Am I the only one...

...who is completely incapable of getting a girlfriend; and whose girlfriends and infatuations all go on to enjoy long-term relationships with other people without ever seeming to break up?

Put it this way: I am 21 years old, and have been single for 4 years. My ex has been engaged for 3.5 of those 4 years, and that engagement is still going strong. I've been totally over her for ages, but it's frustrating when I know that her engagement is going from strength to strength whilst I have had nothing for all this time. In 4 years, I haven't even been further than hugging a girl.

Two years ago, I had 2 girls going after me simultaneously. I'll admit that I was naive; I tried to play it such that one would lose interest in me after a few weeks, while the other (the one that I sort of liked) would maintain her interest in me. This way I hoped to be able to get into a relationship with her, without hurting the feelings of the other girl. I was too nice unfortunately, but that's just the way my personality is... Of course, this didn't work, and both of them lost interest in me.

But now, 2 years on, what I did has completely backfired. I never went out with either girl. The latter girl's feelings for me faded, and so did mine. But I saw her again a while back, and my feelings for her completely rushed back. Except that I didn't have any chance to tell her because I was at no point alone with her; and in hindsight I'm pretty certain she didn't reciprocate my feelings (I don't know for sure- but the fact that she's now taken would suggest that she didn't...)

I am still infatuated with her :frown:

. I think about her a lot even though I know that I will never be with her and that I have missed a fantastic chance. But she's been in a relationship for at least 2 months now (probably more), and unfortunately my facebook newsfeed from other friends (I deleted her from my newsfeed) - have confirmed to me that, as of yesterday, the relationship was still going strong.

So, needless to say, her relationship is far from over. One year from now, they will probably still be going out, maybe engaged. And yet I haven't had a single girl like me for 2 years. It's not going to change tomorrow. Or the day afterwards. Or the day after that. Or the subsequent weeks. It isn't going to change for me any time soon. I know that I shouldn't say this, but I genuinely hate myself.

Why does it always work out for the people with whom it didn't work out for me? Why do they never seem to break up, whilst I have never been in a relationship for longer than 6 months? My ex (and only girlfriend) has been engaged all this time, and my latest infatuation who I was so, so close to going out with is still going strong with this guy. And yet, statistically, most relationships don't work out.

It really is crap because I feel like the only one that this seems destined to continually happen to :frown:

. Anyone else out there with similar problems?

Oh, and if you're just going to tell me to 'man up' or whatever, I suggest you don't waste your time posting on this thread. I already know :P

Life is short...

Original post by NewEraKid

Life is short...

What's your point?

Reply 3

Jenii

Lower your standards.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Jenii

Lower your standards.

It's a case of girls not liking me- not the other way round...

Reply 5

i.student

Original post by Jenii

Lower your standards.

this.

Reply 6

Climbontoyourseahorse

I know they say that you can't go looking for love, but do you make the effort to go out and meet new people?
Also, most women are very coy about who they like and will rarely let that person in question know. So for all you know, you may have some admirers. When was the last time YOU made the move? Exactly.
Your ex and this girl you like are not everyone. Open your eyes and realise that many people are single or in unhappy relationships.
A bitter and self-pitying attitude is not sexy.

Reply 7

Roo Bix

You need to stop allowing yourself to be so attached to your failures, and to be honest, there are many people out there that would/will have been through something similiar to this.

But the real obstacle:

Original post by Anonymous

And yet I haven't had a single girl like me for 2 years. It's not going to change tomorrow. Or the day afterwards. Or the day after that. Or the subsequent weeks. It isn't going to change for me any time soon. I know that I shouldn't say this, but I genuinely hate myself.

This is a clear example of your putting lots of emphasis on your failures and standing as bachelor. If you don't have any self-belief that you will find someone, why will you? This is rhetorical also, as you beginning the thread says that you must have some desire to better yourself; seeking knowledge and opinion.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse

Fair enough.

Don't really have time to go out as I'm a finalist at uni- but through my years at uni I have been committed to numerous societies and gathered various female friends. But I am always friendzoned whilst all my friends have been in long-term relationships, lost their virginities etc. since the first year. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I'm told that I am physically attractive and have a good personality, so I really don't know why I'm apparently so unattractive. My only explanation is that I'm a bit of a 'nice guy' pussy. And no, I don't show this negative attitude around girls- I act confidently and positively- so it logically can't be my pessimism.

I definitely have not had any admirers for 2 years. Of course a girl isn't going to spell it out to me, but she's going to drop hints at the very least- and I would probably catch her looking at me occasionally. The last hint I had was Summer 2009, and that was on facebook ffs. The last real-life hint was 2 years ago...

But thanks for the advice. I'll act on it where I can.