Falling in Love - the Honeymoon period....
I'm just curious to hear anyone's experiences of when they first fell in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Did you believe it was actually 'falling in love' within the first week or few weeks, or are you a bit more sceptical and believe that falling in love doesn't really take effect till after a couple of months? Is your definition of falling in love different to that of what your friends might perceive as falling in love?
Do you remember when you had your first little disagreement in the initial romantic love stages and how did you feel?
I just find the whole concept of falling in love fascinating and that everyone has different perceptions. I came out of a 8 year relationship 7 months ago and with him, i was friends with him first for 6 months before i fell in love with him. We lasted so long because we were (and still are) great companions. 5 weeks ago i met someone new and fell in love with him and the feeling is completely mutual. My feelings for my new boyfriends is completely different to how i felt with my ex - maybe that's because at 30, i look at the perception of falling in love differently than when i did when i was 22.
I understand most of you maybe 19 or 20, but im sure you can provide your own stories of falling in love
Do you remember when you had your first little disagreement in the initial romantic love stages and how did you feel?
I just find the whole concept of falling in love fascinating and that everyone has different perceptions. I came out of a 8 year relationship 7 months ago and with him, i was friends with him first for 6 months before i fell in love with him. We lasted so long because we were (and still are) great companions. 5 weeks ago i met someone new and fell in love with him and the feeling is completely mutual. My feelings for my new boyfriends is completely different to how i felt with my ex - maybe that's because at 30, i look at the perception of falling in love differently than when i did when i was 22.
I understand most of you maybe 19 or 20, but im sure you can provide your own stories of falling in love
Scroll to see replies
This is worth a reply imo.
But I cant do it now, Im to tired.
I shall edit this post in the morning, and give you my view.
(just leaving this so I dont forget
)
But I cant do it now, Im to tired.
I shall edit this post in the morning, and give you my view.
(just leaving this so I dont forget
)
I was in a long-term relationship (4 years) but I never really fell in love with him. The guy after him was like being blindsided - like an addiction (which isn't surprising given what goes on in the brain and all that dopamine!) but yeah, it was weird - despite logic telling me that he's a human and has his faults, the chemicals and neural pathways were telling me that this guy completes the picture in every possible way and can do no wrong. If anything, it was a relief when we had our first disagreement and helped to keep me grounded.
No doubt about it though, falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world; having been heartbroken too is like a horrible withdrawal period, so I can see why many people cling onto tiny glimmers of hope - it's like having that one final hit
No doubt about it though, falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world; having been heartbroken too is like a horrible withdrawal period, so I can see why many people cling onto tiny glimmers of hope - it's like having that one final hit
I knew there was something 'there' once I met my hunnybunny.
Our honeymoon period still isn't over... After 18 months we're still strong and mad about eachother.
I didn't really believe in 'Love' before I met her, all my previous ex's I just simply 'liked'.. I've never even told anyone I love them, apart from my current bunny :]
So I just knew I started falling her after about 2 weeks, I couldn't stop talking to her, I always wanted to be around her and I always missed her from the second she left..
Our honeymoon period still isn't over... After 18 months we're still strong and mad about eachother.
I didn't really believe in 'Love' before I met her, all my previous ex's I just simply 'liked'.. I've never even told anyone I love them, apart from my current bunny :]
So I just knew I started falling her after about 2 weeks, I couldn't stop talking to her, I always wanted to be around her and I always missed her from the second she left..
It is different for everyone. Love may be a bit of a learning process. Not just about others but yourself. There have been times when I have thought it was real love but I would learn later that essentially forcing myself to reciprocate feelings to someone only caused me to lie to the other and myself.
Sometimes there can be a spark at first, just a feeling that the other just really seems to understand you perfectly..but really it takes time to know and learn what the attraction really was all about or if it starts to fade.
