Need to get my messed up life in order
Hey,
I'm 19, male.
I'm seriously messed up right now, and I'd appreciate any advice you can give me in context.
I work full time at the moment, never went to uni. I earn a fair sum for my age, but nothing great (Certainly for the effort) but I get a good CV citation to say the least (I don't work in a shop or behind a bar, it's a very responsible job).
I messed my A-Levels up. I did quite well at GCSE (2A's 6B's and 2C's), but ended up with an C and an E in A-Level despite being on track for an A, B and a D at AS level. I was never an acedemic, but have significant extra-curricular achivments that would be highly regarded in any professional field. I am capable of quite a lot, but I'm lazy, destitute and depressed right now, and I have been for a long time.
I'm completely unmotivated, I feel I've failed and I'm wraped up in drink and gambling right now. It's higher than it's ever been the last month, but on average I drink about 160 units of alcohol a week.
I gamble a lot too, because I earn a full time wage with little overheads it's easy to justify but it all adds up and it deeply saddens me. I only play online poker, and I'm very good at it (Give me £50 and I'm likely to treble it within the hour) but I am addicted to the thrill and the tilt - I move up the stakes - I then loose, chase my losses by depositing more, and the cycle repeats. In the two years I've played I've lost about £2.2k.
I'm a wreck, I still have my job, but I've been off a lot recently due to proxy depression (I'm depressed, but made up an alternative excuse as to why I cant turn up) the last month.
I was always expected, and expected myself to be somthing, I am capable - but I chronically push my luck too much. I feel like I MUST do something extreme, all or nothing perhaps - to regain what I have lost these last few years. I would happily risk my life for a bit of stability.
I'm not suicidal, but I'm desperate.
I'm 19, male.
I'm seriously messed up right now, and I'd appreciate any advice you can give me in context.
I work full time at the moment, never went to uni. I earn a fair sum for my age, but nothing great (Certainly for the effort) but I get a good CV citation to say the least (I don't work in a shop or behind a bar, it's a very responsible job).
I messed my A-Levels up. I did quite well at GCSE (2A's 6B's and 2C's), but ended up with an C and an E in A-Level despite being on track for an A, B and a D at AS level. I was never an acedemic, but have significant extra-curricular achivments that would be highly regarded in any professional field. I am capable of quite a lot, but I'm lazy, destitute and depressed right now, and I have been for a long time.
I'm completely unmotivated, I feel I've failed and I'm wraped up in drink and gambling right now. It's higher than it's ever been the last month, but on average I drink about 160 units of alcohol a week.
I gamble a lot too, because I earn a full time wage with little overheads it's easy to justify but it all adds up and it deeply saddens me. I only play online poker, and I'm very good at it (Give me £50 and I'm likely to treble it within the hour) but I am addicted to the thrill and the tilt - I move up the stakes - I then loose, chase my losses by depositing more, and the cycle repeats. In the two years I've played I've lost about £2.2k.
I'm a wreck, I still have my job, but I've been off a lot recently due to proxy depression (I'm depressed, but made up an alternative excuse as to why I cant turn up) the last month.
I was always expected, and expected myself to be somthing, I am capable - but I chronically push my luck too much. I feel like I MUST do something extreme, all or nothing perhaps - to regain what I have lost these last few years. I would happily risk my life for a bit of stability.
I'm not suicidal, but I'm desperate.
Scroll to see replies
Could be worse you could be this guy:
Original post by Attlee_party
Could be worse you could be this guy:
Shut up... too cliche for my liking
Talk to a professional.....no-one on TSR is equpped to help you with this other than tell you, just move on and try your best 
Original post by fire2burn
Never too late to try getting some A levels under your belt and then aiming for university. Now you apprechiate the full ****ty reality of having poor qualifications perhaps you can turn that into motivation to make your second attempt at doing something academic more fruitful?
I don't blame my situation on lack of acedemia, the issue cuts deeper for me. Nor would I arbitrarily assign my "qualifications" as poor in context of the overall qualititative value of my experience thus far. They're not even bad, they just don't conform to the shape TSR's communal colon
Original post by UnknwnEntity
Original post by UnknwnEntity
I'm wraped up in drink and gambling right now.
I gamble a lot too, because I earn a full time wage with little overheads it's easy to justify but it all adds up and it deeply saddens me.
I gamble a lot too, because I earn a full time wage with little overheads it's easy to justify but it all adds up and it deeply saddens me.
You don't deserve success if you're this stupid.
