How to convince parents to let you live away at university.

To cut a long story short, I'm going to be taking out a student loan, and I just got an conditional offer, my fourth offer so far :biggrin:

. But my parents are moaning about me having to come back home every weekend... I don't know what to do, they're the typical Asian parents, and convincing them to let me apply away from home was hard enough, now they want me to come back home every weekend. Did I mention that I'd be taking out loans to cover for my accommodation?

Anyways, how do I convince them to let me stay at the university halls instead of coming back home every week?

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Reply 1

sunny_veggies

How far away? To start you'd have additional travel costs to get home and back every weekend.
It might affect your study
You couldnt get a weekend job to start/help repay your loans
Any help?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Well the thing is the university is 2 and a half hours away on train! I really want to live at halls, but they just seem soooo controlling at the moment, it's unbelievable.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

The university is 2hours and 28 minutes away on train :s-smilie:

Reply 4

emeleh

Just convince them that economically it's better for you to stay there during term time?

Reply 5

Jellybean91

tell them if they want to pay for your travel costs then you will (they dont have to know if you decide to travel first class :tongue:

)

Reply 6

gm15

"Let" you? You are an adult; its your choice.

Reply 7

TheLloyd

Just don't go home? You will be living your own life, nothing they can do about it. Get a restraining order against your parents.

Reply 8

Kiyoko

Since they aren't paying for it, its not their decision. Problem solved. =]

Reply 9

deathbeforeimmortality

Just apply away and that's it. I'm sure, come results day and you have a place at a far away uni which is decent, your parents will be fine.

Reply 10

Lack of Creativity

You need to stand your ground here. You're an adult. Tell them it's your life and your education.

Reply 11

xoxAngel_Kxox

Agree with them for now, and then you won't be able to come home for the first couple of weeks because there will still be freshers events.. then they might realise that it's unrealistic for you to go home every weekend.

You should go maybe once a month, or once every three weeks though- compromise :smile:

Reply 12

M1F2R3

Go in halls, it's wild.

Reply 13

im so academic

Original post by Anonymous

Well the thing is the university is 2 and a half hours away on train! I really want to live at halls, but they just seem soooo controlling at the moment, it's unbelievable.

Go to a university farther away than that?

E.g. if you live in London, go to St Andrews. I'd like to see your parents say you have to come back every bloody week from there. :rolleyes:

Where do you live and what unis did you apply for?

Reply 14

Converse

Just agree, but don't follow through when it comes to actually doing it.

Reply 15

SkyNinja

You cant understand asian parents until you have them. My parents are like you have to go by train everyday otherwise youre not going university. I just dont answer as there is no point in arguing back. Soon when i start they will realise thats its impossible for me to do the uni work, and have a routine like that when my university is like 1 hour 30 minutes away by train.

Reply 16

teshnit

Just say your paying for accommodation for 7 days a week, to not make use of it 2-3/7 days is quite a percentage, also added to the cost of leaving friday/sat and coming back sunday/mon. My parents are Indian, so originally they were like why not choose to go Leicester uni and stay here, told them no I'm going away, need to get out and experience life etc etc, then sent off my application without leic so they didn't say much about it after, and when it came to coming home i told them possibly a few times every few months and they were like thats not enough, and then they realised they dont really have much of a choice when i told them fine get my me own car (im insured on parents car atm)... Not to mention TIME! wasting time on trains is time you could "studying/working/blah" (doesn't really need to be studying ofc)

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

I've already got a conditional offer from the university, they want CCDD, including General Studies, so the grades aren't the problem. £40 on a train there and back, plus the wasted accommodation fees would come around to £100+ wasted a week. It's just that they think that everything, and seriously, I mean it when I say everything will go wrong. As in, I'll get kidnapped or raped or whatever. I've had a few family members who've gone to University and got mixed in with the "wrong crowd", so I just need a way to let me stay at university over the weekend. They said that I'll be allowed to stay there when tests and exams come up, but I would love to stay there.

I've never really been an outgoing person, I don't really go out with people or friends, not that I find it hard to make friends or anything, I'm a happy and joking person, I just want some independence you know. Oh, and I'm meant to be at bed by 9-10pm everyday and come back to halls straight after my lectures finish and only stick to the friends that I know from 6th form, which is very little, if any. I just made that up to ease their tension, but what should I do? They've slightly eased up in the last hour or so, but any more tips or advice? Honestly, you guys give cracking advice, I just used it and I actually got through to both of them :smile:

Reply 18

gm15

Original post by gm15

"Let" you? You are an adult; its your choice.

Apparently this deserved 2 negs? All i said was that it was his choice not theirs.
And somebody else told him to get a restraining order out against his parents and got no negs
(not saying the OP neged)

Reply 19

teshnit

Tell them if you cant socialise at the weekends and make new friends, it will cause you detrimental affect towards your degree, for example who will want to share a house with you if you don't socialise in first year, you'll have to end up renting with randomers, which by the sounds of it is a problem for your parents with you being around "new people"