl in the whole world does this, before I get people squawking "I don't do that STOP GENERALISING" but it's something I have noticed happening very frequently, and I'm curious about it.
There's been more than enough threads in H&R on this over the past God knows how long, so most of you will get what I'm talking about. The scenario is, a guy likes a girl. Really likes her. They're usually really good friends, but the girl is completely oblivious. Eventually, the guy comes out and tells her. Girl says she doesn't feel the same way (for some wishy-washy reason), so she and the guy stay friends. The girl will go out with countless other guys, but it never works out, and she complains to the guy that there are no decent guys out there and she will never find anyone, and asks "why aren't more guys like you?" But never goes out with guy. Guy pounds head against a brick wall.
Despite the fact that this guy would probably treat her really well, knows her well already and is probably a good match for her, she will never go out with this guy.
Why does this happen? Girls, why do you never consider 'the best friend' type of guy? I can't answer my own question because I've not been in this situation before. Are you put off by a trait of theirs? Is there just no attraction? Even if you've not experienced it, you can theorise. This happens so often, and you see it IRL and even on TV all the time. I think this quote summarises it well:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
There's been more than enough threads in H&R on this over the past God knows how long, so most of you will get what I'm talking about. The scenario is, a guy likes a girl. Really likes her. They're usually really good friends, but the girl is completely oblivious. Eventually, the guy comes out and tells her. Girl says she doesn't feel the same way (for some wishy-washy reason), so she and the guy stay friends. The girl will go out with countless other guys, but it never works out, and she complains to the guy that there are no decent guys out there and she will never find anyone, and asks "why aren't more guys like you?" But never goes out with guy. Guy pounds head against a brick wall.
Despite the fact that this guy would probably treat her really well, knows her well already and is probably a good match for her, she will never go out with this guy.
Why does this happen? Girls, why do you never consider 'the best friend' type of guy? I can't answer my own question because I've not been in this situation before. Are you put off by a trait of theirs? Is there just no attraction? Even if you've not experienced it, you can theorise. This happens so often, and you see it IRL and even on TV all the time. I think this quote summarises it well:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
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Original post by IlexBlue
I'm just going to state now, I AM a girl, and I am aware that not every single girl in the whole world does this, before I get people squawking "I don't do that STOP GENERALISING" but it's something I have noticed happening very frequently, and I'm curious about it.
There's been more than enough threads in H&R on this over the past God knows how long, so most of you will get what I'm talking about. The scenario is, a guy likes a girl. Really likes her. They're usually really good friends, but the girl is completely oblivious. Eventually, the guy comes out and tells her. Girl says she doesn't feel the same way (for some wishy-washy reason), so she and the guy stay friends. The girl will go out with countless other guys, but it never works out, and she complains to the guy that there are no decent guys out there and she will never find anyone, and asks "why aren't more guys like you?" But never goes out with guy. Guy pounds head against a brick wall.
Despite the fact that this guy would probably treat her really well, knows her well already and is probably a good match for her, she will never go out with this guy.
Why does this happen? Girls, why do you never consider 'the best friend' type of guy? I can't answer my own question because I've not been in this situation before. Are you put off by a trait of theirs? Is there just no attraction? Even if you've not experienced it, you can theorise. This happens so often, and you see it IRL and even on TV all the time. I think this quote summarises it well:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
There's been more than enough threads in H&R on this over the past God knows how long, so most of you will get what I'm talking about. The scenario is, a guy likes a girl. Really likes her. They're usually really good friends, but the girl is completely oblivious. Eventually, the guy comes out and tells her. Girl says she doesn't feel the same way (for some wishy-washy reason), so she and the guy stay friends. The girl will go out with countless other guys, but it never works out, and she complains to the guy that there are no decent guys out there and she will never find anyone, and asks "why aren't more guys like you?" But never goes out with guy. Guy pounds head against a brick wall.
Despite the fact that this guy would probably treat her really well, knows her well already and is probably a good match for her, she will never go out with this guy.
Why does this happen? Girls, why do you never consider 'the best friend' type of guy? I can't answer my own question because I've not been in this situation before. Are you put off by a trait of theirs? Is there just no attraction? Even if you've not experienced it, you can theorise. This happens so often, and you see it IRL and even on TV all the time. I think this quote summarises it well:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
I agree with you here and have to say i am guilty of this. Sometimes once someone is your friend your just too scared to take it any further for fear that if it does not work out you just messed up a really good friendship. I also know that sometimes it is the attraction part. They can be the perferct guy but if your not attracted to them its not going to work.
It is probably worth taking it further though because if it does work it would be just that awesome.
Original post by IlexBlue
I'm just going to state now, I AM a girl, and I am aware that not every single girl in the whole world does this, before I get people squawking "I don't do that STOP GENERALISING" but it's something I have noticed happening very frequently, and I'm curious about it.