Go back to work and keep at your job. Join a local society or take up a sport or something to get you out the house and away from the sites for a while. You've admitted you have gambling/drink problems which is the first step Would you consider going to support meetings or your doctors for help? Hope you sort everything out
Would you consider going to support meetings or your doctors for help? Hope you sort everything out Original post by jumpingjesusholycow
You don't deserve success if you're this stupid.
You don't deserve to breathe if you don't already feel lucky.
Original post by UnknwnEntity
Hey,
I'm 19, male.
I'm seriously messed up right now, and I'd appreciate any advice you can give me in context.
I work full time at the moment, never went to uni. I earn a fair sum for my age, but nothing great (Certainly for the effort) but I get a good CV citation to say the least (I don't work in a shop or behind a bar, it's a very responsible job).
I messed my A-Levels up. I did quite well at GCSE (2A's 6B's and 2C's), but ended up with an C and an E in A-Level despite being on track for an A, B and a D at AS level. I was never an acedemic, but have significant extra-curricular achivments that would be highly regarded in any professional field. I am capable of quite a lot, but I'm lazy, destitute and depressed right now, and I have been for a long time.
I'm completely unmotivated, I feel I've failed and I'm wraped up in drink and gambling right now. It's higher than it's ever been the last month, but on average I drink about 160 units of alcohol a week.
I gamble a lot too, because I earn a full time wage with little overheads it's easy to justify but it all adds up and it deeply saddens me. I only play online poker, and I'm very good at it (Give me £50 and I'm likely to treble it within the hour) but I am addicted to the thrill and the tilt - I move up the stakes - I then loose, chase my losses by depositing more, and the cycle repeats. In the two years I've played I've lost about £2.2k.
I'm a wreck, I still have my job, but I've been off a lot recently due to proxy depression (I'm depressed, but made up an alternative excuse as to why I cant turn up) the last month.
I was always expected, and expected myself to be somthing, I am capable - but I chronically push my luck too much. I feel like I MUST do something extreme, all or nothing perhaps - to regain what I have lost these last few years. I would happily risk my life for a bit of stability.
I'm not suicidal, but I'm desperate.
I'm 19, male.
I'm seriously messed up right now, and I'd appreciate any advice you can give me in context.
I work full time at the moment, never went to uni. I earn a fair sum for my age, but nothing great (Certainly for the effort) but I get a good CV citation to say the least (I don't work in a shop or behind a bar, it's a very responsible job).
I messed my A-Levels up. I did quite well at GCSE (2A's 6B's and 2C's), but ended up with an C and an E in A-Level despite being on track for an A, B and a D at AS level. I was never an acedemic, but have significant extra-curricular achivments that would be highly regarded in any professional field. I am capable of quite a lot, but I'm lazy, destitute and depressed right now, and I have been for a long time.
I'm completely unmotivated, I feel I've failed and I'm wraped up in drink and gambling right now. It's higher than it's ever been the last month, but on average I drink about 160 units of alcohol a week.
I gamble a lot too, because I earn a full time wage with little overheads it's easy to justify but it all adds up and it deeply saddens me. I only play online poker, and I'm very good at it (Give me £50 and I'm likely to treble it within the hour) but I am addicted to the thrill and the tilt - I move up the stakes - I then loose, chase my losses by depositing more, and the cycle repeats. In the two years I've played I've lost about £2.2k.
I'm a wreck, I still have my job, but I've been off a lot recently due to proxy depression (I'm depressed, but made up an alternative excuse as to why I cant turn up) the last month.
I was always expected, and expected myself to be somthing, I am capable - but I chronically push my luck too much. I feel like I MUST do something extreme, all or nothing perhaps - to regain what I have lost these last few years. I would happily risk my life for a bit of stability.
I'm not suicidal, but I'm desperate.
So what? Do you seriously think someone one TSR would help you out with it? lmfao!
Original post by llpokermuffinll
So what? Do you seriously think someone one TSR would help you out with it? lmfao!
Someone may have a similar experience, this is the internet... I don't expect anything out of this, but I've bet with my own time.
What exactly do you want to do?
Get better qualifications?...either re do A levels or do open university
Stop gambling?...I guess if you cant do it on your own a support group would be the right thing
Stop being depressed?...doctors would probably be the place to go
Get better qualifications?...either re do A levels or do open university
Stop gambling?...I guess if you cant do it on your own a support group would be the right thing
Stop being depressed?...doctors would probably be the place to go
Original post by morecambebay
What exactly do you want to do?
Get better qualifications?...either re do A levels or do open university
Stop gambling?...I guess if you cant do it on your own a support group would be the right thing
Stop being depressed?...doctors would probably be the place to go
Get better qualifications?...either re do A levels or do open university
Stop gambling?...I guess if you cant do it on your own a support group would be the right thing
Stop being depressed?...doctors would probably be the place to go
I don't even know where to start though. I feel abbandoned and lost after the relative shelter of state education.
