Boyfriend going his work xmas party alone, is it wrong that im upset?

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Why don't you just do your own thing that evening, instead of getting annoyed because you weren't invited. I think you're being a tad unreasonable to be honest. If i were in a relationship i don't think i'd expect to be invited to all of my boyfriend's work dos.

Reply 41

Blueflare

He's going there to be with people he knows from work. Why do you feel like you have to intrude on that? Why isn't he allowed to have his own life?

Reply 42

aleathiel

Original post by fallenflower

Nope because he never bothers to take me, when others take their partners :angry:

yet he expects to go on all my work nights out or other socials. Ive never had this with other boyfriends so not really sure how to approach it tbh.

If he insists on going to yours then I don't understand why he doesn't ask you to his.. Maybe drop it into conversation somehow, although I understand that may be awkward.. I don't see why you can't socialise with his work colleagues but he can with yours?! double standards :s-smilie:

For the record, I'm going as my partner's plus one to her work christmas outing and she was invited to mine although I then couldn't be bothered as I had to work that evening anyways but still. I just assumed it was the thing to do, bring your partner so can't understand why he doesn't want to.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 43

fallenflower

Original post by jacketpotato

And if it is because he forgot to ask whether you could go in the first place, then surely you can't go anyway?

Noooo when they do booking forms for anything its yeah me + one. If whoever doing it doesnt say "Would you like to bring anyone with you" he assums im not welcome, which means things like this where someone has organised it and not percifically asked him if i was going i dont go, which annoys unlike him going im going out with the lads on thursday night.

Its the way he goes oh it the works xmas party on X, and im like ermm is that a hint to buy a dress or not. Eventually raise the subject and hes like oh at the time they didnt ask if you were going, however now people are taking partners. ie they have just said yeah im brining X with me aswell, when the form was done.

Original post by aleathiel

Because I go yeah put me down plus xxxx where as he doesnt as he plain and simply doesnt have a clue when your meant to take your partner anywhere. So unless someone says are you going to ask her i dont get invited so then when i go to something afterwards its like "oh why didnt you come to" making it very uncomfortable for me.

Reply 44

joey11223

Original post by fallenflower

I’ve always subscribed to the it not the “If you have a partner, then there's no more "ME", there's only "US".”

I'll be honest and say I really don't think that's a good mentality to have in a relationship. Are you saying he can't have his own hobbies which you don't like and he spends time on, can't go on trips with mates without you? People still there own space at times, still be their own person...

I like to keep my personal life and my work life separate myself..it could be that he is similar?

I suppose if he has a real habit of not taking you out with him on work functions, nights out with friends etc, you'd want to sit down and talk about it, maybe he either doesn't release you find it such a problem OR there's some sort of silly reason he doesn't want to take you with him.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 45

dhutch

Read this yesterday, perhaps relevant.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-11950846

Reply 46

Advanced Subsidiary

Original post by fallenflower

Im not being stroppy if I was id be refusing to pick him up so he couldnt go!! Im being rather carm tbh

I'm sorry but, :facepalm:

Reply 47

Advanced Subsidiary

Original post by brokenangel

im in the same kinda postion but agreed to pick mine up so i can atleast have sunday with him and he will be getting a serious lecture all the way home if i find out other people had their partners there! We are on placement in the same trust and i will be going across to the hospital he at so im also thinking this is going to be awkward in a few months when i have to meet these people.

I think men just dont realise how it can make a woman feel ie dejected we are only there when they want us etc

Hint get your own back next time you have a night out he could go on make it obvious like oh i cant wait to meet so and so new partner apparently she is xyz or something then dont take him - totally childish but should make him realise prity quick that it isnt just a work nightout, its a question of how seriously he take the relationship.

BTW to all those saying the ops acting childish once you hit 20 it kinda become more of an adult relationship ie the problems of where to spend xmas etc start hence you kinda expect to get invited more.

Why would you need to hold her hand all night lol we are perfectly capable of talking to other people at the table. Some of my mates now i actually meet through an ex as he worked with them. my mam is really close to all my dads work mates wifes because they all take theirs to functions etc hell im even going out to meet some of them after their xmas meal

You are unbelievably immature. Girls mature faster than guys? gtfo.

Reply 48

mauvetard

Useful tip: - grow up darling its not a strip club

Reply 49

xnatalie01x

You are being quite unreasonable. It's his work thing, one thing he has away from you. I'd let him do his own thing and you do yours- it would actually be more awkward for you as you probably won't get their conversations.