There's been more than enough threads in H&R on this over the past God knows how long, so most of you will get what I'm talking about. The scenario is, a guy likes a girl. Really likes her. They're usually really good friends, but the girl is completely oblivious. Eventually, the guy comes out and tells her. Girl says she doesn't feel the same way (for some wishy-washy reason), so she and the guy stay friends. The girl will go out with countless other guys, but it never works out, and she complains to the guy that there are no decent guys out there and she will never find anyone, and asks "why aren't more guys like you?" But never goes out with guy. Guy pounds head against a brick wall.
Despite the fact that this guy would probably treat her really well, knows her well already and is probably a good match for her, she will never go out with this guy.
Why does this happen? Girls, why do you never consider 'the best friend' type of guy? I can't answer my own question because I've not been in this situation before. Are you put off by a trait of theirs? Is there just no attraction? Even if you've not experienced it, you can theorise. This happens so often, and you see it IRL and even on TV all the time. I think this quote summarises it well:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
There's been more than enough threads in H&R on this over the past God knows how long, so most of you will get what I'm talking about. The scenario is, a guy likes a girl. Really likes her. They're usually really good friends, but the girl is completely oblivious. Eventually, the guy comes out and tells her. Girl says she doesn't feel the same way (for some wishy-washy reason), so she and the guy stay friends. The girl will go out with countless other guys, but it never works out, and she complains to the guy that there are no decent guys out there and she will never find anyone, and asks "why aren't more guys like you?" But never goes out with guy. Guy pounds head against a brick wall.
Despite the fact that this guy would probably treat her really well, knows her well already and is probably a good match for her, she will never go out with this guy.
Why does this happen? Girls, why do you never consider 'the best friend' type of guy? I can't answer my own question because I've not been in this situation before. Are you put off by a trait of theirs? Is there just no attraction? Even if you've not experienced it, you can theorise. This happens so often, and you see it IRL and even on TV all the time. I think this quote summarises it well:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
Because these sorts of guys tend to be pussies that leave it too long to ask the girl out, at which point the girl will only see this guy as a friend. Then the girl comes across some bad-boy type that actually has the balls to ask her out and instead goes out with him, leaving the 'nice' guy behind.
In summary; grow some balls and ask girls that you like out or you will forever be deemed as a 'friend' to her.
Original post by IlexBlue
I'm just going to state now, I AM a girl, and I am aware that not every single girl in the whole world does this, before I get people squawking "I don't do that STOP GENERALISING" but it's something I have noticed happening very frequently, and I'm curious about it.
There's been more than enough threads in H&R on this over the past God knows how long, so most of you will get what I'm talking about. The scenario is, a guy likes a girl. Really likes her. They're usually really good friends, but the girl is completely oblivious. Eventually, the guy comes out and tells her. Girl says she doesn't feel the same way (for some wishy-washy reason), so she and the guy stay friends. The girl will go out with countless other guys, but it never works out, and she complains to the guy that there are no decent guys out there and she will never find anyone, and asks "why aren't more guys like you?" But never goes out with guy. Guy pounds head against a brick wall.
Despite the fact that this guy would probably treat her really well, knows her well already and is probably a good match for her, she will never go out with this guy.
Why does this happen? Girls, why do you never consider 'the best friend' type of guy? I can't answer my own question because I've not been in this situation before. Are you put off by a trait of theirs? Is there just no attraction? Even if you've not experienced it, you can theorise. This happens so often, and you see it IRL and even on TV all the time. I think this quote summarises it well:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
There's been more than enough threads in H&R on this over the past God knows how long, so most of you will get what I'm talking about. The scenario is, a guy likes a girl. Really likes her. They're usually really good friends, but the girl is completely oblivious. Eventually, the guy comes out and tells her. Girl says she doesn't feel the same way (for some wishy-washy reason), so she and the guy stay friends. The girl will go out with countless other guys, but it never works out, and she complains to the guy that there are no decent guys out there and she will never find anyone, and asks "why aren't more guys like you?" But never goes out with guy. Guy pounds head against a brick wall.
Despite the fact that this guy would probably treat her really well, knows her well already and is probably a good match for her, she will never go out with this guy.
Why does this happen? Girls, why do you never consider 'the best friend' type of guy? I can't answer my own question because I've not been in this situation before. Are you put off by a trait of theirs? Is there just no attraction? Even if you've not experienced it, you can theorise. This happens so often, and you see it IRL and even on TV all the time. I think this quote summarises it well:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
I've got a twist on this story...my best male friend asked me out since he's desparately in love with me. I said yes because he's a great guy and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. The problem is, I'm not attracted to him the way he is me (I think he's lovely and there is something there, but he loves me WAY more than I love him) and now I can't break up with him or I'll lose a best friend!
The problem is from a guys point of view. If you are not exactly one of the bold and forceful types, it is quite difficult to manufacture it. Whenever you do, you tend to look and sound quite fake.
Some guys are just meant to be on the sidelines. It is just a case of dealing with it and not getting bitter.
Some guys are just meant to be on the sidelines. It is just a case of dealing with it and not getting bitter.
