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should I confront my mum?

Hey all :smile:

Long story short, for the past...7 years (that I know of) I know my mum has been making herself sick, essentially bulimia

I first realised because I used to ask all the time "mum have you been sick? i can smell sick" and she said "yeah but don't tell your dad" which made me click on to what she was doing

so now i'm 17, and the thing that bugs me the most as bad as it sounds, is the simple fact that she thinks i'm so naive and stupid that i don't know she does it, when i clearly do. Although I don't think my dad knows.

it's getting beyond a joke, for instance I wanted to go to the bathroom last week to clean my teeth and she had the door jammed shut not letting me in because she was "at the toilet" a.k.a being sick

It really gets to me because she's not fat, what she's doing is achieving nothing, and so many times when she's been arguing with me for silly things i've almost told her that i know

What should i do about it? I can't keep it bottled up for much longer :frown:
I think you should talk to her about it. Encourage her to get some professional help.. Especially if it's been going on for such a long time. There's no point avoiding the subjects anymore.. You need to do what's best for her and help her get the help that she needs.
Reply 2
Talk to her, you must because nobody else will.
Oh my gosh, that's terrible :frown: I don't think there's much you can say to get her to stop, she'll probably need professional help from a psychiatrist. You should probably talk to her though. Good luck :hugs:
Maybe say to her she isn't fat and then tell her what she is doing is actually very bad for her.
Reply 5
Original post by StrawberryKoi
Oh my gosh, that's terrible :frown: I don't think there's much you can say to get her to stop, she'll probably need professional help from a psychiatrist. You should probably talk to her though. Good luck :hugs:


I dunno how to get her to get help though, she's doing it RIGHT now and it makes me feel sick knowing she is, it's also the fact that she's not even going to lose weight by doing it because she does it wayyyy after the food she's ate has been digested, and it can cause so many problems like acid imbalance.

I know for a fact if I confront her she will straight out deny it :/ I just feel so hopeless

I don't want anything to be awkward so I might wait it out till summer before i go to university then confront her about it
Reply 6
Original post by Rock Fan
Maybe say to her she isn't fat and then tell her what she is doing is actually very bad for her.


I tell her she isn't fat ALL the time, I think she has that body dimorphism thing.

It's been on tv before and I've said that it can cause so many problems and isn't beneficial in the slightest but she doesn't listen
BDD - Body Dysmorphic Disorder is what you're looking for, and yes she probably has that. Maybe tell your dad and get him involved, it seems a shame for your mum to cope with this on her own.
Reply 8
That must be really hard for you. I've worked with a mum with bulimia and she was always worried about what her children thought.
Are you close to your mum? Why don't you talk to her and just say that you realise what she is doing to herself, and that she should go to the doctors who can refer her onto an eating disorders service.
Does she binge eat too or is she more restrictive with her eating (or she may be totally normal in her eating). I only ask as it may not be bulimia, some anorexics purge too, but unless she is very underweight then she wouldn't be classed as anorexic.

In the mean time, try spending time with her after she has eaten to take her mind off the food. You're 100% right, in that vomiting does not work as a form of weight control, nor do methods such as laxatives. It could be seriously damaging g salivary glands, her gullet and her stomach, not to mention her teeth. But bear in mind people with eating disorders who do not want to be helped, can't change. She will have to want to change, in order for treatment to be offered.
Original post by Rock Fan
Maybe say to her she isn't fat and then tell her what she is doing is actually very bad for her.


which she wont listen to or believe, its not as simple as saying "stop sticking two fingers down your throat."

I say yeah confront her and ask if she intends to get any help.

Though gotta say either your dad knows and pretends he doesnt to you (highly likely) or hes incredibly self absorbed to not notice the symptoms for seven years
Original post by silverbolt
which she wont listen to or believe, its not as simple as saying "stop sticking two fingers down your throat."

I say yeah confront her and ask if she intends to get any help.

Though gotta say either your dad knows and pretends he doesnt to you (highly likely) or hes incredibly self absorbed to not notice the symptoms for seven years


You have a fair point

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