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I'm sick being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. . .
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Original post by Anonymous
Anon as I know people on here.
I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.
Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?
Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.
I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.
Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.
Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?
Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.
I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.
Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
well first of all i would say maybe go to different clubs, some clubs attract a certain type of people. if not try and make sure you dont give them eye contact because they might think thats a sign for them that you like them or for them to approach you. if they move close to you just move to the other side of the group if you are in one/give them an evil aha. also get their early when its not so busy and people arent as drunk and leave before its gets really packed and everyone is smashed. would probably help if you have some guy mates out with you too. other than that there isnt much you can do apart from not go which im guessing isnt an option
Original post by rosee92
It's nice to see a guy sticking up for girls who want some freedom in life 
It's the 21st century, girls should be allowed to go where they like without being threatened!
It's the 21st century, girls should be allowed to go where they like without being threatened!
But they can't, so it's no good saying that and dressing how you want then complaining about unwanted attention.
Girl: Get your grubby hands off me, you filthy caveman! This is the 21st Century!
Guy: I'm terribly sorry that you took offence to my obviously poor pulling tactics; I shall refrain from touching your beautiful body because as you say - it is indeed the 21st Century.
Doesn't happen I'm afraid; the reality is:
Guy: Ug ug ug, me want girl, I touch girl and she want me and kiss me, ug ug ug (stream of intelligible bile)....
Original post by rosee92
Your logic is equal to "I've always smoked and never got cancer, therefore others shouldn't." Just because you haven't been groped doesn't mean that girls don't get groped for no reason. 
why go somewhere where you are going to get groped? there are better places/clubbs
Original post by T-Star*
You haven't borrowed a dress from a certain Ms Gaga have you?
Dammit you got there first.
Don't dress like a slag then.
I go clubbing occasionally, usually as a follow on from when the bars close and I wanna keep the night going.
And I agree, some men seem to believe that just because a woman is in club, she's "liek totally up 4 it yeh?". Er, no fool, don't bloody think so.
And as for the other posters saying OP shouldn't dress like a slut - one, OP doesn't. And two, just because a woman chooses to wear something that's not a full cover-up and baggy, doesn't mean she's an easy lay. If a woman says no, just back the hell off.
I was in a nightclub ages ago (I say this because at the time I was single) and wearing a 1950s style polka dot prom dress. I had this one bastard who just wouldn't lay off, no matter what I did. He kept following me around the whole night when I was dancing and at the bar. I told him repeatedly to piss off, but he just wouldn't take the hint. He grabbed my arse and tried to grope me outside the club later on, at which point I yelled at him to take the hint and leave me the **** alone. Guess what? Still trying it on, the moron!
I still go clubbing sometimes, but I try to stay with my friends wherever possible and keep away from the morons. Sometimes it ain't easy though. But if someone does try it on, just keep fighting your corner until he gets the message. It's all you really can do :/
And I agree, some men seem to believe that just because a woman is in club, she's "liek totally up 4 it yeh?". Er, no fool, don't bloody think so.
And as for the other posters saying OP shouldn't dress like a slut - one, OP doesn't. And two, just because a woman chooses to wear something that's not a full cover-up and baggy, doesn't mean she's an easy lay. If a woman says no, just back the hell off.
I was in a nightclub ages ago (I say this because at the time I was single) and wearing a 1950s style polka dot prom dress. I had this one bastard who just wouldn't lay off, no matter what I did. He kept following me around the whole night when I was dancing and at the bar. I told him repeatedly to piss off, but he just wouldn't take the hint. He grabbed my arse and tried to grope me outside the club later on, at which point I yelled at him to take the hint and leave me the **** alone. Guess what? Still trying it on, the moron!
I still go clubbing sometimes, but I try to stay with my friends wherever possible and keep away from the morons. Sometimes it ain't easy though. But if someone does try it on, just keep fighting your corner until he gets the message. It's all you really can do :/
Original post by tinshed
why go somewhere where you are going to get groped? there are better places/clubbs
Erm, so there's only one club in the whole city where people get groped, it doesn't happen anywhere else does it?