Original post by Traceur
Because these sorts of guys tend to be pussies that leave it too long to ask the girl out, at which point the girl will only see this guy as a friend. Then the girl comes across some bad-boy type that actually has the balls to ask her out and instead goes out with him, leaving the 'nice' guy behind.
In summary; grow some balls and ask girls that you like out or you will forever be deemed as a 'friend' to her.
In summary; grow some balls and ask girls that you like out or you will forever be deemed as a 'friend' to her.
Nail on head
OP I often wonder this, all the close guy friends I have have been gay except for one, who ended up becoming my boyfriend because he had the balls to ask me out before I gave up and lost interest. Guys, no matter how modern times are, girls seldom make the first move so it's up to you I'm afraid. Granted it is not guaranteed that she sill like you back, but it is always better to ask her sooner rather than later. The longer you leave it the more your friendship will suffer, asking sooner will save you all that hurt and it will be easier to move on.
Original post by Traceur
Because these sorts of guys tend to be pussies that leave it too long to ask the girl out, at which point the girl will only see this guy as a friend. Then the girl comes across some bad-boy type that actually has the balls to ask her out and instead goes out with him, leaving the 'nice' guy behind.
In summary; grow some balls and ask girls that you like out or you will forever be deemed as a 'friend' to her.
In summary; grow some balls and ask girls that you like out or you will forever be deemed as a 'friend' to her.
Lol OP. i agree, girls make things sooo complicated. why is it that they go for the flirty guys and then wonder why they get cheated on? like they say, nice guys finsh last...
i don't agree with the quote from Traceur. sometimes us guys are really in love with a girl and find it sooo hard to tell her because we'd be shattered if we told her and she starts getting all weird and stops talking to you and gives you a cold shoulder. i think when you get to this stage, you just feel to kind of.. worried that you'll lose what you have with her. i mean i asked this girl if she likes me (haven't told her i love her yet) coz we're really close and she says "your strange..i don't know..i haven't got an answer" aswell as saying that:
she tells me everything and teling me about guys being like creeps with her and saying i wish you were there
"your house is like my second home"
"whether you do it or i do it, it's the same thing" (when clearing dishes from the dining table, or general tidying my house and stuff)
i mean why make life so difficult? then they flirt with guys that are obviously male slags (lol) and behave normally only when we're alone...
Original post by SuperGuy
Nice guys finish last.
yup, ALWAYS. that's what i say too...
what ? i think i need to go back to sleep that just confused me reading it ... good luck with lads anyway 
Original post by Ms_Flames
Maybe its because she doesn't want to ruin the relationship with the friend.
But isn't the guy is thinking the same thing? He knows that if she says no, it could make things awkward. There's responsibility on both sides if they want the friendship to be maintained. The guy needs to accept the fact that the girl just doesn't see him in that way and move on from it and the girl needs to not over-react to the situation and make the guy feel more embarrassed than he probably already is.
Original post by Traceur
Because these sorts of guys tend to be pussies that leave it too long to ask the girl out, at which point the girl will only see this guy as a friend. Then the girl comes across some bad-boy type that actually has the balls to ask her out and instead goes out with him, leaving the 'nice' guy behind.
In summary; grow some balls and ask girls that you like out or you will forever be deemed as a 'friend' to her.
In summary; grow some balls and ask girls that you like out or you will forever be deemed as a 'friend' to her.
Oh yeah! I think I am slowly getting into this situation..or the guy actually doesnt like me which is good for him since he does need to grow some balls!
If there's no attraction, there's no attraction. That can't be helped. Sometimes a really good friend feels more like a brother or something; someone that is loved in a non-sexual way.
I don't see why that's something to be criticised seeing as it's involuntary. The behaviour of women in these situations, however, is stupid. I agree on that. When they say things like "if only guys were more like you", that is obviously going to mess with his head.
The feeling is fine, it's just the way that women act on it that causes all the hassle.
I don't see why that's something to be criticised seeing as it's involuntary. The behaviour of women in these situations, however, is stupid. I agree on that. When they say things like "if only guys were more like you", that is obviously going to mess with his head.
The feeling is fine, it's just the way that women act on it that causes all the hassle.
Original post by Blueflare
If there's no attraction, there's no attraction. That can't be helped. Sometimes a really good friend feels more like a brother or something; someone that is loved in a non-sexual way.
I don't see why that's something to be criticised seeing as it's involuntary. The behaviour of women in these situations, however, is stupid. I agree on that. When they say things like "if only guys were more like you", that is obviously going to mess with his head.
The feeling is fine, it's just the way that women act on it that causes all the hassle.
I don't see why that's something to be criticised seeing as it's involuntary. The behaviour of women in these situations, however, is stupid. I agree on that. When they say things like "if only guys were more like you", that is obviously going to mess with his head.
The feeling is fine, it's just the way that women act on it that causes all the hassle.
Very true especially on the behaviour of some girls
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