However now with my LDR SO, I am happy. We started as friends actually and have always been in regular contact since first meeting him. The way I began to feel for him, more then that of just friendship seemed to happen slowly over a period of a few months. I did not just wake up one morning and say "I want to feel love for him" So sometimes love has to be nurtured a while perhaps. Over time you learn about the other and maybe things about yourself that you didn"t know.
Sometimes there can be a spark at first, just a feeling that the other just really seems to understand you perfectly..but really it takes time to know and learn what the attraction really was all about or if it starts to fade.
However now with my LDR SO, I am happy. We started as friends actually and have always been in regular contact since first meeting him. The way I began to feel for him, more then that of just friendship seemed to happen slowly over a period of a few months. I did not just wake up one morning and say "I want to feel love for him" So sometimes love has to be nurtured a while perhaps. Over time you learn about the other and maybe things about yourself that you didn"t know.
(only 19 though, so loads of time i knew there was something different about him from the start...
but love developed slowly...and then it just hit me one night. sat up late talking, and i just felt it. id never felt that way about anyone and it grows more every day
as for the honeymoon period...i dnt think it ever has to end if you dont want it to. you can keep it going
we've had our ups and downs, but we've never really fallen out or had a disagreement. its always been a miscommunication that has left one of us confused and it mucks things up
but easily corrected with some good old conversation
i hate it when people decide they love each other after a week though. NO YOU DONT, YOU JUST REALLY LIKE HIM. IT MAY ONE DAY DEVELOP INTO LOVE....BUT NOT YET!
but love developed slowly...and then it just hit me one night. sat up late talking, and i just felt it. id never felt that way about anyone and it grows more every day
as for the honeymoon period...i dnt think it ever has to end if you dont want it to. you can keep it going
we've had our ups and downs, but we've never really fallen out or had a disagreement. its always been a miscommunication that has left one of us confused and it mucks things up
but easily corrected with some good old conversation
i hate it when people decide they love each other after a week though. NO YOU DONT, YOU JUST REALLY LIKE HIM. IT MAY ONE DAY DEVELOP INTO LOVE....BUT NOT YET!
I'm a cynic... and honestly believe love, true love, takes a long time to develop, and doesn't ever leave. You can fall in and out of love with someone, but you can't stop loving someone.
In my first relationship at the moment, we both said 'I love you's pretty early on, about 3 months in. However, I think I really realised it was love and not infatuation or anything attached to the first experience after we reached one year. We started living together by that point and everything just became comfortable. Honestly, a year later nothing's really changed from that point on... my feelings are more cemented now, and will continually reaffirm itself as the relationship goes on.
As with all relationship, my boyfriend and I have our ups and downs. We go through weeks and months of being really good around each other (like now), and months of constantly bickering every night. I remember an old couple once said to me, in their 35 years of marriage, 25 years of it have been good but 10 were awful. I guess like them, we have our good and bad times... but through it all, we know we want to be together - and no matter what we're going through at the moment, nothing is worth losing each other for. So even though we probably hurt each other a lot, our friends generally peg us as the most stable couple around.
I think each relationship is different. It needn't necessarily mean you can't love someone just because it took you longer to fall in love with someone else... however, I've felt like I've been in love before and looking back now it was simply infatuation, so I'm very cautious and dubious of other proclaiming to be in love after a few weeks, or even months. But everyone's definition of love itself is different.
In my first relationship at the moment, we both said 'I love you's pretty early on, about 3 months in. However, I think I really realised it was love and not infatuation or anything attached to the first experience after we reached one year. We started living together by that point and everything just became comfortable. Honestly, a year later nothing's really changed from that point on... my feelings are more cemented now, and will continually reaffirm itself as the relationship goes on.
As with all relationship, my boyfriend and I have our ups and downs. We go through weeks and months of being really good around each other (like now), and months of constantly bickering every night. I remember an old couple once said to me, in their 35 years of marriage, 25 years of it have been good but 10 were awful. I guess like them, we have our good and bad times... but through it all, we know we want to be together - and no matter what we're going through at the moment, nothing is worth losing each other for. So even though we probably hurt each other a lot, our friends generally peg us as the most stable couple around.
