How to actually stop being a "loser"?

I'm the stereotypical loser - never had a girlfriend, no confidence, no social life, never happy, etc etc.

I've been thinking that maybe I should just lose all hope and continue to assume that I'm just destined to remain alone forever but I don't want to be like this! Is there even any solution to stop being a loser and actually have a good life like normal people do or am I really stuck with being a loser my whole life? :frown:

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Reply 1

username391622

Original post by Anonymous

Are you at college/uni/have a job?

Reply 2

emmabubby

two words: chilll outtttttttttt. stressing about being a loser is probably a large part of what is making you a 'loser'. try and stop worrying about being cool - you say you have no social life, why? are you at uni? are you making the effort to go out? if you stop worrying about what people think about you and just be yourself (cliche i know) but you will be a lot happier. If i was you i would take every oppurtunity that coms your way to go out with people, even if you don't really want to, force yourself. if nothing else, it'll give you experience in social environments and social skills will follow, and boom you are no longer a 'socially inadequete loser'

also, cheer up :smile:

a lot more people worry about this same problem than you realise.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

First year of uni, NOT living in halls if that helps.

Reply 4

soutioirsim

It's hard to get yourself out of that frame of mind. Getting out there and just being yourself is the cure but then thats ALOT easier said than done.

Reply 5

DaveSimpson

Pick a sport and become awesome at it.

Reply 6

amsie/

Original post by Anonymous

what about your friends :frown:

Reply 7

ElementX

A lot of this is to do with self realization. You may have had incidents or events in the past that you interpreted as something that makes you a loser. The first and most important step is for you to tell yourself that you are not, you need to stop dwelling on that. Things like having girl friends or a social life will not get any better if you just sit there and do nothing, you need to get out there!
So basically, we cannot give you step by step guides, most of the work to be done is up to you and your will. Approach people when you can, find a job/hobby and try to figure out what it is that makes you upset.
Hope all goes well. :smile:

Reply 8

ctarling

Original post by Anonymous

Trust me, you're a lot less of a loser than all the people who automatically assume that they're awesome (probably because their mum tells them so)

Reply 9

Dripping

nobody wants to hang around with a prematurely shooting flabby fool, hot the gym

Reply 10

username133326

Original post by DaveSimpson

Pick a sport and become awesome at it.

this tbh...

pretty much how i got out of the loser cycle... though i picked rugby at age 5 and didn't become awesome until age 16 :facepalm:

Reply 11

wanderlust.xx

Stop caring about people who judge you as a loser.

Reply 12

Cuckoo91

Apply to MTV's Made? :biggrin:

Just relax, be yourself and surround yourself with friends with similar interests.

Reply 13

field

Original post by ConservativeTruth

Listen to me.
Maybe go out, join your local Conservative club or something. You need to get something that people want (like a strong right wing political ideology).

Reply 14

LaughingBro

Original post by Anonymous

Funny how you say 'never had a girlfriend' first. It's like that's the most important thing of not being a loser. :facepalm:

You can't even sort out your priorities! Maybe you are really a loser :lol:

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by LaughingBro

Funny how you say 'never had a girlfriend' first. It's like that's the most important thing of not being a loser. :facepalm:

You can't even sort out your priorities! Maybe you are really a loser :lol:

Suggest something then please.

Reply 16

Inversion

See a therapist if your mental state is that bad
Get a job
Get educated
Get interests
Find friends, drawing on said interests
Get money
Go to the gym, play sports

All of above lead naturally to getting a girlfriend, which should be seen as a bonus with all the others being goals.