Hey.
I've got an issue- I'm male, but for years have felt like I want to be a female, or androgynous. I just feel totally unable to express this, at all though. My parents would never really look at me in the same way again, i'm sure of this. How can they possibly be proud of a son who isn't doing well at A Level, and who isn't even sure of their gender?
This wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't having a significant impact on my academic and social life. I get nervous around people as it is, and find it hard to trust. Since high school i've been stabbed in the back by those I get close to, and it has happened again recently. I feel totally 'outside' the friendship group i'm in right now, and i've been told it's just because i'm "New to the circle".
I live rurally, so expressing myself by wearing feminine clothes would lead to... bad things, I can understand this- but i'm concerned that when I if I get into Uni (miraculously) things won't change. I can't imagine what flatmates in Halls of Residence would think seeing that they have to share a room with someone who is cross-dressing/looking 'different'.
I have a sexuality issue relating to this too- I know i'm definately "into" girls, but, when asked about my ideal partner, I can't be sure that it would be a girl. I have a 'thing' for androgynous/feminine Asian males, and have no idea if this is even natural- but in all honesty, if I had to pick an ideal partner, that'd be how it is.
This topic is, I suppose, as much just to air this as anything else, but all advice would be great. I just really have no clue what to do.