I think each relationship is different. It needn't necessarily mean you can't love someone just because it took you longer to fall in love with someone else... however, I've felt like I've been in love before and looking back now it was simply infatuation, so I'm very cautious and dubious of other proclaiming to be in love after a few weeks, or even months. But everyone's definition of love itself is different.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by ScouseEmma28
I'm just curious to hear anyone's experiences of when they first fell in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Did you believe it was actually 'falling in love' within the first week or few weeks, or are you a bit more sceptical and believe that falling in love doesn't really take effect till after a couple of months? Is your definition of falling in love different to that of what your friends might perceive as falling in love?
Do you remember when you had your first little disagreement in the initial romantic love stages and how did you feel?
I just find the whole concept of falling in love fascinating and that everyone has different perceptions. I came out of a 8 year relationship 7 months ago and with him, i was friends with him first for 6 months before i fell in love with him. We lasted so long because we were (and still are) great companions. 5 weeks ago i met someone new and fell in love with him and the feeling is completely mutual. My feelings for my new boyfriends is completely different to how i felt with my ex - maybe that's because at 30, i look at the perception of falling in love differently than when i did when i was 22.
I understand most of you maybe 19 or 20, but im sure you can provide your own stories of falling in love
Do you remember when you had your first little disagreement in the initial romantic love stages and how did you feel?
I just find the whole concept of falling in love fascinating and that everyone has different perceptions. I came out of a 8 year relationship 7 months ago and with him, i was friends with him first for 6 months before i fell in love with him. We lasted so long because we were (and still are) great companions. 5 weeks ago i met someone new and fell in love with him and the feeling is completely mutual. My feelings for my new boyfriends is completely different to how i felt with my ex - maybe that's because at 30, i look at the perception of falling in love differently than when i did when i was 22.
I understand most of you maybe 19 or 20, but im sure you can provide your own stories of falling in love
I've never had a girlfriend, and I've most certainly never been in love. To be honest, I'm not sure I believe it exists. For someone like me being in a relationship seems very unnatural.
Original post by ScouseEmma28
I'm just curious to hear anyone's experiences of when they first fell in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Did you believe it was actually 'falling in love' within the first week or few weeks, or are you a bit more sceptical and believe that falling in love doesn't really take effect till after a couple of months? Is your definition of falling in love different to that of what your friends might perceive as falling in love?
Do you remember when you had your first little disagreement in the initial romantic love stages and how did you feel?
I just find the whole concept of falling in love fascinating and that everyone has different perceptions. I came out of a 8 year relationship 7 months ago and with him, i was friends with him first for 6 months before i fell in love with him. We lasted so long because we were (and still are) great companions. 5 weeks ago i met someone new and fell in love with him and the feeling is completely mutual. My feelings for my new boyfriends is completely different to how i felt with my ex - maybe that's because at 30, i look at the perception of falling in love differently than when i did when i was 22.
I understand most of you maybe 19 or 20, but im sure you can provide your own stories of falling in love
Do you remember when you had your first little disagreement in the initial romantic love stages and how did you feel?
I just find the whole concept of falling in love fascinating and that everyone has different perceptions. I came out of a 8 year relationship 7 months ago and with him, i was friends with him first for 6 months before i fell in love with him. We lasted so long because we were (and still are) great companions. 5 weeks ago i met someone new and fell in love with him and the feeling is completely mutual. My feelings for my new boyfriends is completely different to how i felt with my ex - maybe that's because at 30, i look at the perception of falling in love differently than when i did when i was 22.