I don't know why people think wearing more clothes makes much of a difference. I've tried adding leggings and jackets yet some people still feel like they can just help themselves. I don't even wear much makeup either.
OP I literally just push them away and hope they get the message.
OP I literally just push them away and hope they get the message.
Original post by Blueflare
I like how this thread implies that you are so fabulously attractive that no one can resist you. 
Guys would not do that with such tenacity and frequency unless you dress/dance/behave like a slut. Or come across as incredibly needy. They go for the easy targets, either way.
Solution: make yourself a harder target.
Guys would not do that with such tenacity and frequency unless you dress/dance/behave like a slut. Or come across as incredibly needy. They go for the easy targets, either way.
Solution: make yourself a harder target.
That's complete bull****, and to be honest, implies that you are a jealous, unattractive and bitter hater of your own sex who never gets any attention.
I wore a headscarf for four years and I still had guys stalking me and pinching my ass. I don't dress or act in a slutty way and never have. A lot of men just choose to treat women with zero respect, regardless of their behaviour and or choice of clothing and as a woman yourself, you should blame the men for their choices, not women for the fact that some of us are actually attractive. Get over your own selfish bitterness. Women like you make me sick.
Original post by tinshed
believe me women will not go to such clubs. I've got enough neg rep from this thread I don't care any more, but the truth of the situation is no matter what she says she dresses a certain way to GAIN attention. but when it doesn't come from a nice looking guy she has a problem with it. in all my years of clubbing I have never received unwanted attention, ever, and yet I managed to have a good time with my friends.
Why wouldn't these women go to female-only clubs though. They obviously feel that if socializing with men they are at risk of harrassment, BUT still wish to be dress in a manner which flaunts their assets (so to speak) and wear clothing which is very revealing.
If they got to an exclusively (straight?) female club, then this unwanted attention from 'creepy' or 'lecherous' males will not be there, whilst they will still be able to get drunk, or party or whatever they wish. I'm sure there must be establishments like this already, aren't there? (maybe not in the UK but possibly in other countries).
Why would a female specifically want to get attention but then complain when you get it - that doesn't really make sense!
Original post by rosee92
So what we're agreed on is that the inability of men to control their sexual impulses has and is still preventing women from wearing what they like. If I see a guy walking around a club not wearing a shirt I don't grab his arse cause I think he's easy do I?
You'd be amazed how much bum grabbage I have to deal with on a typical friday night out... I'd take it as a compliment but most of the girls that try are ugly and wasted (much like most of the guys you complain about, I imagine).
Although, I know I've said this before, but a lot of you are clearly going to the wrong sort of clubs.
If you go to the cheap ****ty dives this sort of thing happens, but go somewhere a bit pricier with more security and it won't happen nearly as much.
Original post by effofex
Why would a female specifically want to get attention but then complain when you get it - that doesn't really make sense!
Because they want attention from guys, they just don't want guys who don't get the hint when their attention isn't wanted.
It's why bouncers at decent clubs usually won't let in drunk guys who don't have female company.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by effofex
Why wouldn't these women go to female-only clubs though. They obviously feel that if socializing with men they are at risk of harrassment, BUT still wish to be dress in a manner which flaunts their assets (so to speak) and wear clothing which is very revealing.
If they got to an exclusively (straight?) female club, then this unwanted attention from 'creepy' or 'lecherous' males will not be there, whilst they will still be able to get drunk, or party or whatever they wish. I'm sure there must be establishments like this already, aren't there? (maybe not in the UK but possibly in other countries).
Why would a female specifically want to get attention but then complain when you get it - that doesn't really make sense!
If they got to an exclusively (straight?) female club, then this unwanted attention from 'creepy' or 'lecherous' males will not be there, whilst they will still be able to get drunk, or party or whatever they wish. I'm sure there must be establishments like this already, aren't there? (maybe not in the UK but possibly in other countries).
