anyone over 30 still a virgin?

Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

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meatzaper

wow youre 25 and a virgin?

yes i havent done oral or anal either i was hoping to save everything only for my husband but he doesnt seem to be around anytime soon, and most guys are put off by my beliefs. i still am trusting in the Lord to provide me with a husband, hopefully sometime soon before i go nuts and start humping lampposts and eyeing up marrows in tescos.

Reply 81

Anonymous #3

Original post by spazman21

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1788363.ece

I'd give her one

Reply 82

Neil_K

Original post by alexaj

A little tip for you, Neil.

A little tip for me? You don't need to give ME any tips about women I can assure you....

Original post by alexaj

Men aren't suddenly more attractive to women when they're older because of their looks. Very few men look better with age when they're losing their hair and gaining their beer bellies.

Never said it had anything to do with looks. In fact, if you've read any of my previous posts, you'll see I've discussed this before.

Women are not attracted to men who are merely good-looking. Women are attracted to men who are ATTRACTIVE. There is a huge difference. Good looks are a small part of it....being ATTRACTIVE is about the person as a whole.

Attraction is not the same for men and women. Men, primarily, and initially are attracted to a woman's looks. But for women, it is a man's intrinsic personality and confidence that determines whether he is attractive to women or not.

As men get older, they tend to become more mature, more confident, more masculine and develop a more mature all round personality....traits that women find attractive in a man, and this is why women tend to find older men more attractive. Women don't like older men because of their looks....they like older men for their personality traits and maturity.

Original post by alexaj

They're more attractive because of their MONEY and the security that brings.

No, money alone doesn't make a man ATTRACTIVE. Being attractive is about who he is AS A PERSON.

As a man, HAVING MONEY and BEING ATTRACTIVE are two entirely different things.

Money simply 'attracts' MANIPULATIVE WOMEN, but it attracts them for all the wrong reasons. Manipulative women will date guys who they don't find attractive/who they don't like, if he has money.

A guy could have money, but not be attractive. Or a guy could be attractive, but not have money. Or a guy could both have money and be attractive (such guys are rare....usually men with a lot of money are guys who can only get women because of their money and not for their personality, therefore have to use their money to compensate for what they lack in attractiveness).

Original post by alexaj

I found your post quite bitter to be honest as well as patronising and using sweeping generalisations as facts. There is a market for older women and plenty of websites cater for it. Behold the generation of cougars.

I pride myself on truth and keeping things real. I didn't make things the way they are....it's not MY fault that women age faster than men etc, so if you're bitter about that then don't blame ME....

And most older women aren't 'cougars'. That's only a small percentage of older women.

Are you a guy or a girl by the way?

Reply 83

harrietta

Original post by drpetergriffin

shouldnt really be on this website if you are over 30

Because everyone goes to uni between the ages of 18-21 :rolleyes:

getting neg because i'm stating a fact that not ALL students are under 30. Jesus!

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 84

insoms

Original post by Neil_K

This is that the problem a lot of women who are 'too picky' in their younger years have....as soon as they get into their late 20s/early 30s and beyond, their appeal to men rapidly diminishes. They then start getting desperate because men stop paying them as much attention.

Women have a much smaller time-frame in order to attract a man. And all the games women play in their late teens and early 20s don't work when they get into their 30s. 40s etc.

It's admirable that you have stuck to your own beliefs/morals regarding sex, but reality is, what has it gotten you? No men. No sex. And now you're at an age where you're starting to get desperate for male attention and sex, and in reality it's going to be harder to find a guy once you get over 30.

If you don't start having sex soon, your opportunities are going to diminish rapidly as you get into your 30s and beyond; you will no longer be the 'chooser', you will no longer have the choice you had in your early 20s.

Once a woman's looks start to fade, her opportunities for male attention will dry up.

That's why I cringe when women in their late teens to mid 20s are 'picky with men'...they think they will always have men chasing them, but really once they get past their prime, male attention will calm down and these women will be lonely and desperate middle aged women who will take any man who shows them attention. I've seen it all before...these younger women who are 'strong and independent' and 'don't need a man'....then they get a bit older and realise that they can no longer attract men as easily, and they get really desperate for male attention.

Men, on the other hand, get better and more attractive to women with age and therefore we don't have this problem.

It's not because their tactic is wrong or something. It's because its nigh on impossible to find someone you gel that well with for alot of people. The only difference is the majority of girls that can't find the right guy are having alot of sex, because there's always desperate guys out there asking out loads of girls, so they have plently of oppourtunity for one night stands. Just because she doesn't want a onenightstand with some club randomer doesn't mean she's doing something wrong compared to these other girls who are unlucky with love but getting sex anyway.

