Stop being so intrusive! :@

Please keep anon as he maybe a member on here. Here is the scenario:

A invited me to this party. I said "I would think about it". I didn't go in the end. A still talks to me and seems to have no problem, in fact it is arisen in any conversation.

However B, has a problem. He questioned me, out of the blue, as to why I didn't go to the party? I said I couldn't go to the party at that day. B kept on asking why. I was startled and felt it was quite intrusive to ask me why I did not attend. I kept silent and just allowed him to explode, he states how I don't make the effort, not putting the effort to being friends, I don't care, and how they never see me. At this he invites C along. She sits and agrees and nods and saying "that is true".

I view them as friends.I have made the effort as I have always help them. I been nice to them. The main reason why I avoid them, is because of the intrusive questions and how the conversation revolves around me. I don't like it. I avoid them.

I have not been to other friend's parties (those knew me longer than they have) and they have not posed questions or exploded in a rant.

I don't get it.

I suppose this is more of a rant.

Reply 1

rogreg8

What would you like me to say, life's a bitch ? :biggrin:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

it is not arisen in any conversation.*

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by rogreg8

What would you like me to say, life's a bitch ? :biggrin:

loool you can say that again. Life is a bitch.

Reply 4

RELAXED

It sounds as if B and C are perhaps slightly feeling like you're not making a lot of effort to be better friends with them.

If you want the complaints to stop I suggest you stick up for yourself more, and respond to the criticism if possible.
Maybe make an effort to talk to them more?

Actually this is a problem I sometimes have with people, because I quite like my own space sometimes and some folks don't like it.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by RELAXED

How can I be better friends? I have gone out of my way and helped them, talked to them etc... What more do they want? Yes, I was invited to A's party. But I couldn't come. I don't need to tell them why. It is not going to impact their lives.

I think they want me to be more open. I always been private. I do find their questions very personal and intrusive. I never experienced it before so I don't know how to react.

Stick up for myself- I am not the most confident person. I am quiet normally.

Reply 6

RELAXED

Original post by Anonymous

How can I be better friends? I have gone out of my way and helped them, talked to them etc... What more do they want?

The first thing I want to ask you now is: why are you being defensive? You are defending something. I reckon it's your shyness. Why would you defend your shyness? I'm just asking you this to help you think seriously about who you are. Hasn't you shyness held you back enough already?

I'm pointing this out because if you want to change your shyness, you need to change your thinking... I'm not writing to this to annoy you, but actually hopefully to help you see things in a better way.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by RELAXED

I am sorry if I came across agressive and defensive.
I admit I am shy, quiet, lack confidence and self-esteem.
I am not comfortable with all these questions. I feel these questions are unnecessary as they are not going to impact anyone. It is not their concern. I feel very uneasy and uncomfortable. I don't like avoiding people, with them, I do.