Best friend - things happened but now she has bf
I'm quite a rational person, but I'm not sure if my head is screwed on straight at the moment, so any comments are appreciated.
Basically I became best friends with this girl in my final year at university (she has two more years) and towards the end of the year we started having feelings for each other. Things happened but during the summer hols we decided to just be friends due to the long distance factor as I had finished university by then. And also she valued the friendship too much and didn't want to mess me around because all her past relationships didn't last more than a year. During this point we still spoke on the phone a lot, sometimes for a good several hours, and often they were deep emotional talks - she kept on painfully telling how much she misses me. If you heard us you'd think we were a couple. Although I desparately wanted to visit her as well, I didn't because I knew it would be unhealthy. But the time came and as expected things happened. She said she wouldn't be able to bear it if I found a new girlfriend. I said I would be jealous if she found someone else, but I would be happy for her. So new term began and a few months in she started seeing this guy. I told her not to mention it as I was not ready. She visited last weekend and I could feel she had changed, and I didn't feel I was as close to her, even when we were originally close friends (I guess she was doing me a favor). When she was texting on the phone I knew she was texting him and I listened to each click on the iphone keypad and I could hear her click what I thought was the x key at the end. In the morning she said she wanted to get the earliest train possible to get back, but asked if we could go to the town centre to buy some stuff, but didn't say who for. All this was killing me, and I couldn't help it. I finally ask her about him. She told me what I had suspected, but now it's kind of "fresh" in my mind again. Also he's half French, and I keep on bloody thinking don't the French nation have the biggest penis on average. **** sake, I just can't help torturing myself, which is the problem.
I could have visited her more regularly during summer time and term time and keep her to me, but because she is also a best friend I didn't go down that route. Thus allowing her to meet someone else. I thought that was the best choice, although I knew in the short-term I would get so jealous. She keeps on going into relationships because she says when wants to be cared for and loved. But she has always spoken about the future with me in it. Like we have plans to get a flat together when we're both working in London (yeah, girls love to thinking about these things, although it probably won't happen, but yeah), and she also thinks what it'd be like if she was married to me.
So my dilemma is what to do now. The thing is I liked her so much and she is also a best friend. It was an inevitability and there's potentially two more years of it, so I have to endure it. There was a point where I only wrote to her because calls/texts were too frequent and I couldn't get her out of damn head. Should I revert back to that? At the moment I keep on thinking about her and what she is doing, which is the main problem. The easiest way is probably to find a new girlfriend of my own, but that won't be happening soon. Also I don't like the fact that she has been with a lot more partners than I have. A part of me wants to force myself to hate her so much at the moment (there are points that I can focus to do that), but I'm not sure if that's reversible if I do that, as I will distance myself a lot until things subside. I have the mindset to do that and we will end up as friends.
Part of me regrets ever kissing her when we were friends. For short-term gain this hass resulted in a complicated issue that could be compromising.
I'm know I'm a complete emotional, jealous pussy...
Basically I became best friends with this girl in my final year at university (she has two more years) and towards the end of the year we started having feelings for each other. Things happened but during the summer hols we decided to just be friends due to the long distance factor as I had finished university by then. And also she valued the friendship too much and didn't want to mess me around because all her past relationships didn't last more than a year. During this point we still spoke on the phone a lot, sometimes for a good several hours, and often they were deep emotional talks - she kept on painfully telling how much she misses me. If you heard us you'd think we were a couple. Although I desparately wanted to visit her as well, I didn't because I knew it would be unhealthy. But the time came and as expected things happened. She said she wouldn't be able to bear it if I found a new girlfriend. I said I would be jealous if she found someone else, but I would be happy for her. So new term began and a few months in she started seeing this guy. I told her not to mention it as I was not ready. She visited last weekend and I could feel she had changed, and I didn't feel I was as close to her, even when we were originally close friends (I guess she was doing me a favor). When she was texting on the phone I knew she was texting him and I listened to each click on the iphone keypad and I could hear her click what I thought was the x key at the end. In the morning she said she wanted to get the earliest train possible to get back, but asked if we could go to the town centre to buy some stuff, but didn't say who for. All this was killing me, and I couldn't help it. I finally ask her about him. She told me what I had suspected, but now it's kind of "fresh" in my mind again. Also he's half French, and I keep on bloody thinking don't the French nation have the biggest penis on average. **** sake, I just can't help torturing myself, which is the problem.
I could have visited her more regularly during summer time and term time and keep her to me, but because she is also a best friend I didn't go down that route. Thus allowing her to meet someone else. I thought that was the best choice, although I knew in the short-term I would get so jealous. She keeps on going into relationships because she says when wants to be cared for and loved. But she has always spoken about the future with me in it. Like we have plans to get a flat together when we're both working in London (yeah, girls love to thinking about these things, although it probably won't happen, but yeah), and she also thinks what it'd be like if she was married to me.