The men with this problem on the otherhand can easily stay virgins for a very long time. Average Joe doesn't have girls all stalking him, whereas 'average Jane', has a few kinda annoying desperate guys trying to get her at all times and maybe a few she considers friends that harbour, either telling her this or hiding it from her, feelings for her.

So no she's not doing anything wrong, shes just not opening her legs to everyguy that comes along because shes lonely like alot of girls tragically do nowadays. Ask a female virgin how many guys have been interested in her/flirted with her/confessed feelings for her/maybe even blatently asked for sex. Answer will not be 0. Ask a male virgin how many girls he's had approach him AT ALL. Answer will probably be 0.

Reply 85

alexaj

Original post by Neil_K

A little tip for me? You don't need to give ME any tips about women I can assure you....

I obviously do, as you seem so blinded by bitterness that you are unable to look at male/female relationships in an unbiased way. You've obviously had some bad experiences and now instead of looking at women as individuals, we're all part of one mass with the same tastes, ideals and biases.

Original post by Neil_K

In fact, if you've read any of my previous posts, you'll see I've discussed this before.

Why would I have read any of your previous posts? You had one post on one thread that I responded to. No need to. But now that you bring it up, I've found some pearls of wisdom you've imparted such as:

Original post by Neil_K

Women tend to keep guys who they're not sexually attracted to around as 'friends' because they can use these men for favours such as free dinners, gifts, flattering attention, free lifts to places, monetary favours, free lunches, free drinks on nights out, or so they have someone to add to their Facebook, talk to on Facebook/msn, so they have someone to text when they're bored, and so they have a 'nice guy' to talk to about their problems or to rant about the 'jerk' that they're sleeping with etc, or simply for flattering attention.

and regarding the girls on TSR:

Original post by Neil_K

They're rude because they think that their ***** are more valuable than our cocks. They have to realize they aren't!

as well as making fun of the way some girls look on 5th Avenue and girls without make-up.

What a charmer.

Original post by Neil_K

Women are not attracted to men who are merely good-looking.

What absolute BS. Of course there are PLENTY of girls who are attracted to men merely because of their looks. Go out any Saturday night and the lads pulling the most girls are the good looking ones. Nothing to do with their jobs/personality. When a girl is after a one-night stand the best looking guy she can attract will do.

AND I'm a fan of Cosmopolitan, it's my favourite women's magazine. And there's a naked centrefold every other month. And who's in the centrefold? It's not Lord Sugar, it's not Jonathan Ross or Charlie Brooker. There's Shane Ward, Gavin Henson, Jesse Metcalfe. Many women lust after good looking men and to pretend all women are more interested in "personality" or "confidence" is disingenuous.

Original post by Neil_K

I didn't make things the way they are....it's not MY fault that women age faster than men etc, so if you're bitter about that then don't blame ME....

And most older women aren't 'cougars'. That's only a small percentage of older women.

Women don't age faster than men. That's a bit of a ridiculous statement. They age at the exact same time being the same species and all... And if you're implying that men age better than women, then I disagree with that. The cosmatics industry also begs to differ if only because women have the means to hide their aging better.

I'm not bitter about getting older because I'm not old. And if I went for much younger men myself, I wouldn't be a cougar I'd be a paedophile. BUT I just need to air my disagreement with practically everything you've said because not only is it not factually correct, it's not coming from a good place.

I never said the majority of older women are cougars. I merely pointed out the increasing popularity of older women/younger man realtionships which I applaud.

You're trying to argue for some dated and sexist notions which are may be true in YOUR experience, but it isn't true in mine. I love "Mad Men" as much as the next person but I don't make it my life philosophy. Men and women aren't so completely different from each other. Some women go for looks. Some men are less concerned with looks. It's different strokes for different folks.

ETA: I have a group of (female) friends. One is absolutely cute as a button, really really pretty and very shy. One is blonde and quirky looking, with a quirky personality. One is not very pretty at all, wears hand-me-downs from previous boyfriends but is the life and soul of the party with bags of confidence and 'swagger'. In the course of a year, it was the confident one who gets hit on about roughly 5x more than the pretty one, and at least 2x more than the quirky one. Not all men are as shallow as you've painted them, either. A lot do go for personality rather than just looks.

And for the attention of the thread-starter: I hear from people regretting rushing into their first time all the time. I've never heard anyone regret waiting. Just something to think about.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 86

Neil_K

Original post by alexaj

I'm not bitter at all. Not in the slightest. Just because I point out a few facts, for example that women have a smaller window of opportunity than men in order to attract the opposite sex, doesn't mean I'm bitter. It just means I'm pointing out reality.