Reply 50

fallenflower

Original post by xnatalie01x

they aint going to be talking work when they all have their partners there other than him!!!!!! I was raised properly thanks i can hold a conversation about anything, plus we work in the same industry just different places.

Why would anyone want to keep anything from their partners, im off to pick the stupid boy up now anyway seen as its an hour drive away.

Reply 51

xnatalie01x

Original post by fallenflower

Alright, no need to get pissy :tongue:

Reply 52

brokenangel

Original post by Advanced Subsidiary

You are unbelievably immature. Girls mature faster than guys? gtfo.

Lol no where did i say i was mature, its the only way to teach some men is to play them at their own game ie pretend you dont think what you are doing is wrong

Reply 53

Traceur

Original post by fallenflower

To cut a long story short tonight is the boyfriends work xmas party, im not invited but expected to pick him up. I’m rather upset about this as on previous nights out etc he has been asked where I am but still doesn’t think to invite me. I’ve always subscribed to the it not the “If you have a partner, then there's no more "ME", there's only "US".” Hence rather pissed off and upset that he seem to be ashamed of me!

Were both 20 so not a silly little teenage couple and have been together nearly a year. Night out with the lads etc I can understand btw so not a controlling girlfriend. Also this isnt something paid for by the company everyone pays for themselves so it not like partners arent allowed

Of course you're not. :wink:

Reply 54

The Narrator

Original post by fallenflower

Why would i feel like the odd one out! God i can mingle i do have something called social skills, I dont have to know someone to strike up a conversation.

Who said you have no social skills? (although I won't mention how the way the majority of people on here have responded to you). What I meant was your boyfriend's work mates might not be the kind of people you could really socialise or strike up a conversation with. I know from experience of trying to talk to work mates of my friends that when they are all having a good chat and laugh at something work related it is a bit uncomfortable trying to get involved in the conversation as you may not have the foggiest idea what they are on about (you could be the best socialiser in the world but if a group of people are talking about things you haven't a clue about or someone they don't know it is difficult to get involved).

I know you don't have to know someone to strike up a conversation as you've mentioned you have a boyfriend, I thought it would have been obvious that you'd have had to strike up conversations with people including him to end up having a boyfriend in the first place. What I meant was it's difficult striking up conversation when everyone there has something in common (they all work in the same place) and you don't (hence why I said you would be the odd one out), they will likely be talking to their mates there who they have know a long time and the conversations will likely involve things they talk about quite a lot, inside jokes and a lot of work-related discussion too.

Bottom line is you may have social skills but the majority of people there will know each other at least quite well and if people are at a party they will most likely be there to have a fun time with their mates, chatting about things they all know about each other and you probably wouldn't have a clue about.

Reply 55

big-boss-91

Original post by fallenflower

Im sorry but thats not really relevent as this is a pay your own way party. I disagree with the article and heres why, this is not why im annoyed at him btw.

If the employess were seriously bothered about his gf being sick then they havent meet this lot if someone isnt ill before the end of the night its weired and definatly wouldnt be big news after a few days next week.

I agree with the relationship coach tbh as A) Your relationship should be more important than a little bit of good natured ribbing if the partner embarrises themselves (hell ive took it more than once for him)
B)If you are having an affair then tbf you deserve to get found out.
C)A few dont mention xyz and your sorted over the worries of what if she says something wrong.

Sexual tensions between staff are normal why would anyone be ashamed of their partner seeing that.

Why the hell would any woman speek to their husbands boss when they know it not going to go down well.

I really dont understand this "He would have to hold her hand" surelly any modern woman has been shown how to mingle with other people.

heard of this saying?

"don't bring work home, leave it at work"

surely it works the other way round? if i'm going to a work party, yes i would invite my girlfriend along but i have to consider whether i should since conversations with the work mates is usually about girlfriends and wives.

p.s I don't have a job yet since i'm a student and i don't have a girlfriend yet since i'm a bloody coward.

Reply 56

misscharli

I think its fine that he prefers to go to his work party alone. All the work xmas parties Ive been too nobody brings their partner. Is he even allowed to bring you? I think you need to give him some space.

Reply 57

Hana_87

Hmmmm. Maybe as others have said, he just wants some time alone. You do sound fairly naggy/clingy...

Cliched but true that if you let something go and it comes back - it's yours. If you let your boyfriend do his own thing and you're the one he comes back to at the end of the day/night you know he wants to be with you, if you force someone into doing things i.e taking you to a works xmas do it's only gonna push him away.

Chill out and concentrate on your own life - forget him and his bloody works do!

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 58

JustSmile

I read this yesterday, read it and be enlightened!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-11950846

I do admit it's a bit sly if he insists on going to your work nights out though...