So my dilemma is what to do now. The thing is I liked her so much and she is also a best friend. It was an inevitability and there's potentially two more years of it, so I have to endure it. There was a point where I only wrote to her because calls/texts were too frequent and I couldn't get her out of damn head. Should I revert back to that? At the moment I keep on thinking about her and what she is doing, which is the main problem. The easiest way is probably to find a new girlfriend of my own, but that won't be happening soon. Also I don't like the fact that she has been with a lot more partners than I have. A part of me wants to force myself to hate her so much at the moment (there are points that I can focus to do that), but I'm not sure if that's reversible if I do that, as I will distance myself a lot until things subside. I have the mindset to do that and we will end up as friends.
Part of me regrets ever kissing her when we were friends. For short-term gain this hass resulted in a complicated issue that could be compromising.
I'm know I'm a complete emotional, jealous pussy...
Original post by CapnHooch
Essay man.
If she seems happy and you've stated you wanted her to be happy then I guess as her best friend you have to accept it and move on I'm afraid.
If she seems happy and you've stated you wanted her to be happy then I guess as her best friend you have to accept it and move on I'm afraid.
Original post by Yawn11
Loool, troll?
You heard her type X? and you're worried about this guy's penis size? wtf
You heard her type X? and you're worried about this guy's penis size? wtf
lol
I think you need to do whatever's best for yourself to move on. I just couldn't spend my life like that, so if i was in your position, I'd cut her out of my life. But of course, I'm not you... Do what you feel most comfortable with
Join the club. Not the 'my best friend has found someone with a bigger dick' club, I mean the 'I decided to just have some fun and now I am paying emotionally for it' club.
I hate distance sometimes.
I hate distance sometimes.
Not much you can do unfortunately
Original post by Yawn11
Loool, troll?
You heard her type X? and you're worried about this guy's penis size? wtf
You heard her type X? and you're worried about this guy's penis size? wtf
I just sent a text using my iphone and all the keys on the keyboard sound exactly the same. I don't know why no one else has picked up that it is a troll.
Original post by babygirl110
I just sent a text using my iphone and all the keys on the keyboard sound exactly the same. I don't know why no one else has picked up that it is a troll.
Lool I know right? Gullible gits.
Everyone has an iPhone these days
I'm gonna get samsung galaxy s in a few weeks - I'm a little bit of a non-conformist.Even sold my bb and eactivated fb.
Original post by Yawn11
Lool I know right? Gullible gits.
Everyone has an iPhone these days I'm gonna get samsung galaxy s in a few weeks - I'm a little bit of a non-conformist.
Even sold my bb and eactivated fb.
Everyone has an iPhone these days
I'm gonna get samsung galaxy s in a few weeks - I'm a little bit of a non-conformist.Even sold my bb and eactivated fb.
get yourself a HTC desire maybe? I really like mine...
Original post by joey11223
get yourself a HTC desire maybe? I really like mine...
HTC Desire is awesome, and practically the exact same as samsung galaxy s, but the samsung beat it on a couple specifications, can't remember what exactly.
I think it was screen size or the camera? It has HD video recording at 720p, 30 frames per sec! :O
Original post by Yawn11
HTC Desire is awesome, and practically the exact same as samsung galaxy s, but the samsung beat it on a couple specifications, can't remember what exactly.
I think it was screen size or the camera? It has HD video recording at 720p, 30 frames per sec! :O
I think it was screen size or the camera? It has HD video recording at 720p, 30 frames per sec! :O
fine get the HTC desire HD. It has a 4.3" not 3.7" screen and plays HD.
Original post by joey11223
fine get the HTC desire HD. It has a 4.3" not 3.7" screen and plays HD.
Yeah that phone beats the iphone completely...
Now it's just a question of whether I can afford it or not...
Gonna check some prices right now actually...
Original post by Yawn11
Lool I know right? Gullible gits.
Everyone has an iPhone these days I'm gonna get samsung galaxy s in a few weeks - I'm a little bit of a non-conformist.
Even sold my bb and eactivated fb.
Everyone has an iPhone these days
I'm gonna get samsung galaxy s in a few weeks - I'm a little bit of a non-conformist.Even sold my bb and eactivated fb.
Lol yeah, very gullible.
Yeah everyone is on iphone now. It was so much cooler when it was exclusive. Has it gone cheaper or something? Is that why everyone is on it now? I can't wait for my contract to end, I want the iphone 4.
Mind you blackberry was once exclusive and then everyone ended up on it.
I don't know much about Samsung Galaxy, I used to have samsung omnia which was a disappointment and so I decided never to go for a samsung product again.
Original post by babygirl110
Lol yeah, very gullible.
Yeah everyone is on iphone now. It was so much cooler when it was exclusive. Has it gone cheaper or something? Is that why everyone is on it now? I can't wait for my contract to end, I want the iphone 4.
Mind you blackberry was once exclusive and then everyone ended up on it.
I don't know much about Samsung Galaxy, I used to have samsung omnia which was a disappointment and so I decided never to go for a samsung product again.
Yeah everyone is on iphone now. It was so much cooler when it was exclusive. Has it gone cheaper or something? Is that why everyone is on it now? I can't wait for my contract to end, I want the iphone 4.
Mind you blackberry was once exclusive and then everyone ended up on it.
I don't know much about Samsung Galaxy, I used to have samsung omnia which was a disappointment and so I decided never to go for a samsung product again.
Iphone's are just expensive for no reason.
Samsung Galaxy is a beauty. <3
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