The only person who is bitter is you, because you can't face reality that women age faster than men. You can't face the fact that the truth about your gender has been exposed by me. If you can't handle reality, that's your problem. But I'm in no way bitter at all. I like and respect women (provided they show me the same courtesy in return).

I always look at male/female relationships in an unbiased way. I pride myself on NO BULL**** and keeping things real and honest.

Original post by alexaj

Why would I have read any of your previous posts? You had one post on one thread that I responded to. No need to.

You can read my previous posts for clarification on some of the points you are confused about. For example the next point....

Original post by alexaj

What absolute BS. Of course there are PLENTY of girls who are attracted to men merely because of their looks.

I beg to differ. Good looks on a man will only get a girl's attention INITIALLY. But good looks alone are not enough to SUSTAIN a girl's attraction. There has to be something more than looks there for a girl to want to be with a guy in the longer-term.

For example, let's take 2 guys. One is good looking but lacks confidence, the other is not good looking but has boatloads of confidence. Who do you think will do better with women in the long-term?

The good looking guy may attract attention from females....but as soon as they spend time with him and get to know him, he will be history and they will lose interest.

The other, less good-looking, guy may not initially get as much female attention, but given a little bit of time in the company of females, he will ultimately be more attractive to them and be able to keep this attraction going longer than a guy who is merely good looking but lacks confidence.

I've been over this point NUMEROUS TIME BEFORE in previous threads. I don't like repeating the same thing over and over again. This is why I said to you to read my previous posts so you can clarify these points for yourself.

Original post by alexaj

Go out any Saturday night and the lads pulling the most girls are the good looking ones. Nothing to do with their jobs/personality. When a girl is after a one-night stand the best looking guy she can attract will do.

It's not the good looking lads alone who pull women in the nightclubs. It's the guys who have the MOST CONFIDENCE who pull. It's the guys who have the confidence to approach women and talk to them that pull in clubs (or anywhere, for that matter).

You obviously don't have much experience of nightclubs if you think this is true. Go to any nightclub and you'll see that most guys are too scared to approach the women. Especially in the beginning of the night. Most guys stand around with their mates, holding their beer, staring at the girls. As people get a bit more drunk, some guys try and approach girls when they've got a bit of 'dutch courage' in them (and usually fail because they make an idiot of themselves).

A good looking guy with confidence to approach lots of women will pull in nightclubs. An ugly or average looking guy with confidence to approach lots of women will pull in nightclubs.

But a good looking guy with no confidence who is too scared to approach girls is unlikely to pull in a nightclub. Equally, an ugly or average looking guy with no confidence is unlikely to pull.

The thing that determines whether a guy pulls is his confidence and personality and his willingness to approach girls, not merely his looks. I won't say that good looks don't help a guy's cause....but good looks alone without confidence are simply not enough.

Original post by alexaj

AND I'm a fan of Cosmopolitan, it's my favourite women's magazine. And there's a naked centrefold every other month. And who's in the centrefold? It's not Lord Sugar, it's not Jonathan Ross or Charlie Brooker. There's Shane Ward, Gavin Henson, Jesse Metcalfe. Many women lust after good looking men and to pretend all women are more interested in "personality" or "confidence" is disingenuous.

Of course a woman can 'lust after' a good looking guy. I don't deny that. But as I've already said....good looks merely get a girl's attention, but are not enough to KEEP a girl's attraction if that same guy lacks confidence and personality.

Original post by alexaj

Women DO age faster than men. There can be no denying that at all. The evidence is all around you.

The bottom line: men age like fine wine, women age like milk.

Original post by alexaj

I'm not bitter about getting older because I'm not old. And if I went for much younger men myself, I wouldn't be a cougar I'd be a paedophile. BUT I just need to air my disagreement with practically everything you've said because not only is it not factually correct, it's not coming from a good place.

You haven't invalidated anything I've said. This is because everything I say is true and can be backed up by simply observing REALITY.

Original post by alexaj

You're trying to argue for some dated and sexist notions which are may be true in YOUR experience, but it isn't true in mine.

Not true. What I talk about isn't 'dated', and isn't just true for MY experience. What I state is based in REALITY. Look all around you and ACTUALLY OBSERVE LIFE and you'll see that....

1) The guys who get most women are not necessarily the best looking guys....they are the guys who have most confidence, charm and personality.

