Would you consider this slutty?
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Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17, and want to wait for the right guy to have sex, but am happy doing other things (giving head etc). I'm not good in relationships (trust issues, long story that isn't worth going into/people won't bother to read a long post on here 
), but I figure, as a single girl, kissing as many guys as I like is fine (on holiday, nights out etc). I've also given head to three guys in total. To me, that isn't bad at all (!!!), especially compared to a lot of girls in our sixth form, but my friends think it's really slutty and they bring it up a lot. Only one of them is a virgin. My question in this badly put ramble is, am I right in being completely confused by their feelings?
(obv. anon because I know people on here)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
), but I figure, as a single girl, kissing as many guys as I like is fine (on holiday, nights out etc). I've also given head to three guys in total. To me, that isn't bad at all (!!!), especially compared to a lot of girls in our sixth form, but my friends think it's really slutty and they bring it up a lot. Only one of them is a virgin. My question in this badly put ramble is, am I right in being completely confused by their feelings? (obv. anon because I know people on here)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
If your friends had sex in relationships then maybe the reason they think you're slutty is because you get with RANDOM guys. You keep mentioning giving head - I hope you get it back!
Original post by lovely_me
What? I was obviously talking about adults, above the age of consent. Obviously not >16 year olds. 
Why is it a bad thing she has given more head than the average girl her age? Can you answer the question I put to you: why is it a bad thing to have lots of sex if both parties are happy if the arrangement?
She didn't admit it. She's bad with relationships. Lots of people are, who aren't insecure. You're just jumping to conclusions.
Why is it a bad thing she has given more head than the average girl her age? Can you answer the question I put to you: why is it a bad thing to have lots of sex if both parties are happy if the arrangement?
She didn't admit it. She's bad with relationships. Lots of people are, who aren't insecure. You're just jumping to conclusions.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
I enjoy it, and to the many that asked, no it's not a one sided thing. I give and I get when I want to, because just because I don't want a relationship doesn't mean I don't enjoy sexual activities, or that I don't want them. And for the record, I kiss as many guys as I like, not can. I do know how to say no. But thanks everyone for their opinions- we're typically a group of friends who shares a lot, hence knowing about each others sex lives, but I think maybe I'm just going to have fun and keep it to myself from now on. But cheers everyone- was interesting to see stuff from a different point of view.
Original post by rhinger
Er, what's the point of saving your virginity if you're giving head? I'd tend to think giving head shows you to be more worthless than actual sex.
Why?
(Just interested in your view
)Original post by Anonymous
Why?
(Just interested in your view)
(Just interested in your view
)I don't know, it's just that it seems like girls are more hesitant to give head rather than having actual sex.
Original post by rhinger
I don't know, it's just that it seems like girls are more hesitant to give head rather than having actual sex.
Maybe it's because sex is more enjoyable for most girls than giving head?!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17, and want to wait for the right guy to have sex, but am happy doing other things (giving head etc). I'm not good in relationships (trust issues, long story that isn't worth going into/people won't bother to read a long post on here ), but I figure, as a single girl, kissing as many guys as I like is fine (on holiday, nights out etc). I've also given head to three guys in total. To me, that isn't bad at all (!!!), especially compared to a lot of girls in our sixth form, but my friends think it's really slutty and they bring it up a lot. Only one of them is a virgin. My question in this badly put ramble is, am I right in being completely confused by their feelings?
(obv. anon because I know people on here)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
), but I figure, as a single girl, kissing as many guys as I like is fine (on holiday, nights out etc). I've also given head to three guys in total. To me, that isn't bad at all (!!!), especially compared to a lot of girls in our sixth form, but my friends think it's really slutty and they bring it up a lot. Only one of them is a virgin. My question in this badly put ramble is, am I right in being completely confused by their feelings? (obv. anon because I know people on here)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
You seem quite well behaved compared to the girls in my sixth form. I think you should be proud whatever you do an strut your stuff confidently.
