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I need help, I am compulsive liar
Please keep anon.
This more of me just letting it out.
Recently, I have become under a great deal of stress. It is because of my lying. I lie over little things. I lie all the time. I distort the truth. I hate it. I have gotten away with it, when you actually sit and focus on my lies then you know they are lies. Sometimes, I don't know why I lie but I do.
I think it is because I feel really insecure, have low self esteem and low confidence. I lie because I want to hide that.
The type of "friends", I have are rich, better looking and popular. They enjoy things, I could never have. I envy them. I am not rich or good looking. I lie so I could fit in. Sometimes, I lie to make out that I done things and I know what they are like. I don't. I want to feel like I fit in the vain hope that I have some confidence and that people will like me. I don't feel confident but rather low.
I lie over small things because in my head it fits in with another lie I told. It always to uphold this image.
So I avoid people. I avoid my friends. So I can't lie or talk to them any more. I feel isolated and lonely. I go back, when I go back, I lie and I, still feel lonely.
The thing is people only like me because they want to use me. When I get my head down and revise or do coursework, I know what I am doing. People take advantage. I let them, I want to stop feeling lonely and desperate. I am still a desperate loner.
It is lies upon lies. I can't bear it. I am not asking for sympathy or understanding. I want to let it out and I want to deal it. I don't want to be a liar. I want to be liked.
This more of me just letting it out.
Recently, I have become under a great deal of stress. It is because of my lying. I lie over little things. I lie all the time. I distort the truth. I hate it. I have gotten away with it, when you actually sit and focus on my lies then you know they are lies. Sometimes, I don't know why I lie but I do.
I think it is because I feel really insecure, have low self esteem and low confidence. I lie because I want to hide that.
The type of "friends", I have are rich, better looking and popular. They enjoy things, I could never have. I envy them. I am not rich or good looking. I lie so I could fit in. Sometimes, I lie to make out that I done things and I know what they are like. I don't. I want to feel like I fit in the vain hope that I have some confidence and that people will like me. I don't feel confident but rather low.
I lie over small things because in my head it fits in with another lie I told. It always to uphold this image.
So I avoid people. I avoid my friends. So I can't lie or talk to them any more. I feel isolated and lonely. I go back, when I go back, I lie and I, still feel lonely.
The thing is people only like me because they want to use me. When I get my head down and revise or do coursework, I know what I am doing. People take advantage. I let them, I want to stop feeling lonely and desperate. I am still a desperate loner.
It is lies upon lies. I can't bear it. I am not asking for sympathy or understanding. I want to let it out and I want to deal it. I don't want to be a liar. I want to be liked.
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Sometimes, . I don't lie purposely, but I can't help it. Lies just slip out of my mouth without me realizing it.
Bah. I'm getting slow in my old age.
Original post by Crazy Paving
Bah. I'm getting slow in my old age.
No you aren't.
I have a friend who does that all the time and its very annoying, she lies whenever it suits her but i was in college with her 4 2 years and i can tell straight away when shes lying so its not so bad but hey i sure feel sorry 4 ur friends.
The fact u realise its a prob is a good sign now all u gotta do is figure out a way of getting urself out of what sounds like a really big mess, good luck!
The fact u realise its a prob is a good sign now all u gotta do is figure out a way of getting urself out of what sounds like a really big mess, good luck!
Hola Amigo 
I can help, I once volunteered at a youth centre where I mentored a girl who was a compulsive liar and she was EXACTLY like you, she went to a middle class school full of beautiful children, she was plain and poor and she lied compulsively about everything.
I don't know if you realise but people know your lying, they'll never mention it to you however they mention it within each other, they do realise sometimes that your lying, they will feel sorry for you and not mention it.
You suffer from low self esteem, low self confidence and grandiose delusions and compulsively lie to create an image you so badly wish to possess to the extent where it takes over your life and you can't go back. If you are more extreme you could possibly be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder however I doubt you have gone that far, read up on it and look into the symptoms.
Start by picking one thing that you know you always lie about. For example: your weight, your age, how you got that scar, what you do for a living, etc. Focus on telling the truth about that ONE thing EVERY TIME. This will give you practice and get you used to answering honestly. This is especially helpful if you pick something that comes up frequently in conversations. Have the honest answer ready in your mind, repeat it to yourself if you have to.