I understand most of you maybe 19 or 20, but im sure you can provide your own stories of falling in love
Well, as soon as I met my boyfriend we initiated our... long-distance friendship. I'm generally affectionate towards people I care about, but after I about a week or so I realised '**** he's amazing'
. Thing is, I didn't want to risk losing him as he was practically my best friend; I put more of my time and effort into our friendship than I'd ever done with anyone else.I can't remember exactly when we got together so we've always stated the day we met as our anniversary
. I've always been in love with him, and I believe we're now even more 'honeymoon-ish' than when we met. As for love itself, I find it hard to explain. But it's safe to say, he's literally my better half.I still get the odd strop when we disagree (my parent's are always shocked that we argue, it's such a scandal!), as does he, but I think it's healthy to voice things.
I'm happy for you that you found love again, though
... I really do hope it goes well for you!
Original post by doubledot
It's something great that sneaks up on you without you realizing; it's something that hurts so much when you then realize it's not returned.
Thanks for that in depth insight.
Original post by Converse
Thanks for that in depth insight.
I'm a master at stating the obvious. And, as evidenced by the previous post, an all round idiot.
BTW: Rossi is hot but Pedrosa makes me drool more.
Original post by doubledot
I'm a master at stating the obvious. And, as evidenced by the previous post, an all round idiot.
BTW: Rossi is hot but Pedrosa makes me drool more.
BTW: Rossi is hot but Pedrosa makes me drool more.
Nice reply
And Pedrosa isn't half the man Rossi is.
I fell in love with my gf after a couple of months and it was the usual she's everything i need etc but after 2 years the spark just isn't there for me anymore she is an amazing girl and i'll never even come close to doing better than her, we never argue and i literally mean that not a single fall out but i dunno its really hard to expain after a while you just feel 'meh'. Its nothing like the movies it really isn't
Original post by Converse
Nice reply
And Pedrosa isn't half the man Rossi is.
And Pedrosa isn't half the man Rossi is.
Haha, well, if we're going to take that literally, he is a short guy. Actually, I love both to be honest. They're both great riders. Give me either any day.
A lot of posters in this thread must believe in Peter Pan and Wendy because they are living in Never-Never land.
So far I’ve gathered that infatuation = love.
Since first marriages that end in divorce average ~8 years, I would assume that the infatuation died sometime before that.
Good luck to those of you who have been in a relationship for less than four years and know that you’re in love
So far I’ve gathered that infatuation = love.
Since first marriages that end in divorce average ~8 years, I would assume that the infatuation died sometime before that.
Good luck to those of you who have been in a relationship for less than four years and know that you’re in love
Well, I guess I have a story too, though I can't say that mine had a happy ending.....
I met my (ex) boyfriend for the first time at an interview for the course and uni we now both attend. I knew he was coming because he had said so on (would you believe it) TSR. We had talked briefly on MSN, but nothing too indepth. I an clearly remember sitting in that chair in the Atrium and seeing him walking through the glass sliding doors, in a suit with a red tie. I started to get shy and nervous instantly, and in a funny way I sort of hoped that he wouldn't come over; I didnt know what to say or do...then he looked up and smiled at me, and walked very quickly in my direction - thats when I noticed how attractive he was to me I couldn't look away. Then He came over and shook my hand introducing himself, did the same to my Dad... then we sat in silence... glancing at one another and smiling every so often rifling through our interview packs.
4 or 5 months later of nightly talking on MSN, texting and such, we went to explore our new city (after finding out we had both gotten into that same uni we had met at during interviews) It was then I really started to feel as if I could quite happily spend hours and hours with him; strange as it sounds.... the first thing that really drew me in was the way he said my name. Everytime he said it, it used to make me tingle all over, and grin like a total goon! hehe, we made up so many little private jokes that day, it was great fun!
