How has mental illness affected your life?

I'm too bothered about them being indecisive any more, can't blame them when what they're going by isn't an exact science either so requires a bit of guess work and filling in the gaps. Or maybe I'm too forgiving

I've had the being told to kill people thing too, was it like thoughts put into your head for you or an actual voice telling you to do it? I found it difficult to disobey it and it's always something that leaves most people rather silent when brought up in conversation! Even though you're supposed to be able to tell your doctors anything, I still find that a really difficult thing to discuss with them.

And I agree that it really is a postcode lottery. When I was living in Hull the provision of care was awful, I was often left for weeks at a time without anyone checking up on me despite being suicidal at the time and very paranoid. When I moved back home I was seen by a specialist psychosis team within a week and have had regular care from them since.

I struggle with depression and tbh everyday is just an effort. I have dreams but nothing satisfys me. I lost alot of friends through depression and i stopped being able to stick up for myself. I take medication for depression but that just makes me dopey. Its ruined me and noone understands because unlike a broken leg you cant see it really.
I did get help and although its helped a bit i dont think i will ever feel happy.

it feels like I'm trapped in my own mind tbh...

I take meds that make me drowsy and dopey also. All i want to do all day is sleep.

I too have OCD and lived with it for 5 years before i started to look for help.
Long story short, i tried different CBT/antiety therapists until i found one i genuinely got on with. She charged me £60/h and had about 10 sessions of which is the norm.

Anyway CBT has all but illiminated my symptons and i feel like i've lost those 5 years on my life.

What also helps is socilising a lot more. Anyway i dont know you but with the right help you'll get bwtter.
Go find help ASAP..

i could actually sleep forever. i get up after hours and hours, sit down and fall asleep again. i fall asleep in letures, cinemas, cars, watching tv. its actually horrible.

sorry you feel that way xxx
.

Have you ever had CBT? I'm about to start some. They're hoping it will stop me being trapped in/out of rooms, etc. Might help you feel like you're more in control

I take meds that make me drowsy and dopey also. All i want to do all day is sleep.

I can't be the only one whose been in an adolescent unit am I?

I can only describe mental illness as a heavy weight just following you around everywhere and it never goes away fully unless you manage to sleep.

I've got quite a mental health history...in the past Ive been diagnosed with quite a lot, basic gist, anxiety(been diagnosed social, general, PTSD, OCD, panic disorder, phobias at various times) since I started primary school (Im 19), depression since I started high school, since then I've cut myself, been diagnosed anorexic (restrictive type), bulimic, anorexic (purging type), had drinking problems...

I nearly dropped out of high school when my anxiety was worst, after years of therapy I'm just about coping with university, I managed to acheive recovery before I moved for the most part, I just still struggle with my anxiety levels a lot in presantation settings and with new people, but I inform lecturers if I have to do a presantation so it doesn't affect my grades (theyre very accomodating), I sit exams in a smaller room, and I just do my best with new people...it's always gonna be an uphill battle but if you're determined you can still make your life everything you want it to be

Try and seek professional help as soon as you can. It is likely the doctor may not know what the condition is, my doctor didn't back in the day we went to see them but my mum found out and told them. I haven't been for any form of treatment though as my mum thought I was too young back then to see a psychiatrist but I think it would have helped. About 10 years on I still have the condition and am no closer to getting rid of it. Feel free to private message me, seeing as I don't know who you are. I'd be very interested to see how you get on and also answer any questions you might have. I have has hypnotherapy which I think didhelp but made me feel bad as it was so expensive To self help, get plasters and stress balls.. cover your thumbs because you need them to pull, and use a stress ball whenever you get an urge. The condition isn't one that gets easier with time though

I'm too bothered about them being indecisive any more, can't blame them when what they're going by isn't an exact science either so requires a bit of guess work and filling in the gaps. Or maybe I'm too forgiving

I've had the being told to kill people thing too, was it like thoughts put into your head for you or an actual voice telling you to do it? I found it difficult to disobey it and it's always something that leaves most people rather silent when brought up in conversation! Even though you're supposed to be able to tell your doctors anything, I still find that a really difficult thing to discuss with them.

