Funny and amusing customers.

Inspired by the 'Annoying Customers' thread :h:

I shall begin with two stories to lighten the mood :awesome:

A couple of male customers today were teasing the girl in work. They kept asking for her number and then saying her cheeky smile means she hasn't got a boyfriend and she should make sure she remembers to put her number in the bag as well. She is 19 they were hitting 50 :mmm:

Oh and then after that they were asking her about the underwear. So she showed them the underwear and he proceeded to ask her where the 'stash' was. She was incredibly confused so he turned to his mate, opened his pants and pointed at his cock. Saying "yano the stash" :rofl2:

And then he turned round to her mid zip up and said "I need an XL, not trying to imply I have a massive cock, just telling you I have." And then walked out :rofl3:

Although, even better was some customers winding eachother up :awesome:

A lad trying a coat on and his mates walk in:
"It doesn't matter how nice that coat is your shoes are so **** they ruin everything." :rofl:

Then the other lad I work with is basically doubled over in laughter and walks away, so the lads mates are then saying:
"Look what you have done to the poor lad, he can't even look at you, your **** shoes are knocking him sick."

Scroll to see replies

LOL"

Okies so I used to work at Arsenal FC on matchdays you know in the food kiosks as a cashier, I served this guy a gourmet burger which was about £5 on its own (ripoff), he took a big bit into it and said "Do you have any ketchup, this burger is dryer than a nana's c**t".

I burst out laughing haha, fun times. I miss the Arsenal days. :moon:

Reply 3

nerimon18

That first story was disgusting how ugly were those lecturous old men?

Reply 4

Katq

The first story was annoying and perving customers, not funny at all.
I thinkI'd report it if two 50 year old men almost showed me their dicks at work.

Reply 5

Arcanine

Original post by Katq

The first story was annoying and perving customers, not funny at all.
I thinkI'd report it if two 50 year old men almost showed me their dicks at work.

You're an uptight bellend then.

Reply 6

rylit91

Op and I<3Vans - those people are vile and vulgar. Not a funny story, more a tragic one that such people exist.

Reply 7

Katq

Original post by Arcanine

You're an uptight bellend then.

If disliking being perved on by 50 year old creepy men is uptight, then I might just be so.

Reply 8

doloroushazy

that first story sounds so traumatising, I'd probably need counselling if I was that girl. I hate it when creepy old men hit on me ahhh

Reply 9

Mastermind`

First story is ****ing hilarious.

Reply 10

ViralRiver

Counselling because an older man was hitting on you? Wow...

Reply 11

Steph90

Original post by Katq

If disliking being perved on by 50 year old creepy men is uptight, then I might just be so.

There is a difference between disliking and getting all hysterical about it. Also its not an offence he did not actually show his penis, so what would you report him for?

I also think you are forgetting that older people have feelings too. :yes:

Reply 12

Ilovewords

I had a really horrible customer once I was serving at work. I work in a childrens toy department and the conversation ended with her throwing a box, at my head.

It was a thomas the tank engine box too which made it hurt more :frown:

Reply 13

theths

Original post by rylit91

Op and I<3Vans - those people are vile and vulgar. Not a funny story, more a tragic one that such people exist.

that's pushing it a bit, but it would probably put me on edge slightly if i was already in a bad mood

or if they were ugly.

Reply 14

username196545

First story's a bit gross actually.

Hmm, funny stories; working at a festival, I'm a barmaid, customer: "Okay so I know it's a bit strange to ask so I'm just gonna come right out and say it: Are any of selling drugs round the back?" :lolwut:

And generally serving pillheads/people so high on MDMA they don't even know where they are.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 15

Katq

Original post by Steph90

I meant dislike, not hysterical. I don't know, if two older men were opening their pants, talking about their penis and asking for my number at my work, I'd probably tell someone about it.
Older men do have feelings yes, but so do younger women.

Reply 16

aeterno

After purchasing something a customer leans forward and whispers to me 'Where's the nearest place to get a pack of condoms? I have a feeling I'm going to get laid when I give my girlfriend her present and I want to be prepared.' After trying not to laugh, and telling him, he proceeds to run out of the store with a silly grin on his face at realising the nearest place is just across the street.

We had a rather enthusiastic customer who kept saying how wonderful everything was. 'Oh what an absolutely wonderful store this is!' 'Oh what wonderful service!' 'Oh how brilliantly wonderful! A receipt!' Then he went around high fiving everyone and calling them wonderful. Odd but still. :biggrin:

Reply 17

Steph90

Original post by Katq

I was just joking. Ofcourse its gross (still funny though :tongue:

)

I don't know about the reporting part though. I know some girls who would just laugh it off even though they are disgusted really and others that would probably smack the old men round the head and dial 999.

Reply 18

Katq

Original post by Steph90

I was just joking. Ofcourse its gross (still funny though :tongue:

Haha, ok no worries. Sorry if I come across as so serious, I just sometimes forget to put smilies in my posts.

:smile:

Original post by aeterno

Love this, lol.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 19

Steph90

Original post by aeterno

Lol, both stories are funny.

I wouldn't mind working in retail if every customer was interesting/stupid/funny/awkward in some way and all the other people working there were too. A bit like Charlie and the Choclate Factory. Instead, almost everybody is extremely bland and boring. I only ever did 6-7 days (split across 3 weeks) and couldn't hack it.