Is it polite/unnecessary to ask the bf if I can meet my ex for coffee?

You nicked my avatar

How the **** is it ok for her to go out with her ex for a coffee without asking her bf? I would really hate it if my gf did that, specially considering how most girls would be in tears if someone went with their partner/ex for a coffee...

The typical female response:

"Yes do it, you are free no need to ask!"

Well vickie89, if your bf met his ex for a coffee, you would be making an anon thread in the H&R about how your bf went out with his ex for a coffee behind your back...

How the **** is it ok for her to go out with her ex for a coffee without asking her bf? I would really hate it if my gf did that, specially considering how most girls would be in tears if someone went with their partner/ex for a coffee...

lolwut? Have you ever actually been in an adult relationship?

Seriously bad idea.

For a start I doubt your current bf would like it very much.

Secondly, that is CRUEL to your ex, seriously, the friendship zone is like a dark hellish pit for a guy that he can never escape from...

That is if your ex still likes you, if he's clearly moved on and has found someone else, that's different.

secondly, if you are secure in your relationship it shouldnt really be a problem who they meet up with as there is a reason they are ex's. its no different to him meeting up with female friends imo, i hate that people feel they need permission in order to see someone, especially for something as innocent as a cup of coffee in a public place.

first of all my ex did meet his girlfriend for a drink on a couple of occasions. i had no problem with it as i was confident in my relationship and knew he didnt want to be with her anymore and at no point did i ever think about coming onto an internet forum to bitch about it. as i said she should tell him so he is aware of it and she isnt then doing it behind his back.

secondly, if you are secure in your relationship it shouldnt really be a problem who they meet up with as there is a reason they are ex's. its no different to him meeting up with female friends imo, i hate that people feel they need permission in order to see someone, especially for something as innocent as a cup of coffee in a public place.

Yeah we're both with new people and happy.
But wow, infantile? Seriously being made to feel like it was an evil, evil idea here.

If it was the other way round and the guy met his ex for a coffee, the girls in here would be up in arms suspicious. Double standards and hypocrisy.

There is a difference though... How on earth would you it is just an innocent cup of coffee? the ex could have other motives? Trust is beautiful, and I would like to be able to meet my ex, but I can't imagine my gf will be 100% comfortable with it. Which would be the reason I wouldn't... just for her sake.

but even if he has other motives, doesnt mean she does. at end of day theres a reason you dumped your ex so just cos she might have other ideas doesnt mean you do is what im getting at. its about trusting your partner to stay faithful to you regardless of how other people feel towards her otherwise people wouldnt trust them to go anywhere alone. thats just the way i see it and i know other people see it differently to me, but i cant really help that.

so why do you still feel the need to meet up? It's very strange that if you were happy and with new people, why would you feel the need to rake up the past and see your past failed relationships?

It's infantile, Yes. I wouldn't call it evil, i'd just say its a very stupid idea. And probably not very fair on your current partners.

If he trusts me completely and NOTHING would ever happen. I just feel as this is the first meet-up since a messy break up, where my bf knows how hurt I was, that I should at least tell him I was thinking of going for a civil coffee with my ex. That's absolutely all it would be. Thoughts?