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Are there any girls who have decided they never want to have kids?

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I'm glad I'm not the only one.

My reasons are really deep. My mum has always gone on about how people who decide not to have children are selfish but then I the reason I don't want to have children is actually because of them. I'm really cold and emotionally unavailable because of the way they brought me up. They have been so cold and emotionally unavailable in brining me up and my mum doesn't know what unconditional love is.

I just fear I would turn out like them if I ever became a parent.

I think they are the selfish ones for having me as a child all because they wanted a cute baby but then when the going got tough when I got older, they couldn't deal with it.

I think they are really hoping to become grandparents one day because they keep looking at my aunts who now have grandchildren with admiration. I don't think I will afford them that opportunity.

This is very similar to my situation. I think that a child being brought up and "cared for" by me would be tantamount to neglect... emotional neglect.
I always think: surely it's better that I realise this than go ahead and have kids just because it is what society expects?! This idea of not wanting kids being "selfish" makes no bloody sense in my opinion.
I'm an only child too, so no hope of grandkids for my folks. Gutted. :awesome:

Reply 21

Anonymous #4

all you women who say you don't want children are just wired WRONG

Reply 22

Cicerao

Yes, now let's wait for the inevitably male **** to come along and tell people they will change their minds, because said **** obviously knows people better than they know themselves.

Reply 23

Aspiringlawstudent

God yes. It would practically be a prerequisite. Couldn't stand to have children. I'd rather pull my own feet off.

Reply 24

username345307

I used to really dislike children, especially babies and particularly newborns. Never wanted any, did not want to give birth, possibly would adopt a well behaved 5 year old. Then one day something changed and now I want loads :biggrin:

Baaabies

I go all gooey if I see babies or clothing (especially socks) :tongue:

it changed even more when I had a pregnancy scare and couldn't even think about getting an abortion.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 25

babygirl110

Original post by Anonymous

all you women who say you don't want children are just wired WRONG

Not really, you don't know people's circumstances.

It's better not to bring a child into this world if one knows that child won't have the best in life.

Reply 26

sofee

i've never wanted children, just never felt the desire
sometimes i think being a mum would be fun - but not every day for the rest of your life

Reply 27

Lucy798

Yeah, not decided completely. The pain just puts me right off :s-smilie:

Reply 28

mimimimi

Yep. I've never ever imagined myself having kids. I feel bad because I know there are people who can't have them and really want them. If only there was some way to have a hysterectomy and just donate it all to someone who'd use it... I'd totally be up for that.

Reply 29

Lazuliblue

Original post by HouseLover

Me! I have recently come to the conclusion that I don't want to have kids. If I were ever to be inclined towards having children, I'd adopt a disadvantaged child. :smile:

This. Except it wasn't a recent conclusion I came to - I've felt this way since I was about 15.

Reply 30

siani-chan

I don't have a maternal instinct for babies or children - just animals. I think I'll be a cat lady. :p:

Reply 31

Bslforever

There are plenty on here. TSR is hardly the most maternal of all the websites.

Reply 32

im so academic

Original post by HouseLover

Me! I have recently come to the conclusion that I don't want to have kids. If I were ever to be inclined towards having children, I'd adopt a disadvantaged child. :smile:

This. Why procreate when you could rescue a disadvantaged child out of poverty and give it a better start to life?

Much more kind that way. :smile:

Reply 33

Bslforever

Original post by babygirl110

Not really, you don't know people's circumstances.

It's better not to bring a child into this world if one knows that child won't have the best in life.

Just out of interest, do you think you've had the best in life? I know I haven't and i don't know anyone that could generally describe themselves as having "the best in life".

I've definitely done the best with what i've had but i've never had the best in life. Doesn't mean i'm not very much enjoying what I have.

Reply 34

im so academic

Original post by Vohamanah

Yeah I know I don't want kids. I do quite like kids (when they are a fun age - 3,4,5ish - babies are rubbish) but I certainly wouldn't want any of my own. My ex really wanted kids. Idk what would have happened if we had carried on. I'm not prepared to ruin my life with kids just to keep a man. Haha.

Good point. If I ever came to that situation - the guy can just go and find someone else.

Reply 35

prescilla

I have never liked kids and I just can't stand a kid who is screaming on the supermarket's floor because I won't buy him/her a toy/candy. I have seen too many families (especially my relatives) where the father goes clubbing, doesn't help with the babies and still complains. I have said this for years and years but I'm not going to go through 9 months of hell and give birth to a screaming kid. Especially when the guy gets all with no responsibility. Now before someone starts complain about my last comment, I say that I don't believe that all guys are like that. But I have seen too many guys like that and I don't want to be in a situation like that.

Losing my social life, career and go crazy because I have to take care of screaming and crying kids... No thanks. And I can't understand people who keep calling us selfish and bad people. Why do they even care? Their life won't change if we have kids or not. I don't even think that it's that wise to get many children in this world because there are already way too many children. It's much easier to live alone than with children. I don't think it's selfish, it's selfish if you have kids and think like me.

Reply 36

im so academic

Original post by Aspiringlawstudent

God yes. It would practically be a prerequisite. Couldn't stand to have children. I'd rather pull my own feet off.

Oh hi.

Now that is someone I find attractive in a man.

Original post by prescilla

Losing my social life, career and go crazy because I have to take care of screaming and crying kids... No thanks.

This I agree with.

So at the point where I've reached adulthood, gained independence and got an amazing job I've worked so far for all these years - only for that to be taken away?

No thanks.

Reply 37

Converse

Original post by im so academic

This. Why procreate when you could rescue a disadvantaged child out of poverty and give it a better start to life?

Much more kind that way. :smile:

Do you talk **** purposely for the neg rep?

Reply 38

jaime1986

Original post by HouseLover

Me! I have recently come to the conclusion that I don't want to have kids. If I were ever to be inclined towards having children, I'd adopt a disadvantaged child. :smile:

I feel exactly the same as you.

I am now 24 and just do not see having children as being part of my life... Not for any reason other than it just isn't me.

Reply 39

whiplash

Is there something wrong with society if so many girls don't want to have kids? What happens decades down the line when we're still burdening paying for everyone's pensions and we have no new breed of young talent to drive the country forward.