Theres nothing to be 'confused' about - they consider your behaviour slutty, you don't. Simple 
Kissing isn't slutty. But oral sex is still sex and you can still catch STDs that way....
Original post by rhinger
Er, what's the point of saving your virginity if you're giving head? I'd tend to think giving head shows you to be more worthless than actual sex.
I kind of agree with this....but I don't think "worthless" is this word......but to me, oral sex is probably more intimate than sexual intercourse, as you are doing it solely to please your partner, the other doesn't get physical pleasure from it (wheras both do from sex)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17, and want to wait for the right guy to have sex, but am happy doing other things (giving head etc). I'm not good in relationships (trust issues, long story that isn't worth going into/people won't bother to read a long post on here ), but I figure, as a single girl, kissing as many guys as I like is fine (on holiday, nights out etc). I've also given head to three guys in total. To me, that isn't bad at all (!!!), especially compared to a lot of girls in our sixth form, but my friends think it's really slutty and they bring it up a lot. Only one of them is a virgin. My question in this badly put ramble is, am I right in being completely confused by their feelings?
(obv. anon because I know people on here)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
), but I figure, as a single girl, kissing as many guys as I like is fine (on holiday, nights out etc). I've also given head to three guys in total. To me, that isn't bad at all (!!!), especially compared to a lot of girls in our sixth form, but my friends think it's really slutty and they bring it up a lot. Only one of them is a virgin. My question in this badly put ramble is, am I right in being completely confused by their feelings? (obv. anon because I know people on here)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
At the risk of sounding like an unpleasant person...
Yes I would consider that to be 'slutty': 'giving head' has always struck me as a little undignified. It seems a bit servile somehow. People do much worse I suppose, if your comparing yourself to the incredibly skanky.
It's good if you haven't had sex. I always thought the other stuff came next...
So that makes you a bit less ummm 'slutty' by my estimation. I guess if your friends don't 'give head' they might be asserting a form of superiority over you.
Personally - I would advise not doing the dodgy stuff again. I'm sure you're a nice girl, you are much better off keeping yourself to yourself a little more - particularly if you want to wait for the right guy. The right guy might be put off if you have a reputation.
Original post by alicebytemperley
Maybe it's because sex is more enjoyable for most girls than giving head?!
Original post by *Dreaming*
I kind of agree with this....but I don't think "worthless" is this word......but to me, oral sex is probably more intimate than sexual intercourse, as you are doing it solely to please your partner, the other doesn't get physical pleasure from it (wheras both do from sex)
Ey Alice, I meant what Dreaming said.
Nothing slutty about that!
From the sounds of it, you're enjoying yourself so I don't see the problem and as for other people thinking you're slutty, just remember - you only answer to yourself at the end of the day. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, then you ain't doing nothing wrong.
From the sounds of it, you're enjoying yourself so I don't see the problem
and as for other people thinking you're slutty, just remember - you only answer to yourself at the end of the day. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, then you ain't doing nothing wrong.Original post by *Lollo*
Do what you're comfortable with.
Can I ask why you want to wait with having sex though? You seem a bit self-destructive as you continue avoiding only the forms of sexual intimacy that will give you any physical pleasure, and only perform services to others.
Can I ask why you want to wait with having sex though? You seem a bit self-destructive as you continue avoiding only the forms of sexual intimacy that will give you any physical pleasure, and only perform services to others.
I got sexually assaulted a while back (not raped) but it's left me weary when it comes to guys, and so I don't want a relationship and all the trusting and whatever that comes with. But- I do get turned on, and I do enjoy kissing and having fun, so for now, I do everything but sex, because I consider that a step to be had when you're in a relationship (though obs. everyone has their different views on whether head or sex are more intimate, but for me, sex is the more personal), but when I give head, I get stuff back so it's for me too.
My friends dont know about anything that happened, but to me, I don't think I need a reason to be acting as I am, as I see it more as enjoying myself without sex than getting on every guy I can. If that makes sense?
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