More trips followed, here there and everywhere (we lived 250ish miles away from one another). Then on a trip to the Peaks, up a cold and windy hill side, he asked to hold my hand. I never wanted to let go. We walked like that practically all day, and finally confessed that we might like to be a little more than friends. By then I knew I was falling in love... but wasn't sure just how deeply. In fact, though it may sound a little odd, I was a bit scared after ourfirst kiss - I didnt know what I was getting myself into, so many questions filled my head that day... but then one evening, we were snuggled up together in his lounge, jut casually making out, and he suddenly blurted out as if he couldn't physically restrain his lips "I love you."
SILENCE.
I just stared at him.... he stared at me.
There was literally nothing passing through my head at that point other than "wow, wow, wow, wow,wow, dear lord girl say it back!!"
So I did. And my goodness did I mean it! I've never felt anything so strong, and so wonderful in my life. Those next few days were so magical and special I just can't even describe them. Leaving him to go home again actually really upset me, even though I knew we'd be seeing one another again very soon at freshers week.
11 months passed.... and somehow things just didn't go according to plan. I'm still not sure what happened... the first 3 months were great, chrismtas came and went.. but then he never seemed to want to meet up anymore, and I was afraid I'd done something wrong; HONEYMOON PERIOD =OVER I tried to get him to talk to me, but he clammed up. The I love you's never got spoken, and I felt as if he didn't want me around anymore, so I backed off and just couldn't find the words to talk to him when we were together; because I felt judged and unwanted, replaced by his new friends. But through all of this I still loved him more than anything else in the world,even though I felt neglected and ignored - I just couldn't see the fault in him - in my head it was all my fault and somehow I was a terrible person to make that wonderful man seeingly dislike me so much. It wasn't a shock when he broke up with me -I should have been the one to do it months before.... I can see that now. I'm also considering that actually... maybe I wasn't at fault as much as I thought. People change. He definately has - he's not the man I fell in love with anymore. When I fell for him he was quiet, and shy, gentlemanly, careful, considerate, open and honest and not at all laddish... and you know what...I loved him just the way he was. Maybe he didn't feel comfortable as he was and I remind him too much of that or he just wants to be more like his new "cool" friends and I don't fit in... I don't know- here is not the place to speculate. Whatever happened I don't blame him, nor myself. Things happen. You love and you lose love. Then in my case, someone else comes along who captures your broken heart and starts to glue it back together, peice by peice and actually makes you feel like a viable human being again... you start to open yourself up to him, and begin to love again- even though a few months beck you felt as if you could never look a man in the eye again- let alone let one into your heart and home. I guess love comes in different forms, ways and means. Just because the first love was explosive and powerful from the word go... it doesn't mean the second one will be. The new honeymoon period is just beginning, and it does feel wonderful and new, different by all means, but still very dear to me. My only wish is to one day find out and understand what really happened to my first love; the one I was forced to make myself forget.
Although we see one another at uni everyday - he wont speak to me now; so hope as I might I doubt answers will come easily. I know I have to get on with my life, I owe it to myself and my current boyfriend. It seems to me that dwelling on the past is futile. I'm sure he konws though, if he ever did decide there was anything he wanted to talk about- he could come to me without worry of insult and resentment ; there is no point in bearing a grudge - though I'll never forget how much he hurt me.
So no trooper6, not everyone lives in a fairytale world and believes in Peter pan; happy endings don't always follow through and love can be lost as easily as it is found.
Sorry for long post!
FAGV xx
I met my (ex) boyfriend for the first time at an interview for the course and uni we now both attend. I knew he was coming because he had said so on (would you believe it) TSR. We had talked briefly on MSN, but nothing too indepth. I an clearly remember sitting in that chair in the Atrium and seeing him walking through the glass sliding doors, in a suit with a red tie. I started to get shy and nervous instantly, and in a funny way I sort of hoped that he wouldn't come over; I didnt know what to say or do...then he looked up and smiled at me, and walked very quickly in my direction - thats when I noticed how attractive he was to me
I couldn't look away. Then He came over and shook my hand introducing himself, did the same to my Dad... then we sat in silence... glancing at one another and smiling every so often rifling through our interview packs.4 or 5 months later of nightly talking on MSN, texting and such, we went to explore our new city (after finding out we had both gotten into that same uni we had met at during interviews) It was then I really started to feel as if I could quite happily spend hours and hours with him; strange as it sounds.... the first thing that really drew me in was the way he said my name. Everytime he said it, it used to make me tingle all over, and grin like a total goon! hehe, we made up so many little private jokes that day, it was great fun!
