The Student Room Group

Do you become distant with a person you start to like?

I doubt many boys do this, more a trait the girls do, but open to both this thread is.

If you start to develop feelings for a person, do you ever tend to become more 'distant' with them? For example, maybe not text or talk to them as much, seem less interested etc.

If so, why?

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Reply 1
I do.
I tend to get all up in their grill
Reply 3
Being in an LDR, it happens.

But not intentionally, from my prospective.
Reply 4
If I start thinking that people will guess that I like them, I may distance myself, but otherwise no, I try to be around them as much as possible tbh.
Reply 5
Original post by Captain92
If I start thinking that people will guess that I like them, I may distance myself, but otherwise no, I try to be around them as much as possible tbh.


But why? Wouldn't you want him to get the feeling that you could like him?
Reply 6
Sometimes it happens to me. I dont know the real reason
Reply 7
Original post by qwerty_mad
But why? Wouldn't you want him to get the feeling that you could like him?


That depends on the guy really. I don't enjoy being teased and poked and being told "ooooh you fancy so-and-so" so I keep things on the low-down as much as I can.
Generally when I like someone I get a little flirty/ touchy-feely, see how they respond, then go from there. But once other people get involved and start trying to set me up or whatever, I back off and deny all knowledge :3
I'm a girl and I do this. :frown: I really like this guy at work, but I ignore him and try and act really cool around him - I almost act as if I don't like him...I do it because I'm scared he doesn't like me back, but deep down I think he does!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a girl and I do this. :frown: I really like this guy at work, but I ignore him and try and act really cool around him - I almost act as if I don't like him...I do it because I'm scared he doesn't like me back, but deep down I think he does!
This!
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a girl and I do this. :frown: I really like this guy at work, but I ignore him and try and act really cool around him - I almost act as if I don't like him...I do it because I'm scared he doesn't like me back, but deep down I think he does!


You are killing any chance you may have of getting with that person by acting this way.

I really don't understand why some girls behave like this. Surely you want to be with this person? So why act in a way that tells them to back off?
I first go through a period of not being able to get enough of that person but I very very quickly get bored and become very distant. My most valuable friendships and relationships have been forged through people being very persistent as I go through the distant phase.
If I like a girl, I end up really liking her and become totally infatuated so naturally do my best to get as close to her as possible.

Once that happens and if it goes on to a casual dating/early relationship time, I start to really hate the fact that I like her. I hate being consumed by another person even if it's slightly, so that's when I end up distancing myself and it all goes downhill from there.

I hate liking a person, wish I could just not like anybody but I'm only human at the end, it happens.
I thought this guy who I liked might have been interested but now he seems to not notice me at all and is a little distant. So maybe I was wrong in the first place and I always end up liking those guys who don't like me back!
Reply 14
Yes. It's subconscious and not something I can control.

Part of the reason why I've been single my entire life.
I don't try and be around him all the time cos I'm scared he won't like me, I always think of talking to them but I don't have the confidence and what can I even say?
I have a bf and so I don't intend to get close to anybody else :p:. But I don't think I would have gotten a bf if I were distant, which I wasn't :no:
Yes.

Sometimes, it's because they start to be friendly and interested back and take it further than I'm happy with. I cannot BEAR the thought of sharing my whole life with someone and feeling like they have to know everything I do. So if I like someone, and they start showing an interest in me, that's ok - until they start texting me every other day, wanting to know how I am and what I'm up to. That's when I stop replying to them. If they can handle going 4 days without knowing what I've been doing (which is, frankly, never anything exciting anyway), then they'll be fine with it. If they can't, then we're clearly never going to work together as a couple.

Sometimes it's because they show no interest in me, so obviously I back off. I don't want to be that creepy clinger-on who can't take 'no' for an answer.
I tend to go on an insult rampage :ashamed:.
Reply 19
Yes, I do this...

I tend to become super awkward around them too

*sighs*

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