2) Women age faster than men. Not a sexist remark, it's simply the truth. Get over it and don't blame ME for this fact of life.

3) Women have a limited time frame in which they are at their peak looks wise in order to attract men.

4) Most women prefer older men. Most men prefer younger women.

Original post by alexaj

ETA: I have a group of (female) friends. One is absolutely cute as a button, really really pretty and very shy. One is blonde and quirky looking, with a quirky personality. One is not very pretty at all, wears hand-me-downs from previous boyfriends but is the life and soul of the party with bags of confidence and 'swagger'. In the course of a year, it was the confident one who gets hit on about roughly 5x more than the pretty one, and at least 2x more than the quirky one.

How do you know the girl that gets hit on is the least good looking of the two? That's for the guys to judge. She can't be that bad looking if she is doing so well with men.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

Original post by alexaj

Not all men are as shallow as you've painted them, either. A lot do go for personality rather than just looks.

It's got nothing to do with 'being shallow'. It's simply how men are wired. When we first look at a girl, the first thing that attracts us to her is her looks. That's LIFE....it's the way men are genetically made up. If that makes men 'shallow', well it's not our fault, it's just the way we're wired.

Personality comes into play once we get to know a girl. A guy can fall for a girl's personality, for sure. But in the beginning, it's a girls looks that get our attention.

You can't call men 'shallow' because they are initially attracted to a girl based on looks. It's just nature and the blueprint of life as designed by God himself (or whatever you choose to believe in). I didn't create life as it is, so don't blame ME.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 87

UKguy29

Original post by shinytoy

dude if im still a virgin at 30, and my biological clock is ticking like a time bomb and my hormones have built up so bad that i cant sleep and have carpet burns on my legs from humping my bed everynight then yeah i will need it bad with a professional hottie.

i dont know any catholics full stop. christianity in the UK is a dead cause. :frown:

Hi

Isn't masturbation a sin? .......... so your commiting a sin anyway, so what difference does it make if you have sex and commit another sin ??

As for their being no Catholics. I know 3 Catholic women, as far as i know, one gave in close to 40 and had sex, the other two are still holding out in their late 20's.

And i really, really hate hearing Catholics go on about 'i want him to respect my beliefs and not have sex till marriage' I'm not trying to offend or anything, i mean, if you get with someone with the same beliefs then fine (which is what ultimately you need to do). But if they have different beliefs, then surely it could be argued that you are not respecting his want to have sex ???

ukguy

Reply 88

UKguy29

Original post by shinytoy

why???

This is a bit harsh ...................... which btw, was in response to someone saying it must suck to be you.

I'd love to understand you, but i just can't. You say your the only young Catholic ............... so why stick with it? i just don't understand. Knowbody else does, so why do you? Ok, so going against the flow is admirable, but its usually a lonely place to be. Just join the rest of society and say sod religion?. I'm not talking about jumping into bed with guys on the first date, wait a few weeks / months by all means, but yes, your right ........... saying to a guy during one of the first few dates that you plan on waiting till marriage, is of course going to scare 100% of them away.

Reply 89

trooper6

Original post by lovely_me

I completely disagree with that. I'm sure you've heard the term 'milf' my friend.

You do realize that the ‘m’ in milf is for ‘mothers’ right? The main appeal that milf’s have to the younger man is that they are horny, easier to have casual sex with than the girls in their age group and it’s usually with nsa, although some are married seeking affairs.

Reply 90

trooper6

Original post by alexaj

There is a market for older women and plenty of websites cater for it. Behold the generation of cougars.

The cougar’s that you mention are usually in their thirty’s and if they stay fit may extend into their early forty’s. They exhibit the absolute opposite attitudes toward sexuality of someone that has protected their virginity for years.

In this forum I have seen teenage girls in ‘love’ with 35+ year old men. I have yet to see the opposite situation.

I would suggest you do a little more observing of the world around you and reread Neil_K’s post itt with a more open mind.

Reply 91

username51312

Original post by Threepigs

Lol dnt troll, everyone know Hooj is a sex god.

Sure

Hooj means penis in russian

Reply 92

trooper6

Original post by Neil_K

Just wanted to say that your post itt are the most well thought out and presented on this topic that I have seen in this forum. It is obvious to this observer that you indeed have a clear understanding of the topic plus the ability to organize and present it well. The ladies would do well to reread all your post on this subject.

Reply 93

INTJ

I've had sex! Multiple times, as well! Sometimes I had sex 6 times in one day; other times I could only manage to have some amazing sex about 4 times a day. We all have our problems, I guess.