More trips followed, here there and everywhere (we lived 250ish miles away from one another). Then on a trip to the Peaks, up a cold and windy hill side, he asked to hold my hand. I never wanted to let go. We walked like that practically all day, and finally confessed that we might like to be a little more than friends. By then I knew I was falling in love... but wasn't sure just how deeply. In fact, though it may sound a little odd, I was a bit scared after ourfirst kiss - I didnt know what I was getting myself into, so many questions filled my head that day... but then one evening, we were snuggled up together in his lounge, jut casually making out, and he suddenly blurted out as if he couldn't physically restrain his lips "I love you."
SILENCE.
I just stared at him.... he stared at me.
There was literally nothing passing through my head at that point other than "wow, wow, wow, wow,wow, dear lord girl say it back!!"
So I did. And my goodness did I mean it! I've never felt anything so strong, and so wonderful in my life. Those next few days were so magical and special I just can't even describe them. Leaving him to go home again actually really upset me, even though I knew we'd be seeing one another again very soon at freshers week.
11 months passed.... and somehow things just didn't go according to plan. I'm still not sure what happened... the first 3 months were great, chrismtas came and went.. but then he never seemed to want to meet up anymore, and I was afraid I'd done something wrong; HONEYMOON PERIOD =OVER I tried to get him to talk to me, but he clammed up. The I love you's never got spoken, and I felt as if he didn't want me around anymore, so I backed off and just couldn't find the words to talk to him when we were together; because I felt judged and unwanted, replaced by his new friends. But through all of this I still loved him more than anything else in the world,even though I felt neglected and ignored - I just couldn't see the fault in him - in my head it was all my fault and somehow I was a terrible person to make that wonderful man seeingly dislike me so much. It wasn't a shock when he broke up with me -I should have been the one to do it months before.... I can see that now. I'm also considering that actually... maybe I wasn't at fault as much as I thought. People change. He definately has - he's not the man I fell in love with anymore. When I fell for him he was quiet, and shy, gentlemanly, careful, considerate, open and honest and not at all laddish... and you know what...I loved him just the way he was. Maybe he didn't feel comfortable as he was and I remind him too much of that or he just wants to be more like his new "cool" friends and I don't fit in... I don't know- here is not the place to speculate. Whatever happened I don't blame him, nor myself. Things happen. You love and you lose love. Then in my case, someone else comes along who captures your broken heart and starts to glue it back together, peice by peice and actually makes you feel like a viable human being again... you start to open yourself up to him, and begin to love again- even though a few months beck you felt as if you could never look a man in the eye again- let alone let one into your heart and home. I guess love comes in different forms, ways and means. Just because the first love was explosive and powerful from the word go... it doesn't mean the second one will be. The new honeymoon period is just beginning, and it does feel wonderful and new, different by all means, but still very dear to me. My only wish is to one day find out and understand what really happened to my first love; the one I was forced to make myself forget.
Although we see one another at uni everyday - he wont speak to me now; so hope as I might I doubt answers will come easily. I know I have to get on with my life, I owe it to myself and my current boyfriend. It seems to me that dwelling on the past is futile. I'm sure he konws though, if he ever did decide there was anything he wanted to talk about- he could come to me without worry of insult and resentment ; there is no point in bearing a grudge - though I'll never forget how much he hurt me.
So no trooper6, not everyone lives in a fairytale world and believes in Peter pan; happy endings don't always follow through and love can be lost as easily as it is found.
Sorry for long post!
FAGV xx
(edited 13 years ago)
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