Why would a female specifically want to get attention but then complain when you get it - that doesn't really make sense!
women wouldn't show off their assets to other women. some women go clubbing expecting a nice guy to chat them up and check them out and when it is someone sleazy they get pissed off. you are a guy you wouldn't get it. there is a club where I stay that lets women in and men but men have to pay more, they can't sit in certain sits and all that. but it doesn't work, someone always gets the wrong idea.
to be quite honest I've had enough of this thread. this is the last time I am commenting on it.
Original post by rosee92
So what we're agreed on is that the inability of some men to control their sexual impulses has and is still preventing women from wearing what they like. If I see a guy walking around a club not wearing a shirt I don't grab his arse cause I think he's easy do I?
Fixed. We agree now
And I imagine some girls would do exactly that if he was hot.
Original post by rosee92
So what we're agreed on is that the inability of men to control their sexual impulses has and is still preventing women from wearing what they like. If I see a guy walking around a club not wearing a shirt I don't grab his arse cause I think he's easy do I?
If this is the problem then it is very difficult to actually legislate against AND put into practice. In theory all these forms of harrassment are illegal but how many of these men are actually prosecuted for it?
Wouldn't you prefer a female-only establishment so this doesn't happen? One alternative could be using biometric software to screen people's faces on entry (kind of what is used in new EU passports) as well as having CCTV installed in clubs. Then if an incident of harrassment occurred it could be easily proven and the person(s) doing the harrassment could be readily identified and then barred from attending clubs. Do you think this would be a better idea?
Unfortunately because men constitute such a large part of the population it may be easier for you to socialize in restaurants, bars, theatres, house parties and not in such clubs (unless they are female-only). That's the most pragmatic approach, surely?
Original post by Horatio-
I actually laughed out loud because of this statement. At least for a good 30 seconds as well.
Not proud though.
Not proud though.
Your welcome, it was meant to be funny
First thing i thought of weirdly when i read the title, so had to put it down lol
Original post by sixthformer
My religion teaches me this:
"let there be no compulsion in religion , for truth is clear from falsehood"
But still, this is TSR, i am not making or forcing or imposing anyone to follow me, i am simply giving my point of view, and trying to explain where i stand on issues. I have an open mind. Yes, i can see people drinking, having fun, smiling. But then i think, what is the purpose in this? Drinking only intoxicates you, causes you to be someone you are not. Going to clubs and parties , like the op has proved, even if it is not your intention, makes guys lust, and is just a breeding spot for corruption.
Lets keep this clean, you can express your point of view, but don't use fallacies in your arguments(attacking the arguer , rather than their argument)
C
"let there be no compulsion in religion , for truth is clear from falsehood"
But still, this is TSR, i am not making or forcing or imposing anyone to follow me, i am simply giving my point of view, and trying to explain where i stand on issues. I have an open mind. Yes, i can see people drinking, having fun, smiling. But then i think, what is the purpose in this? Drinking only intoxicates you, causes you to be someone you are not. Going to clubs and parties , like the op has proved, even if it is not your intention, makes guys lust, and is just a breeding spot for corruption.
Lets keep this clean, you can express your point of view, but don't use fallacies in your arguments(attacking the arguer , rather than their argument)
C
Simple answer: Its fun and I think one of our primary goals as humans is too seek happiness...Ergo..
Original post by Anonymous
Anon as I know people on here.
I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.
Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?
Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.
I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.
Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.
Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?
Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.
I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.
Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
You are most likely going to clubs where chart music is predominant.. going out, 'grindin' shorty on the floor' etc... theres either loads of overly sexual music where women are put on pedestals getting on the dancefloor and getting attention in revealing outfits or air to inflate the male ego about how fly they are and how drunk they can get and how all the birds like their ice and clothes etc when in reality its just a room full of borderline rapists.
The most female friendly nights i can think of are either gay clubs (which will play club music if you like it) where the populous is men and women like you or i love techno/house nights (or any other genre really.. garage, dnb, dubstep) although that might not be your thing.. things like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5aYnKSDzHA&feature=related where the emphasis is all about dancing and enjoying music rather than going out on the pull or slaggin it up.
Fact is, if you go to sleezy clubs playing chart music about sleezy clubs you are going to be treated like meat because thats what the vibe is.
(edited 13 years ago)
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