Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Do you ever worry that you won't meet someone?

preeeeeeeze keep anon :smile:

as the title says... do you ever wonder if you'll actually find someone that you want to marry and settle down with?

my main aim in life is to get married and have children, which feels a bit ironic considering i'm 19 (almost 20) and have never had a boyfriend... don't know why, it's just never happened for me.

i suppose i worry about it more because, other than my grandparents, no one in my family has managed to sustain a relationship - my parents broke up when i was very young, and i have no cousins because none of my parents' siblings have ever married or had children.

does anyone else have similar worries?

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Reply 1

JunoBug

Sometimes you just have to go with it. Rather than wishing and wanting things like kids, I found I needed to accept the fact that you don't always get what you want and you need to be happy with what you have, whatever that may be. I do wonder if I'll ever be with someone for a very long time but I find it best not to dwell and I just focus on what I'm doing now instead, like being with my family or friends or the current boyfriend, work or studying... I feel really old saying that :biggrin:

(I'm the same age as you).

Reply 2

Smelly Ellie

I thought that. Then I did. :smile:

It's not worth worrying about, if something happens then great, if not you have wasted a lot of time fretting instead of enjoying yourself. You're only 19!

Reply 3

>Anna<

Yeah, a bit.

You can't really do much but go with the flow and see what happens. And have a back up plan :p:

Reply 4

Crazy Paving

Nah, not really. I like to live in the present. :shades:

I sometimes think to myself, lots of people hadn't met that person by my age yet, so it doesn't bother me.

Reply 5

wanderlust.xx

Of course, I suppose most people do. The trick is to find something you enjoy, and realise that you can't pin happiness on just one person. Don't put all your eggs in one basket!

For example, I'd be happier with a girlfriend, but other things make me happy too - my family, games, movies, reading, studying, swimming... the list goes on. So, if for some reason one falls (girlfriend, for example) then I have the others to pick myself up with.

What happens when you pin all your hopes on your first girlfriend/boyfriend and something happens and you break up? In most cases you become suicidal and feel like life isn't worth living. On the other hand, if you were to break up and you had your family/a close friend/a hobby, then, well, you get what I'm saying.

TL;DR version: Stop being such a wimp and think more about yourself. Be more selfish. What you want, what makes you happy, what you deserve, and what the world owes you.

Reply 6

Fandabidoze!

Nope, but I do worry that I'll have to just settle for someone who I don't truly love.

Reply 7

Crazy Paving

Original post by >Anna<

Yeah, a bit.

You can't really do much but go with the flow and see what happens. And have a back up plan :p:

Back up plan: If we're still single by the time we're 40, let's get married? :hubba:

Reply 8

im so academic

I don't give a **** really. I know what I want from life and it doesn't involve being with someone, so I'm happy about that. :smile:

Reply 9

History-Student

I had her, but fell out of lve with her and we broke up recently :frown:

So I've had my shot and let her go, so yes I am now permanently worried about this because no one will ever match up to her.

Reply 10

Flyer8

Not at all, cos if its meant to be, it will be. Beside relying on someone else for your happiness isn't always the solution. Some answers rather, is within.

Understandably, its that time of the year, just got to keep it up live & fight another day. :biggrin:

Reply 11

>Anna<

Original post by Crazy Paving

Back up plan: If we're still single by the time we're 40, let's get married? :hubba:

Ha, deal!

Reply 12

lukas1051

Everyone in life finds someone, there are very few people who never find someone they love. Even the most horrible, ugly people, you see getting married and having kids... you may not have a boyfriend now, and you may never have had one before, but if you just get on with life, go with the flow, things will come to you.

Reply 13

Crazy Paving

Original post by >Anna<

Ha, deal!

Every guy who tries starting something with you best watch his back over the next 20 years. :colone:

Reply 14

channy

It's always on my mind. There has to be other survivors, I can't be the only one left!

Reply 15

darkred

I think most people will have this feeling at least once in their life, or similar feelings. :smile:

Don't worry, and don't ever try to get into a relationship just so you can settle down.
Just because it didn't work out for the people around you, doesn't mean it won't for you.

RELAX.

And there's always meeting someone on TSR if all else fails :colone:

Reply 16

hothedgehog

Original post by History-Student

I had her, but fell out of lve with her and we broke up recently :frown:

So I've had my shot and let her go, so yes I am now permanently worried about this because no one will ever match up to her.

Don't be like that... you fell out of love for a reason so there will be someone else who can live up to her and exceed her. Just keep happy, enjoy the good times you had and try to move on otherwise nothing will happen with you dwelling in the past.

Reply 17

Yawn11

Sometimes.

But then I remember how awesome I am.

And tbh, atm, unless time freezes, I don't have time to settle doown.

Reply 18

Arnotts

I do think i'll never meet someone who I actually love who also actually loves me back. But I'm not worried about it. I'm the kind of person where it would just seem plain unnatural to be 'in a relationship'.

Reply 19

Pensivedore

I hate how it's programmed into us that we need someone to "settle down" with, I mean, we're all perfectly happy without finding "the one" but then everyone and everything tries to get it in our heads that we won't be happy until we find someone. It's all bull**** to be honest.

And to answer your question: No. I don't ever worry that I won't meet someone because there is and will never be anyone.