How do I give my boyfriend more - i'm scared our distance may cause him to leave! :(
Hiya,
Me and my boyfriend are in a Long Distance Relationship and he works part-time. At his job, there's a wide variety of age ranges, but more and more 18-21 year old girls are joining. I'm 18, 19 in 2 months and he's 19, just turned. Thing is, these girls are really good looking, and some of the texts he sends me, would make another girl concerned.
I'm not worrying (much) because he's like the perfect boyfriend; he looks after me, cares about me, supports me, loves me, buys me nice things, he's never cheated on me, never hit me, always is there for me, he's good looking, charming, sweet, funny and he's not stick thin or disgustingly massively ripped, he's tall, very intelligent (but not WoW geeky), he's a winner for me, basically.
And to describe his personality in a few words, i'd say: funny/jokey (sexual
)/laid-back, so he's always sent me these texts/msn messages which are like of a sexual nature and it's lovely when he's extremely dirty, and then tells me it's all towards me. Been together a year now.
Anyway, when I used to mention a 'slag friend' of mine, who puts out easily and stuff, he used to joke stuff like, "ey ey, give me her number
" but I knew it was a joke, like he'd never act upon it. He's not that type of guy.
But just earlier today, we were texting (it's limited to text being a very long LDR) and he was being dirty-flirty with me, talking about giving me oral, and vice versa.
Now, obviously I do trust him, but I feel like I live so far away and these girls are all so pretty with amazing bodies and though he finds me attractive and pretty, as well as sexually attractive, what if he says, these girls are much closer, more sex, different girls, etc, and leaves me.
I know he won't - he's not that type. But he is a guy, and he's obviously guna think "oh my, she is fit" when he sees a pretty girl. I just want him, it's a pretty serious relationship and he won't leave me, but I do sometimes worry that he might get bored of me, or take the more frequent and convienient sex/relationship with these girls, because being in an LDR our meeting and spending time and hugging is about once a month so sex is very infrequent. It's so nice of him when he re-assures me that he will do nothing of the sort and I feel I don't appreciate him enough and just want to give him more, probably sexually.
What can I do to spice up our love/sex life, and should I be worried??
Me and my boyfriend are in a Long Distance Relationship and he works part-time. At his job, there's a wide variety of age ranges, but more and more 18-21 year old girls are joining. I'm 18, 19 in 2 months and he's 19, just turned. Thing is, these girls are really good looking, and some of the texts he sends me, would make another girl concerned.
I'm not worrying (much) because he's like the perfect boyfriend; he looks after me, cares about me, supports me, loves me, buys me nice things, he's never cheated on me, never hit me, always is there for me, he's good looking, charming, sweet, funny and he's not stick thin or disgustingly massively ripped, he's tall, very intelligent (but not WoW geeky), he's a winner for me, basically.
And to describe his personality in a few words, i'd say: funny/jokey (sexual
)/laid-back, so he's always sent me these texts/msn messages which are like of a sexual nature and it's lovely when he's extremely dirty, and then tells me it's all towards me. Been together a year now.Anyway, when I used to mention a 'slag friend' of mine, who puts out easily and stuff, he used to joke stuff like, "ey ey, give me her number
" but I knew it was a joke, like he'd never act upon it. He's not that type of guy.But just earlier today, we were texting (it's limited to text being a very long LDR) and he was being dirty-flirty with me, talking about giving me oral, and vice versa.
Now, obviously I do trust him, but I feel like I live so far away and these girls are all so pretty with amazing bodies and though he finds me attractive and pretty, as well as sexually attractive, what if he says, these girls are much closer, more sex, different girls, etc, and leaves me.
I know he won't - he's not that type. But he is a guy, and he's obviously guna think "oh my, she is fit
" when he sees a pretty girl. I just want him, it's a pretty serious relationship and he won't leave me, but I do sometimes worry that he might get bored of me, or take the more frequent and convienient sex/relationship with these girls, because being in an LDR our meeting and spending time and hugging is about once a month so sex is very infrequent. It's so nice of him when he re-assures me that he will do nothing of the sort and I feel I don't appreciate him enough and just want to give him more, probably sexually.What can I do to spice up our love/sex life, and should I be worried??
