The Student Room Group

Sexuals. Describe desire...

How would you describe sexual desire if you were explaining it to someone who's never felt it? Not sex itself, but sexual attraction? Not the basic physical reactions associated with arousal but your own perception of what it feels like.

I ask because an asexual, while sex itself is something I am fairly neutral towards, sexual attraction is fairly baffling.



Yes, I realise this thread could turn into inadvertent troll bait, but lets hold out a little hope, shall we?

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Reply 1
Original post by bluegeek
How would you describe sexual desire if you were explaining it to someone who's never felt it? Not sex itself, but sexual attraction? Not the basic physical reactions associated with arousal but your own perception of what it feels like.

I ask because an asexual, while sex itself is something I am fairly neutral towards, sexual attraction is fairly baffling.



Yes, I realise this thread could turn into inadvertent troll bait, but lets hold out a little hope, shall we?


:lolwut:
How could I describe it?

Pre-cum + a huge erection......
Reply 3
I have no idea either. Wow, that was an unnecessary comment.
Reply 4
Unless you are under the age of 13, I'd be worried as to where your life is heading.
Sexual desire = a desire to have sex.

Can't really simplify it further.
Reply 6
This ':sexface:' explains it all really.
Original post by bluegeek
How would you describe sexual desire if you were explaining it to someone who's never felt it? Not sex itself, but sexual attraction? Not the basic physical reactions associated with arousal but your own perception of what it feels like.

I ask because an asexual, while sex itself is something I am fairly neutral towards, sexual attraction is fairly baffling.



Yes, I realise this thread could turn into inadvertent troll bait, but lets hold out a little hope, shall we?


Wanting to **** someone's brains out.
Reply 8
Original post by Wahaaaay
Unless you are under the age of 13, I'd be worried as to where your life is heading.


One could suggest that it was leading further than most, as it's likely asexuals won't be 'distracted' as much by the milieu of life.

It's likely the OP just has a low sex drive, rather than a non-existant one anyway, so no need to be so apocalyptic, nor quite so rude.
It feels as though an ice cube has frozen my nipples before melting in my pants. Simples! *meerkat noise*
Reply 10
Original post by Mann18
One could suggest that it was leading further than most, as it's likely asexuals won't be 'distracted' as much by the milieu of life.

It's likely the OP just has a low sex drive, rather than a non-existant one anyway, so no need to be so apocalyptic, nor quite so rude.


Kind comment, thank-you.

I'd say though that asexuals can and do tend to have sex drives, simply that not being attracted to either gender - think of it as simply being the opposite of bisexual in that sense - they tend to have little interest in satisfying those needs with others.
Reply 11
Original post by bluegeek
Kind comment, thank-you.

I'd say though that asexuals can and do tend to have sex drives, simply that not being attracted to either gender - think of it as simply being the opposite of bisexual in that sense - they tend to have little interest in satisfying those needs with others.


Ah right. So asexuals still have sexual urges, but prefer to deal with them "in-house" rather than with anyone else?
Reply 12
Original post by Mann18
Ah right. So asexuals still have sexual urges, but prefer to deal with them "in-house" rather than with anyone else?


Some do, others don't. It all depends on the person.

Think of it as... a heterosexual in an isolated same-sex environment. Those that have drives - of whatever level - will either abstain, see to it themselves or experiment with partners depending on their personality.

There's no single homogenous approach as it were.
Original post by shorty.loves.angels
It feels as though an ice cube has frozen my nipples before melting in my pants. Simples! *meerkat noise*


Oh Shorty, that is such a beautiful way of putting it. Brings a tear to my eye.
How to describe sexual desire...

Thinking 'wow, they're hot'. Wanting to touch and be close to that person. Closing your eyes and fantasising about them. Feeling a 'stirring' in the crotch area. Sending them all kinds of signals to indicate your desires.

