I hurt someone I love badly - when does the guilt go away?

I lied-ish. I wanted to be with a beautiful wonderful girl to fill a void.

I lied, I manipulated. I 'loved' her intensely. She loved me back for a while, she wanted to be with me but something changed her mind - thank goodness.

We loved each other as friends but I continued to hurt her and she put up with it.

She changed me for the better.

I cam clean today via email - she's in another country at the moment.

I've hurt her so many times. This time I'm telling the whole truth but I don't know whether she'll know me after she's read it.

It felt good at first when I wrote it. I was 'clean' again.

But now I feel so bad that I've betrayed her. She must be so hurt. :frown:

What should I do?

Thanks for reading this.

When you man up!

What do you mean you hurt her? Your friend? I'm lost...

Reply 3

RoshniDiya

1

This sounds more like poetry than an explanation lol, i am lost also.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

My bad.

I kept not talking to her because I couldn't just 'be friends'... then I would call up a month later etc. This hurt her because we were very close. Best friends in many ways. I would always have 'episodes' of not being able to be friends over a period of 18 months.

I brought up the past a lot. Didn't let go. It was pathetic and I don't know how she put up with it.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by missderrie

What do you mean you hurt her? Your friend? I'm lost...

Original post by RoshniDiya

This sounds more like poetry than an explanation lol, i am lost also.

I told her about all the times I tried to manipulate her into wanting to be with me. For example... I bought her Swarovsky necklace and told her that I'd be happy for her if she met someone. When I didn't mean it. I told her everything.

Reply 6

RoshniDiya

1

Oh, i see what you mean. I'm sure she'll appreciate you coming clean to her, most people wouldn't bother doing that. And you have a pretty good chance she'll forgive you, especially if she still likes you. You sound like a nice guy whose intentions weren't to hurt her, but you were just confused yourself. Is that right?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by RoshniDiya

Oh, i see what you mean. I'm sure she'll appreciate you coming clean to her, most people wouldn't bother doing that. And you have a pretty good chance she'll forgive you, especially if she still likes you. You sound like a nice guy whose intentions weren't to hurt her, but you were just confused yourself. Is that right?

I definitely didn't set out to hurt her. I guess I was confused. The source of my need for her was very toxic. I genuinely want the best for her now. It feels like I've lost that person I needed (for the wrong reasons) and now I want to get to know her again - if she gives me the chance.

Reply 8

RoshniDiya

1

Original post by Anonymous

I definitely didn't set out to hurt her. I guess I was confused. The source of my need for her was very toxic. I genuinely want the best for her now. It feels like I've lost that person I needed (for the wrong reasons) and now I want to get to know her again - if she gives me the chance.

Urrm... you sound like my friend. But i know you're not, because he never got me a necklace haha. So, i can tell you that if you explained yourself fully then this girl will understand that your intentions weren't bad. The most important thing is that you genuinely care for her and cared enough to even email her. If she's a nice girl, which i assume she is or you'd not like her so much, she'll adore you for being so honest. If you get the chance to be best friends with her again, hopefully you'll both be honest and open from here on in.

I hurt someone I love badly - when does the guilt go away?

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