(edited 13 years ago)
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Sounds like a perv
Original post by Blueflare
Bantersaurus rex. 
He could be kidding, but I were you I would speak to him about it and ask him not so say stuff like that anymore. It's awkward.
He could be kidding, but I were you I would speak to him about it and ask him not so say stuff like that anymore. It's awkward.
He's just jokey about everything though, I guess I will talk to him, but it doesn't bother me (much).
The thing that bothers me is he does so much for me, I've had so many personal and family problems, and he's always been there, and I can't do anything for him or to re-pay him.
What can I do more for him? What do guys want? And how do I give it in an LDR, especially when I can't see/talk on phone much because of my family and their restrictions/limitations?
That's why i'm most scared he's guna leave me - I make him go through so much for me, and he just does it, without reward.
What shall I do for him to show him that I really do love him and appreciate everything?
Let him hit that.
Original post by PapaShmurff
Sounds like a perv
Name me one straight guy, that if had the chance, would say no to cleavage and bum?
I do it, even as a girl.
Oh and believe me, he's straight, before you ask.
Straighter than y=x
Original post by SirRamAlot
Let him hit that.
No.
He can hit me (sexually) all he wants, just not any other girl.
But it being an LDR, he can't 'hit me' that much.
How can I make that up to him?
I would not be cool with that. A bit of teasing is fine, but he pushed it a bit far. Try to talk to him without coming across as really insecure (don't keep going on about how you think he'll leave you). In my experience, guys often like it if you get a little jealous...it's like their way of testing that you care.
Original post by KrispyKatieKreme
"I have work later - so some escapism from home. xD Plus, I get to look at girls in their tight uniform tops. Yesterday, there was this one girl who joined new and I was looking over her, to help if she had any problems/enquiries and because she hadn't been given uniform yet, she was wearing tight black trousers and a v-neck black jumper and she had firm juicsters; I like what I saw. 
"
To which I replied:
"Well, I better come there and cover her up in a burka then.
"
And he continued:
"Oh please don't (I hope she's a heavy single drinker), and more to take off before I cream her."
"I have work later - so some escapism from home. xD Plus, I get to look at girls in their tight uniform tops.
Yesterday, there was this one girl who joined new and I was looking over her, to help if she had any problems/enquiries and because she hadn't been given uniform yet, she was wearing tight black trousers and a v-neck black jumper and she had firm juicsters; I like what I saw. "To which I replied:
"Well, I better come there and cover her up in a burka then.
"And he continued:
"Oh please don't (I hope she's a heavy single drinker), and more to take off before I cream her.
"See to me, those texts sound like something two GUYS would text each other, not something a boyfriend should be texting to his girlfriend :| At least it's not what I'd expect anyway! I think you need to talk to him. Stop worrying about whether he'll leave you - if he did, he's obviously not worth your time. You're clearly unhappy about the situation and it's not gonna do your relationship any good if you're fretting about what he may or may not be getting up to.
Original post by KrispyKatieKreme
No.
He can hit me (sexually) all he wants, just not any other girl.
But it being an LDR, he can't 'hit me' that much.
How can I make that up to him?
He can hit me (sexually) all he wants, just not any other girl.
But it being an LDR, he can't 'hit me' that much.
How can I make that up to him?
There's nothing wrong with banter, joking about liking other girls and stuff but he sounds abit excessive with it in my opinion
girl, he creepy
Original post by KrispyKatieKreme
No.
He can hit me (sexually) all he wants, just not any other girl.
But it being an LDR, he can't 'hit me' that much.
How can I make that up to him?
He can hit me (sexually) all he wants, just not any other girl.
But it being an LDR, he can't 'hit me' that much.
How can I make that up to him?
If you trust him to keep them to himself, you could send some naughty pictures of yourself? If you don't do that already. Only that way it's something sexual you can do from far away and remind him if the hottie he's got. And maybe when you're going to see him soon you could tell him that he can request one specific item - like a whip, or a corset, or whipped cream, or stockings or whatever - that you'll bring to spice up your sex in person. Generally stuff that will keep you on his mind and make sure he's looking forward to seeing you.
