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Should I tell her she's fat and ugly?

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She may be fat and ugly, but your social skills are so poor that you must consult TSR on how to tactfully turn down a girl? That's even more tragic!

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 21

ilovethekooks

tell her that she'd better put accurate pictures of hers on that dating website from now on.

its just funny how people like to lie to themselves that they are beautiful by only putting nice pictures. Some, even worse, use other people's photos.

Reply 22

Studentus-anonymous

Original post by cttp_ngaf

I met this girl online, and I saw a couple of photos, she seemed pretty enough. We spoke a bit and she asked if I wanted to meet up. I agreed, but we didn't arrange anything. Then I added her on FB and, uh oh, she's actually awfully ugly, fat and pretty weird all round.

I no longer wish to meet up with her. She has just asked me when I'm free.

Shall I delay and delay and delay until she loses interest?
Shall I just block her and vanish?
Shall I tell her that having seen more accurate pictures of her I now don't want to meet up?

Or I guess there's the option of meeting with her but being an awful bore and seeming extremely disinterested - she'd get the hint.

Because someone who is 'fat and ugly' is really going to not let desperation colour their response to your dismissive behaviour right?

Vanish, you don;t know her and you don't really owe her anything.

You could of course be a gentleman and at least say "hey to be honest I don't really want to pursue whatever this is any more, sorry" but yeah.

Your problem.

Reply 23

cttp_ngaf

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

Because someone who is 'fat and ugly' is really going to not let desperation colour their response to your dismissive behaviour right?

I don't understand this bit, I assume it's some kind of awkward sarcasm but I don't know what it "really" means, haha.

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

Vanish

Innit, probably the best option. Being honest with girls about anything, even a tiny little bit, is a recipe for disaster.

Reply 24

SpiritedAway

Just vanish. Any of the other options is just plain wrong and cruel.

Reply 25

ilyking

Original post by Huskaris

She'll probably swallow on the bright side... Every cloud and all that.

lol at your sig :biggrin:

I'll neg rep you

Reply 26

toasteh

Say you've chickened out. Kind of true, isn't it?

Reply 27

DanielleT192

Original post by ilovethekooks

And why would people put horrible pictures up of themselves? Some aren't very photogenic, so the pictures that complement their looks are better than those that ruin them.

OP, all I could say is I think your approach is really shallow. If you genuinely don't want to meet her because of this reason, then I'd follow others advice and block her, but be subtle about it. Otherwise, I would meet her for one date to see if looks are all that are accountable.

You never know, she might actually be your type, even if she isn't highly attractive.

Reply 28

lynds81

I would just block her tbh.. She'll probably forget fairly quickly.

Also, your comment that you should never be honest with girls... That's crap. Tactful, yes. Liar, no.

Reply 29

username227498

Don't tell her she's fat and ugly, that's just rude. o.o

Just vanish. You met her online and have never actually met in person so it wouldn't be that odd.

Reply 32

ilovethekooks

Original post by DanielleT192

And why would people put horrible pictures up of themselves? Some aren't very photogenic, so the pictures that complement their looks are better than those that ruin them.

I didnt mean that people should put horrible pictures of theirs. They should put pictures in which they look good and normal, those that are as close to the real person as possible.
I have noticed that on some dating websites, girls only put really really gorgeous pictures. I mean, whats the point? i agree that its nice when people comment that "you're hot", "you're sexy, gorgeous" blah blah blah but whats the point in living in the dream world when you're actually not that beautiful. It's just sad lying to yourself seriously!!

Reply 33

Kerr Avon

Original post by BambieWambie

Meet her and bring cake

Reply 34

Menakshelatte

yes like everyone says vanish.don't communicate.

Reply 35

Peace0fM1nd

Just let her know you've changed your mind for some reason, maybe say you met another person or you need to spend more time on studying and nows not the right time for dating. its not really gonna be nice if you vanish and leave are in the dark - the least you can do for her is be nice and do the right thing. don't hurt her feelings please it could have a bigger impact on her than you realise

Reply 36

Zebracolors

Original post by draikzer

Pif. OP is not shallow.

Girls calling OP shallow are just trying to make themselves feel better about being ugly.

If it was the same situation a girl wouldnt think twice about blocking an ugly guy.

Im not call?ng OP shallow but if you are not shallow than you can at least be kind enough to not tell her your opinions about her body to her face. That would probably kill her self esteem.

Don't you think it would be like a woman d?rectly telling him his 'john thomans' was too small. So whatever you decide to do (or have already done) that's up to you. You are the one who has to l?ve with it.

/only my thoughts

Reply 37

Blueflare

You could just be friends, say you have no romantic feelings for her.

"Romantic feelings" in this case being a euphemism for "boner".

Reply 38

cttp_ngaf

Original post by lynds81

I would just block her tbh.. She'll probably forget fairly quickly.

Also, your comment that you should never be honest with girls... That's crap. Tactful, yes. Liar, no.

I'm not sure what the distinction is, really. Either way you're choosing words that are less direct, less accurate, less "honest", in order to provoke a good (or less bad) reaction from someone.

Original post by DanielleT192

You never know, she might actually be your type, even if she isn't highly attractive.

I can't imagine ever being into someone who I didn't find physically attractive. I'd feel disgusted about ever hugging her let alone having sex or kissing, eurgh. It just couldn't happen.

Original post by Zebracolors

Don't you think it would be like a woman d?rectly telling him his 'john thomans' was too small.

That doesn't actually bother me, I know exactly how big/small my dick is and how it compares to other men. It doesn't change according to what people say.