Reply 94

Neil_K

Original post by trooper6

Thanks mate, I appreciate these comments

Original post by trooper6

In this forum I have seen teenage girls in ‘love’ with 35+ year old men. I have yet to see the opposite situation.

Exactly. When was the last time you saw a post in this forum entitled '19 year old male in love with with 36 year old woman' or '16 year old male in love with teacher', etc? I've NEVER seen that. Yet every day there seems to be a post about a girl in their late teens/early 20s who fancies some older guy, teacher, lecturer etc.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 95

shinytoy

Original post by Neil_K

Thanks mate, I appreciate these comments

Neil K, and also alexaj please can you guys make your own thread if you want to talk about how women/men age differently - it is off topic and hijacking my thread

Reply 96

shinytoy

Original post by UKguy29

Hi

1)Isn't masturbation a sin? .......... so your commiting a sin anyway, so what difference does it make if you have sex and commit another sin ??

2)As for their being no Catholics. I know 3 Catholic women, as far as i know, one gave in close to 40 and had sex, the other two are still holding out in their late 20's.

3)And i really, really hate hearing Catholics go on about 'i want him to respect my beliefs and not have sex till marriage' I'm not trying to offend or anything, i mean, if you get with someone with the same beliefs then fine (which is what ultimately you need to do). But if they have different beliefs, then surely it could be argued that you are not respecting his want to have sex ???

ukguy

hey man, werent you the dude that had a catholic gf in her late 20s with the same beliefs but you broke up? is she married now? how old is she now, and did she ever give up her beliefs? like she will surely be on the way to becoming a 40 y/o virgin! and she might never have kids!

as for your points
1) yes it is wrong because it inspires lust BUT fornication is the worst sin because it is the only sin that occurs INSIDE the physical body. I highly recommend Pope JP's 'Theology of the Body' which explains this in more detail. Also in Catholicism, marriage is sacramental, one os 7 sacraments (baptism, confirmation, communion, holy orders, extreme unction,marriage and reconciliation) - it leaves an indelible mark on the soul, so to violate this in any way you might as well not be catholic.

2) that is awesome. but you know, God helps those who help themselves. did any of them try online dating? were they all good looking well groomed and sane? if there wrent any hot young dudes in their church did they try seeking them out?

3) no, i think what those girls mean, is that they start dating a guy, tell him the beliefs and he says he is 100% fine with it. but then as weeks go on, he starts pressuring, or bullying, or mocking her, or trying to do stuff to her. but then she says 'i already told you, we need to marry first' he says 'of course honey' but secretly continues tryign to pressure her. either you accept it or you dont, and if you dont, launch off.

in my experience, i always tell guys on the 1st or 2nsd date, if not before while we are just friends. most guys WILL still dat e me and say 'yeah im fine with that, it shows good morals' but secretly do the above bullying, trying it on, pushing boundaries, because most guys think they are Gods gift and will easily seduce any virgin who has until that time resisted all other guys. :rolleyes:

alot of dudes think the girl just needs some convining from a hot dude.

once they realise they arent getting any, they do one of 3 things. 1) issue an ultimatum - either f*** or f*** off. 2) start cheating on the side thinking they will marry you the good girl, meanwhile get it elsewhre (this is the most common and all my bfs choose this one) 3) ignore you totally after the third date

still, i only need to find one nice dude. at 25, im not ready to get married. i want to travel, find myself and have a stable career and maybe a house and car. so in a couple years im gonna hardcore the online dating scene and find a nice husband and marry him within 12-18 months. score!!!! good luck to all of you whose honeymoon night is the same as every other for the past 5 years

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 97

meatzaper

Original post by shinytoy

woow well I hope you find the right guy soon... at least then our marrows will be safe :wink:

Reply 98

shinytoy

Original post by meatzaper

woow well I hope you find the right guy soon... at least then our marrows will be safe :wink:

lol!!

seriously though, if anyone else is in their mid-late twenties looking for marriage-worthy men, i suggest online dating and going where there are young catholics. i havent done these things because in my heart im not ready to look after a husband. i like being single, running late, sleeping in at weekends, putting on makeup on the train, wearing jeans, not having to cook - having soup or milk for dinner. i want to travel, and find myself before i have to cater to a mans needs. really i am horney though and use up on average one N size battery per week :eek:

Reply 99

stac4321

Original post by Anonymous

same man..i'm 17 and havent even hugged anyone of the opposite sex..
i dont have a da..no brother family or guys friends so i have NEVER huggend a guy..
i'm actually considering askin someone.it's not like i'm asking for a kiss on the lips or sez..just HUG..