I think once you have identified what you lie about most you will continually repeat the truth and tell yourself that your are fine just as you are.
I would drift away from all the people you have lied to as many of them will not give you their trust again and start forming new relationships with people who you tell the truth with the from the start.
Research Sam Vaknin, compulsive and pathological lying and the two personality disorders I stated earlier and get to the bottom of WHY you lie so much, you have alot of shame, low self esteem and don't feel you are good enough, you need to build that up.
Therapy can sometimes help you answer questions as to why you do certain things too.
Good Luck!
xoxo
I can help, I once volunteered at a youth centre where I mentored a girl who was a compulsive liar and she was EXACTLY like you, she went to a middle class school full of beautiful children, she was plain and poor and she lied compulsively about everything.
I don't know if you realise but people know your lying, they'll never mention it to you however they mention it within each other, they do realise sometimes that your lying, they will feel sorry for you and not mention it.
You suffer from low self esteem, low self confidence and grandiose delusions and compulsively lie to create an image you so badly wish to possess to the extent where it takes over your life and you can't go back. If you are more extreme you could possibly be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder however I doubt you have gone that far, read up on it and look into the symptoms.
Start by picking one thing that you know you always lie about. For example: your weight, your age, how you got that scar, what you do for a living, etc. Focus on telling the truth about that ONE thing EVERY TIME. This will give you practice and get you used to answering honestly. This is especially helpful if you pick something that comes up frequently in conversations. Have the honest answer ready in your mind, repeat it to yourself if you have to.
I think once you have identified what you lie about most you will continually repeat the truth and tell yourself that your are fine just as you are.
I would drift away from all the people you have lied to as many of them will not give you their trust again and start forming new relationships with people who you tell the truth with the from the start.
Research Sam Vaknin, compulsive and pathological lying and the two personality disorders I stated earlier and get to the bottom of WHY you lie so much, you have alot of shame, low self esteem and don't feel you are good enough, you need to build that up.
Therapy can sometimes help you answer questions as to why you do certain things too.
Good Luck!
xoxo
(edited 13 years ago)
I'm not I just never tell the truth...
What you need to look at one day you will be caught out with one of your lies, if you have this much of a problem maybe you need to speak to someone about it.
I'll raise your hopes by saying that i used to be a compulsive liar just like yourself and now i'm reformed.
I'll bring you back down to Earth by telling you that i just woke up and literally, my urge to tell crazy, wild untruths was gone and i was a new character, for reasons unbeknownst to me and to those who had suffered and occasionally been entertained by my stories, which were nearly always fake and came out of me uncontrollably.
I'll bring you back down to Earth by telling you that i just woke up and literally, my urge to tell crazy, wild untruths was gone and i was a new character, for reasons unbeknownst to me and to those who had suffered and occasionally been entertained by my stories, which were nearly always fake and came out of me uncontrollably.
Original post by professortobe
I have a friend who does that all the time and its very annoying, she lies whenever it suits her but i was in college with her 4 2 years and i can tell straight away when shes lying so its not so bad but hey i sure feel sorry 4 ur friends.
The fact u realise its a prob is a good sign now all u gotta do is figure out a way of getting urself out of what sounds like a really big mess, good luck!
The fact u realise its a prob is a good sign now all u gotta do is figure out a way of getting urself out of what sounds like a really big mess, good luck!
It is a big mess. I really want to stop lying. I want to be honest. At least I know that I have a problem.
Did your friend know that you knew she was lying?
I do think and probably aware they know I am lying.
Original post by damos92
I'll raise your hopes by saying that i used to be a compulsive liar just like yourself and now i'm reformed.
I'll bring you back down to Earth by telling you that i just woke up and literally, my urge to tell crazy, wild untruths was gone and i was a new character, for reasons unbeknownst to me and to those who had suffered and occasionally been entertained by my stories, which were nearly always fake and came out of me uncontrollably.
I'll bring you back down to Earth by telling you that i just woke up and literally, my urge to tell crazy, wild untruths was gone and i was a new character, for reasons unbeknownst to me and to those who had suffered and occasionally been entertained by my stories, which were nearly always fake and came out of me uncontrollably.