And I agree that it really is a postcode lottery. When I was living in Hull the provision of care was awful, I was often left for weeks at a time without anyone checking up on me despite being suicidal at the time and very paranoid. When I moved back home I was seen by a specialist psychosis team within a week and have had regular care from them since.

Sorry to quote you all, but just wondering how (if you guys suffer from intrusive thoughts) cope with them? For about 2 mnths now I've been having violent intrusive thoughts about stabbing family with a knife when I'm using one in the kitchen when chopping vegetables etc. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but the doctor thinks it's anxiety and a bit of OCD. I never act on these thoughts obviously, but they are quite upsetting as you'd imagine!

Any advice welcomed please!

Yeah, I try not to handle sharp knives because my thoughts tend to get a bit scary when I do My thoughts tend to manifest themselves as voices and it depends how overpowering these voices are. Sometimes they are just a whisper or quite quiet, in which case I just ignore them as best as I can. Other times they scream and are far too loud to ignore, in which case I have to sit it out and wait for them to shut up. If I'm in a position to figure out a trigger, e.g. being in a particular space (often for me, an academic library) sets them off, I leave if I'm "allowed" to.

I was advised by someone at uni to create a caring/soothing voice to counter the negative ones, which works when the negative ones aren't too strong. I also have little trinkets and a book that I carry around with me, to try and calm me down in any given situation

One thing that's always puzzled me, is when people say they hear voices, is it like the sort of voice that's like your conscience, it sounds like your own voice like when you're thinking? Or is it like voices of other people you don't know? And are they voices that are so real like it's someone talking to you in real life?

I can answer that bit for you, even though I know it's not addressed to me, but you did quote me originally so I'll reply

The first thing you described as your 'conscience' which sounds like your own voice is called internal dialogue, it's perfectly normal to hear that and it occurs in almost everyone.

When I hear voices it's so real it's as if someone is in the room talking to me, it doesn't sound like my own voice at all and can sound male or female, can have direction, can be quiet or loud, and can talk about various things sometimes just single words other times it's sentences. When I first started hearing it, it scared me quite a bit but now I've gotten used to it/it's controlled with medication.

Cheers for replying man
I respect you and all you guys who manage to cope with hearing these voices - it sounds so frightening, but I guess after a while you habituate to it.
When you're on medication, do the voices completely stop? Do you experience any other sorts of hallucinations? Will you have this for life?

Sorry to quote you all, but just wondering how (if you guys suffer from intrusive thoughts) cope with them? For about 2 mnths now I've been having violent intrusive thoughts about stabbing family with a knife when I'm using one in the kitchen when chopping vegetables etc. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but the doctor thinks it's anxiety and a bit of OCD. I never act on these thoughts obviously, but they are quite upsetting as you'd imagine!

Any advice welcomed please!

For some people they stop completely thanks to medication, I know a girl who attends the same place as me and for her the antipsychotics have worked and she's really doing well towards recovering and getting everything back on track. For me though despite being on the highest dose of quetiapine I still get days where I hear them, mostly at night time when I'm trying to get to sleep. There's no background noise to distract you so you end up noticing them more.

When I'm not on medication I get other hallucinations such as seeing ghostly shadow people following me everywhere, and other things like objects changing size/shape and moving towards me. Those sorts of things though are controlled pretty well by the medication. And so far as I'm aware I'll probably have to take the medication for life, in the past when I've stopped taking it my symptoms have come back.

Just accept them and realise everyone has those thoughts but OCD makes them appear worse.
Really and truly you need CBT because its difficult to explain over the internet, but to summarize you could try imagining yourself carrying out those thoughts.. Everytime you have thoses thoughts just counsciously amplfy them. ie.. intrunsive thought.. "stabbing mother" you get scared "why am i thinking about it" so instead just ampfly it and continue with stabbing mother, chopping her, eating her, etc think the worst of the worst, until you forget about the intrusive thought. Then continue whatever you're doing or start on something fun.. The point is to desenstise you from those thoughts.
Also importantly what i've learned is i get intrusive thoughts when im really bored.
So try to make a note of when you have those thoughts to try identify a pattern.

My suggestion is try to get help as soon as because CBT is really helpfull on young people..