scared of sex

I'm a 21 year old girl. And still a virgin. Not that I haven't had the opportunity to have sex, it's just I get too scared and nervous and freak out.
What is wrong with me? I really want to do it, I'm just too scared and now I'm even more nervous cos I feel like I have waited so long and I'm just going to be rubbish.

Meh. Don't really know what advice I am looking for here.

Man up.

There is a difference between 'making Love' and 'having sex', most people today don't believe in the foreplay that comes before sex .... I think you need someone to Love instead of someone to have sex with .... I could be wrong..

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Watch Out For Sharks

Man up.

oh wow, thanks so much. I'd never though of that...
:mad:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Dekota-XS

There is a difference between 'making Love' and 'having sex', most people today don't believe in the foreplay that comes before sex .... I think you need someone to Love instead of someone to have sex with .... I could be wrong..

Hmm I get what you mean. But to love someone, you need to be with them a while. And therefore would more than likely have had sex with them by the time you realise you are actually in love.

Reply 5

Linzikins

12

It's really nothing to be scared about.

Reply 6

Ebony19

12

You're putting it high up on a pedastal, which I don't blame you for because everyones gone a little crazy with the SEXpectations. I agree that you should wait until you fall in love, you sound quite vulnerable and I imagine having a one night stand might leave you feeling a little used and abused.

Reply 7

Coco-Berry Drop

This is understandable, it can be scary for those who haven't experienced it. It would be easiest if you do it with somebody you're totally relaxed and comfortable around, also communication is key. Express your concerns and thoughts to the person and hopefully they'll be understanding and do their best to make it as pleasant as possible :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

I completely understand you. I was exactly the same way. I wasn't interested in boys physically until I was 17, which was during my A levels, so I was too busy studying to have time for a bf. I was also plagued with low self-esteem. I was scared not of the thought of sex being painful, but at the emotional aspects of it (will he get turned off because I'm not pretty/thin enough? Will I be really bad at it? Will I embarrass myself? Will he make fun of me?). Anyway, this year I took a gap year before university, and I decided I would get a bf and go out more to break out of my shell ready for uni. After a lot of dating, I got a bf last month who I felt comfortable with, and who loved me and all my curves. He's 25 and I'm 19. I didn't want to go too young because they tend to prefer skinny girls I find. I didn't want to go too old because that would be too weird. Being 25, my bf is experienced enough that I know that he can deal with my inexperience and teach me what I need to learn. I lost my virginity last night to him, and while there were lots of little mishaps, but in the end it was ok. Just make sure you find someone you can trust first, and who loves you and your body (plenty of compliments are a good sign :wink:

). Take your time, experiment with foreplay a couple of times before you take things further until you get comfortable with it (and you start craving it). I was getting worried I'd stay a virgin forever because I was leaving it for so long, and hadn't had a bf yet, and was worried they wouldn't want to take responsibility for my virginity.

Reply 9

hungryhippo

2

once you pop...you wont stop :mmm:

Reply 10

Yawn11

20

Don't be scared baby, I'll go easy on you. :sexface:

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

I completely understand how you mean; people, songs and movies hype sex up SO much, it is great but there's so many expectations that it consumes you. You need to relax otherwise it'll turn out to be a horrible nightmare.

To be honest, I think you're at an advantage, many people including me lost their virginity at a young age(I was 16) and I was real immature; I wish I emotionally mature enough because I don't even know where the guy I lost my virginity to is.

Reply 12

APreachyLemming

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a 21 year old girl. And still a virgin. Not that I haven't had the opportunity to have sex, it's just I get too scared and nervous and freak out.
What is wrong with me? I really want to do it, I'm just too scared and now I'm even more nervous cos I feel like I have waited so long and I'm just going to be rubbish.

Meh. Don't really know what advice I am looking for here.

You definetly shouldn't worry about it. Just find a person you like and go with the flow, get it done once and you'll be fine.

If also else fails then :whip2:

well you never know

Reply 13

angelstie16

6

Original post by Yawn11

Don't be scared baby, I'll go easy on you. :sexface:

you are completely disgusting... :bird:

Reply 14

trooper6

6

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a 21 year old girl. And still a virgin. Not that I haven't had the opportunity to have sex, it's just I get too scared and nervous and freak out.
What is wrong with me? I really want to do it, I'm just too scared and now I'm even more nervous cos I feel like I have waited so long and I'm just going to be rubbish.

Meh. Don't really know what advice I am looking for here.

I truly do sympathize with you. It’s truly a crime that society has brought against the women such as you to keep them in line. Hope you will find a way to free yourself from these bonds.

Best Wishes

Reply 15

Arnotts

I'm 21 also and exactly the same way. The only difference is I'm really happy I'm this way. I never used to be so I understand how you feel. I was so ashamed of how frightened I was of not only sex but boys in general when I was in high school. I went through a stage at 18/19 of wanting to be normal with guys and finally do something with them, but I could never get past the kissing and light petting stage even when blind drunk. So I've learned to accept it and if it means dying a virgin then so be it. I've turned it into waiting for marriage, which if someone finds out they think it must be so hard, but its much easier this way for me.

Reply 16

alibobs

14

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm I get what you mean. But to love someone, you need to be with them a while. And therefore would more than likely have had sex with them by the time you realise you are actually in love.

not at all. It's not something I have done, but my friends sister met a guy when she was 22. She wasn 't a virgin but wanted to wait til she had sex because she had been in a few rough relatinoships. They waited 6 months until they had sex and are now happily married, 6 years down the line, trying for a baby. You don't have to have sex with someone just because you're in a relationship. I think you definitely need to get to know someoen before you take that leap as it would make you feel more secure. Sex isn't anything to worry about but it's even less so when you feel secure in a relationship

Reply 17

OceanSoul

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm I get what you mean. But to love someone, you need to be with them a while. And therefore would more than likely have had sex with them by the time you realise you are actually in love.

You're wrong. You don't need to get shagged before you realise you're in love. And I think you could hold your sex drive for a while till you develop love towards the person. The same goes for the guy.