As for whether or not you should be worried - based on what you've said about his personality, probably not. But I'd be uncomfortable if it were my bf saying stuff like that about other girls, even though I know he's devoted to me. It's a bit disrespectful, in my opinion.
Original post by >Anna<
I would not be cool with that. A bit of teasing is fine, but he pushed it a bit far. Try to talk to him without coming across as really insecure (don't keep going on about how you think he'll leave you). In my experience, guys often like it if you get a little jealous...it's like their way of testing that you care.
esachica
See to me, those texts sound like something two GUYS would text each other, not something a boyfriend should be texting to his girlfriend :| At least it's not what I'd expect anyway! I think you need to talk to him. Stop worrying about whether he'll leave you - if he did, he's obviously not worth your time. You're clearly unhappy about the situation and it's not gonna do your relationship any good if you're fretting about what he may or may not be getting up to.
PapaShmurff
There's nothing wrong with banter, joking about liking other girls and stuff but he sounds abit excessive with it in my opinion
I'm honestly not too worried about him talking about other girls like that. He's the type that would never cheat, and he told me straight away afterwards that he loved me and saw me as prettier than all of those girls. Plus, I used to flirt/banter with (friend) guys, to their face, and though i've never cheated either, mine was worse and could have been seen as leading on (but they were friends and it was all jokes), so I can't blame him, nor will I, because he's perfectly innocent.
I'm actually surprised he's still with me, but thanks for the input.
My biggest concern is here in post 4:
The thing that bothers me is he does so much for me, I've had so many personal and family problems, and he's always been there, and I can't do anything for him or to re-pay him.
What can I do more for him? What do guys want? And how do I give it in an LDR, especially when I can't see/talk on phone much because of my family and their restrictions/limitations?
That's why i'm most scared he's guna leave me - I make him go through so much for me, and he just does it, without reward.
What shall I do for him to show him that I really do love him and appreciate everything?
What can I do more for him? What do guys want? And how do I give it in an LDR, especially when I can't see/talk on phone much because of my family and their restrictions/limitations?
That's why i'm most scared he's guna leave me - I make him go through so much for me, and he just does it, without reward.
What shall I do for him to show him that I really do love him and appreciate everything?
Original post by Blueflare
Bantersaurus rex.
He could be kidding, but I were you I would speak to him about it and ask him not so say stuff like that anymore. It's awkward.
He could be kidding, but I were you I would speak to him about it and ask him not so say stuff like that anymore. It's awkward.
This.
Original post by KrispyKatieKreme
He's just jokey about everything though, I guess I will talk to him, but it doesn't bother me (much).
The thing that bothers me is he does so much for me, I've had so many personal and family problems, and he's always been there, and I can't do anything for him or to re-pay him.
What can I do more for him? What do guys want? And how do I give it in an LDR, especially when I can't see/talk on phone much because of my family and their restrictions/limitations?
That's why i'm most scared he's guna leave me - I make him go through so much for me, and he just does it, without reward.
What shall I do for him to show him that I really do love him and appreciate everything?
The thing that bothers me is he does so much for me, I've had so many personal and family problems, and he's always been there, and I can't do anything for him or to re-pay him.
What can I do more for him? What do guys want? And how do I give it in an LDR, especially when I can't see/talk on phone much because of my family and their restrictions/limitations?
That's why i'm most scared he's guna leave me - I make him go through so much for me, and he just does it, without reward.
What shall I do for him to show him that I really do love him and appreciate everything?
Spend more time with him. Ask him for a meet soon or better yet, surprise him at his workplace. And maybe pre-plan a weekend. Obviously sex him up during said weekend.
Original post by KrispyKatieKreme
I'm honestly not too worried about him talking about other girls like that. He's the type that would never cheat, and he told me straight away afterwards that he loved me and saw me as prettier than all of those girls. Plus, I used to flirt/banter with (friend) guys, to their face, and though i've never cheated either, mine was worse and could have been seen as leading on (but they were friends and it was all jokes), so I can't blame him, nor will I, because he's perfectly innocent.
I'm actually surprised he's still with me, but thanks for the input.
My biggest concern is here in post 4:
I'm actually surprised he's still with me, but thanks for the input.