This. Which is why, I now start avoiding people.
Original post by MovingOn
Just stop. If you can't do that, get professional help to stop.
Can you not see the lies and the resulting popularity are founded on nothing? You are losing every time you tell a lie.
Can you not see the lies and the resulting popularity are founded on nothing? You are losing every time you tell a lie.
I can see that. Which is why always lonely and never feel good.
Original post by PortiaLovesMcqueen
Hola Amigo
I can help, I once volunteered at a youth centre where I mentored a girl who was a compulsive liar and she was EXACTLY like you, she went to a middle class school full of beautiful children, she was plain and poor and she lied compulsively about everything.
I don't know if you realise but people know your lying, they'll never mention it to you however they mention it within each other, they do realise sometimes that your lying, they will feel sorry for you and not mention it.
You suffer from low self esteem, low self confidence and grandiose delusions and compulsively lie to create an image you so badly wish to possess to the extent where it takes over your life and you can't go back. If you are more extreme you could possibly be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder however I doubt you have gone that far, read up on it and look into the symptoms.
Start by picking one thing that you know you always lie about. For example: your weight, your age, how you got that scar, what you do for a living, etc. Focus on telling the truth about that ONE thing EVERY TIME. This will give you practice and get you used to answering honestly. This is especially helpful if you pick something that comes up frequently in conversations. Have the honest answer ready in your mind, repeat it to yourself if you have to.
I think once you have identified what you lie about most you will continually repeat the truth and tell yourself that your are fine just as you are.
I would drift away from all the people you have lied to as many of them will not give you their trust again and start forming new relationships with people who you tell the truth with the from the start.
Research Sam Vaknin, compulsive and pathological lying and the two personality disorders I stated earlier and get to the bottom of WHY you lie so much, you have alot of shame, low self esteem and don't feel you are good enough, you need to build that up.
Therapy can sometimes help you answer questions as to why you do certain things too.
Good Luck!
xoxo
I can help, I once volunteered at a youth centre where I mentored a girl who was a compulsive liar and she was EXACTLY like you, she went to a middle class school full of beautiful children, she was plain and poor and she lied compulsively about everything.
I don't know if you realise but people know your lying, they'll never mention it to you however they mention it within each other, they do realise sometimes that your lying, they will feel sorry for you and not mention it.
You suffer from low self esteem, low self confidence and grandiose delusions and compulsively lie to create an image you so badly wish to possess to the extent where it takes over your life and you can't go back. If you are more extreme you could possibly be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder however I doubt you have gone that far, read up on it and look into the symptoms.
Start by picking one thing that you know you always lie about. For example: your weight, your age, how you got that scar, what you do for a living, etc. Focus on telling the truth about that ONE thing EVERY TIME. This will give you practice and get you used to answering honestly. This is especially helpful if you pick something that comes up frequently in conversations. Have the honest answer ready in your mind, repeat it to yourself if you have to.
I think once you have identified what you lie about most you will continually repeat the truth and tell yourself that your are fine just as you are.
I would drift away from all the people you have lied to as many of them will not give you their trust again and start forming new relationships with people who you tell the truth with the from the start.
Research Sam Vaknin, compulsive and pathological lying and the two personality disorders I stated earlier and get to the bottom of WHY you lie so much, you have alot of shame, low self esteem and don't feel you are good enough, you need to build that up.
Therapy can sometimes help you answer questions as to why you do certain things too.
Good Luck!
xoxo
Thank you.
I agree with what is said here. The girl story, is reflective of mine. I am aware of the causes of why I lie. I lie because I am ashamed of who I am. I do live in a middle class area, I am really poor and come from a broken family. I lie because I am ashamed of who I am.
When the attention comes to me, I hate it. I hate the attention and feel uneasy about it.I lie to get away from the attention.
Now, I avoid people. I know, they know I am lying. I don't want to admit to it. I am in a mess.
I have low self-esteem and suffer from low confidence. I don't feel good about myself. I don't know who I am. When I think about it, I am poor, plain, lonely and just boring.
I lie compulsively and needlessly at times. I don't need to lie.
Compulsive liar?....have you ever considered becoming a lawyer?
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