It's a messy process.
"I duuno... but whenever I see her I just wanna... you know... I wanna... undress her... I wanna tie her up... I wanna pump her... oh... pump, pump, pump... until she screams bloody murder and then I wanna... flip her ass over and... and pump her ever more... so hard that my dick shoots right through her and that my cum squirts out of her mouth..."

(Bonus cookie for whoever tells me what I'm quoting)
Reply 16
Sexual desire is a very personalised experience, but I find that I feel several different kinds of sexual desire.

First of all is pure sexual lust. In this case, I see a woman (or occasionally man) I find attractive and will fantasise about them. These fantasies will give me a 'rush' that will last for up to an hour and if I really concentrate, these fantasies can become elaborate transcendental experiences, even when there is no maturbation. I feel an internal heat when I feel the spark of lust and this is there even when the physical side (i.e. an erection) isn't present.

Secondly, I feel a different sexual desire for women I care about emotionally. In this case, I will have less of the obvious physical signs of lust but the 'heat' I described previously will be even more intense, accompanied by a tender feeling in my heart and an urge to kiss or fondle the person. This creates a tension which will build and build and usually only releases when I have sex with the person. This is a rarer experience for me that I only feel when I am in a caring and emotional relationship with another person.

These feelings are very hard to put into words as I have discovered when trying to write about desire before but I hope I have illuminated you.
That's an interesting question. It's hard to describe. (I'm a girl btw)

Hmm. Sort of like feeling pulled towards someone. You want to get closer. You fantasise about what it would be like to get more physical, even in small ways. I look at people I'm attracted to differently - focus on the face more, especially eyes and lips. And the skin. You take in smaller details, and notice things you haven't seen before. Sometimes your heart skips a beat when you see them.

It's exciting. Your heart rate speeds up, you breathe more quickly, you feel a lot warmer and start sweating more. Plus other obvious physical reactions :wink:
Original post by i.am.lost
How to describe sexual desire...

Thinking 'wow, they're hot'. Wanting to touch and be close to that person. Closing your eyes and fantasising about them. Feeling a 'stirring' in the crotch area. Sending them all kinds of signals to indicate your desires.

It's a messy process.


Messy is a good word for it. Chemical/hormonal is good too. Really strong desire makes you completely irrational but very goal-oriented, if you know what I mean. You stop taking notice of your surroundings, your resoning is impaired but most of the time you don't mind because it's a very positive feeling. Your stomache (and below) tingles, you feel happy and desperate and the same time. You want touch just like a hungry person wants food, a tired person wants sleep or a person with an itch wants a good scratch, except instead of negative motivators it's a positive one. And it's all targeted towards- and amplified by another person.

It's like when you really crave chocolate and can't stop thinking about it, but 10 times worse and sexual.
Reply 19
Original post by vhvhvh
Sexual desire is a very personalised experience, but I find that I feel several different kinds of sexual desire.

First of all is pure sexual lust. In this case, I see a woman (or occasionally man) I find attractive and will fantasise about them. These fantasies will give me a 'rush' that will last for up to an hour and if I really concentrate, these fantasies can become elaborate transcendental experiences, even when there is no maturbation. I feel an internal heat when I feel the spark of lust and this is there even when the physical side (i.e. an erection) isn't present.

Secondly, I feel a different sexual desire for women I care about emotionally. In this case, I will have less of the obvious physical signs of lust but the 'heat' I described previously will be even more intense, accompanied by a tender feeling in my heart and an urge to kiss or fondle the person. This creates a tension which will build and build and usually only releases when I have sex with the person. This is a rarer experience for me that I only feel when I am in a caring and emotional relationship with another person.

These feelings are very hard to put into words as I have discovered when trying to write about desire before but I hope I have illuminated you.


I am so sorry i neg reped you. I wanted to give you positive rep but my stupid laser mouse didn't let this happen. so just so you know that neg rep should be positive. again sorry, feel free to neg rep me back

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