Original post by UnknwnEntity
Original post by UnknwnEntity
You don't deserve to breathe if you don't already feel lucky.
You're asking people for help and telling people they don't deserve to breathe?
Original post by UnknwnEntity
I don't even know where to start though. I feel abbandoned and lost after the relative shelter of state education.
Well, as long as you stay away from coursework, re doing A levels is pretty simple. You just download a syllabus from an examining bodies website, learn the material either online or from textbooks you can buy from amazon, and then ask a school if they will let you sit the exams as an external candidate.
For Open Uni, all you would need to do would be pick a course and register. Depending on how much you earn you may be able to get financial support, so you might have to fill in a few forms..but nothing particularly complicated.
Original post by jumpingjesusholycow
You're asking people for help and telling people they don't deserve to breathe?
If you read, you will see that you impied it was stupid to gamble by default in no uncertain terms.
I implied that the impulse to gamble (even in a semi-skill game like poker) - feeling lucky - is somthing you simply must take for granted (Living), because "you" are very lucky to even exist. Hence the motif of my comment, please do not to fabricate straw man fallacies http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man in attempt to derail. I am not accountable for your ineptitude.
Original post by UnknwnEntity
Hey,
I'm 19, male.
I'm 19, male.
You're still a 'teenager' dude & judging by your 'accent' you're hitting quite a few years above your age.
Give yourself the space to figure things out. You're already earning 2.2K too much; can you switch to part-time & spend few more hours on yourself?
You've admitted there is a problem, and that's a great step to take in itself. Even more, you do want to change- so the willpower to do so shouldn't be a problem
One thing that would help you out I think is to establish what you want- I mean what you REALLY want, both short term and long term out of your life. Don't just dream about it- write it down. It sounds silly I know, but by doing this you are re-enforcing it in your own mind...it's no longer just a thought but a material thing. I mean it's new year's eve in a couple of days...so spend these next two days figuring out precisely what you want out of each area of your life: financially, relationship wise, career, health.
This way you'll have something to work towards and regain that feeling of purpose and will find it easier to stop being "lazy".
If the depression is getting in the way of you being able to do things- speak to someone. Doctor, friend, family...a word of warning is that friends and family won't always understand so it's best you just have a chat with your gp. Or find your own way of dealing with it that is not self-destructive (i.e. NOT drinking/gambling). Sport? Keep a diary?
I hope you get through this alright, feel free to pm me if you want, I don't mind helping in any way I can.
One thing that would help you out I think is to establish what you want- I mean what you REALLY want, both short term and long term out of your life. Don't just dream about it- write it down. It sounds silly I know, but by doing this you are re-enforcing it in your own mind...it's no longer just a thought but a material thing. I mean it's new year's eve in a couple of days...so spend these next two days figuring out precisely what you want out of each area of your life: financially, relationship wise, career, health.
This way you'll have something to work towards and regain that feeling of purpose and will find it easier to stop being "lazy".
If the depression is getting in the way of you being able to do things- speak to someone. Doctor, friend, family...a word of warning is that friends and family won't always understand so it's best you just have a chat with your gp. Or find your own way of dealing with it that is not self-destructive (i.e. NOT drinking/gambling). Sport? Keep a diary?
I hope you get through this alright, feel free to pm me if you want, I don't mind helping in any way I can.
If it makes you feel better, I've been depressed for a while and I really messed up my A Levels too, but at least you have a job 
. I dunno, maybe you could come to TSR's Depression Society to chat with others who also feel down and could offer some advice?Original post by UnknwnEntity
Original post by UnknwnEntity
If you read, you will see that you impied it was stupid to gamble by default in no uncertain terms.
I implied that the impulse to gamble (even in a semi-skill game like poker) - feeling lucky - is somthing you simply must take for granted (Living), because "you" are very lucky to even exist. Hence the motif of my comment, please do not to fabricate straw man fallacies http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man in attempt to derail. I am not accountable for your ineptitude.
I implied that the impulse to gamble (even in a semi-skill game like poker) - feeling lucky - is somthing you simply must take for granted (Living), because "you" are very lucky to even exist. Hence the motif of my comment, please do not to fabricate straw man fallacies http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man in attempt to derail. I am not accountable for your ineptitude.
And I implied anyone stupid enough to ask for help, whilst seemingly being stupid enough not to see that gambling is stupid and only making his problems worse, is an absolute moron. No wonder you're stuck in a crevice. People like you should stay where you are so the rest of us can enjoy a good existence
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