My biggest concern is here in post 4:
Are you really, honestly not bothered? I can't help but feel you must be, at least a bit, because otherwise why would you write about it on here?
Spring a surprise visit on him?
Original post by Chromatic Bass
If you trust him to keep them to himself, you could send some naughty pictures of yourself? If you don't do that already. Only that way it's something sexual you can do from far away and remind him if the hottie he's got. And maybe when you're going to see him soon you could tell him that he can request one specific item - like a whip, or a corset, or whipped cream, or stockings or whatever - that you'll bring to spice up your sex in person. Generally stuff that will keep you on his mind and make sure he's looking forward to seeing you.
As for whether or not you should be worried - based on what you've said about his personality, probably not. But I'd be uncomfortable if it were my bf saying stuff like that about other girls, even though I know he's devoted to me. It's a bit disrespectful, in my opinion.
As for whether or not you should be worried - based on what you've said about his personality, probably not. But I'd be uncomfortable if it were my bf saying stuff like that about other girls, even though I know he's devoted to me. It's a bit disrespectful, in my opinion.
Thanks for the response.
But lol, I guess I could send him naughty pictures, but I don't think I could get myself to be comfortable with that. Any idea on how? It's not that I don't trust him, it's just... weird. I show him my bra/cleavage, I just can't go any further.
And we can't go to each others houses (our parents have no idea and would kill us) so whipping, etc, out in public? :/
He doesn't get his uni room until September so until then, there's not much we can do alone, unless it's like in a tent or something, but I want to give him more, just not sure what or how, doesn't have to be sexual, I could buy him something, maybe.
He either thinks you're bi or he wants an orgy.
Either way tl;dr :L
Either way tl;dr :L
Hmmm OP i think you have a very steady strong relationship, the fact that he is comfortablt enough with you to send you those kind of messages is in some way a strength. He believes you wont fly off the handle about him admitting to looking at other women which is something many women would do. (and lets face it we're human, we are going to look both men and women are guilty of this)
However it is a bit too much and too heavy, no matter how secure a relationsip there are boundries and talking about creampieing a girl is a bit of a no no. So just tell him to tone it down a bit and him how he would feel if you sent him a text about how you saw a guy today and wanted to taste his cum. Its the same thing,
However it is a bit too much and too heavy, no matter how secure a relationsip there are boundries and talking about creampieing a girl is a bit of a no no. So just tell him to tone it down a bit and him how he would feel if you sent him a text about how you saw a guy today and wanted to taste his cum. Its the same thing,
If he cares about you that much I doubt he will leave you, maybe organise a visit in advance, like a weekend or something.
Original post by KrispyKatieKreme
Thanks for the response.
But lol, I guess I could send him naughty pictures, but I don't think I could get myself to be comfortable with that. Any idea on how? It's not that I don't trust him, it's just... weird. I show him my bra/cleavage, I just can't go any further.
And we can't go to each others houses (our parents have no idea and would kill us) so whipping, etc, out in public? :/
He doesn't get his uni room until September so until then, there's not much we can do alone, unless it's like in a tent or something, but I want to give him more, just not sure what or how, doesn't have to be sexual, I could buy him something, maybe.
But lol, I guess I could send him naughty pictures, but I don't think I could get myself to be comfortable with that. Any idea on how? It's not that I don't trust him, it's just... weird. I show him my bra/cleavage, I just can't go any further.
And we can't go to each others houses (our parents have no idea and would kill us) so whipping, etc, out in public? :/
He doesn't get his uni room until September so until then, there's not much we can do alone, unless it's like in a tent or something, but I want to give him more, just not sure what or how, doesn't have to be sexual, I could buy him something, maybe.
Ah, when you said about having sex (though infrequently) I assumed you had somewhere you could go to "get it on".
Naughty pics can be in your lingerie - often that's sexier. Set your camera on self-timer and pose on the bed. But if you wouldn't be comfortable with that, then don't do it.
Ok, thoughtful rather than sexual: If you want to let him know how much he means to you, maybe buy a nice notebook and fill it with times when he's made you happy, like sweet things he's said, things he's given you that you particularly like, times he's supported you, stuff like that. And you could do little illustrations too. Or collate some photos of the two of you together and make a collage.
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