How has mental illness affected your life?

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Also, anyone who does regular exercise - how does it help your mental condition?

For me it varies, sometimes it makes me feel a bit better (must be the endorphins and things), other times it makes me feel worse. It's a bit hit and miss if I'm honest. I visit the gym a few times a week and sometimes the stress of being around so many people can make me feel even worse rather than better.

Reply 201

Anonymous #29

Original post by gemma249

Your circumstances are really hard, and I really feel for you and sympathise with you. It really is a hard thing to go through, and noone who hasn't experienced it can ever really imagine what it's like. Have you been to see anyone to see if you can get help? Though it doesn't work for everyone (it didn't for me) some people I know have had great results.
You are certainly not lazy or scrounging, there is a massive gap between being lazy and not being able to get up because you feel so awful. You wouldn't say having flu is being lazy, and nor is this.

I have a couple of ideas for you, if I may? I know you say you can't get the motivation to get a job, which I totally sympathise with. However, I think the key feeling is to feel WANTED. So what about doing some volunteering or something? Knowing you're making a difference to other people can sometimes help you get up. Perhaps try a local charity shop, or St John's ambulance, or a care home, or home for disabled children. Or simply google volunteering in your area. If you're on a gap year or whatever, you might have enough time to try like the NSPCC or Childline or something? They'd be so grateful for any help you could give I'm sure!

I really hope things get better for you :smile:

Thank you. Oh god you're making me cry again! In a good way though (?) haha

yeah I have been really interested in doing voluntary work, especially as (this may sound silly) I feel my depression has made me much more compassionate and I would love to help out other people. I also feel that it would be much less pressured and would give me some work experiance as I have had very little.

The only problem is the face that I have literally no income. I'm living with my boyfriends parents and there is so much pressure on him for money, which is hard as he is in education. He has been brilliant and understanding but he's getting fed up with providing for me (which is completely understandable) so I do meed some sort of income. I am applying for job seekers (for money and in the hope it will motivate me to find work).

THANK YOU

Reply 202

gemma249

Original post by Anonymous

Haha that's alright. It sounds like doing a bit of voluntary work would be good for you. I did 2 1/2 years in an Oxfam shop when I was 15-17 or so, and I found it actually has helped me no end since. Unless you're totally and utterly useless they can't really complain about you so it's a great way to get a good reference for a job. Try asking round and see if you can find something you'd be interested in, places are usually desperate for help! Then it's something to add to your CV, and finding a job might be easier.

I can understand that you must feel you're a bit of a burden on your boyfriend's family, but by doing something like getting a job or being proactive shows you're trying and they will definitely appreciate that. Even if you don't feel up to a full time job, you could think about a part time job, or even something like babysitting?

I know I've gone on about this kind of thing for ages, but I only am because as a sufferer of depression since goodness knows how long, now that I've turned 18 there are more job opportunities - and I work 2 jobs on top of my full time at college doing A Levels and I babysit and tutor nearly every week, and in all honesty, they're my favourite things that I do. Knowing people depend on you to be somewhere is a nice feeling! (And you get money. Super bonus!)

Other things that help are exercise (though I'm a bit lazy and don't do much, but I'd like to be less lazy and do more!) and generally being busy - revising for exams and being stressed is better than miserable in my opinion!

Having said that, I follow all my own advice... and I'm still not better! So there are probably avenues out there I haven't explored.

All the best

Reply 203

Anonymous #12

Original post by fire2burn

Hi,

Hope ya don't mind me asking; but because you suffer from Psychosis, do you think this has been induced by the use of drugs? (If you've taken any in the past, I'm not assuming you have, but if so, do you think this has caused the mental illness?)

Whats your official diagnosis been? I bet it's always changing!

Reply 204

Anonymous #3

over 250 scars/cuts on my left forearm.

Finding a job is going to be fun. :frown:

Reply 205

Anonymous #33

Original post by Anonymous

In so many ways..judging by other posters in here, unfortunately some mental illnesses seem to trigger others, or at least make you more susceptible to them. I've had mild depression, that led to bulimia when I was 16-17. Now I've found out I have AvPD (avoidance personality disorder). I cry at the slightest criticism, spent all of secondary school crying in class if a teacher told me off for something really minor such as not doing the homework. I thought I was just an overly sensitive person but the fact that no-one else acted like this made me realise I'm not normal. I can't call people or answer phone calls. I'm looking for a job currently but that problem makes it hard because I get so nervous when calling people, I feel like I'm going to be sick. The only people I can bear to call are my parents. I don't have many friends because I fear rejection if I invite them to do something. All of this makes my depression worse. I've started missing crits (I go to art school and we have crits every thursday) because I am so terrified about the smallest of negative feedback about my work, and I'd be so embarrassed if I started crying in front of the whole class. I feel like such a weak person :frown:

This is just the same as me :O The last crit we had i started to cry so left quickly and went into the library to cry. I tried cycling with my boyfriend last week and it got so achy towards the end... I didn't want to keep going and eventually just burst into tears every 5 minutes and eventually had a panic attack after getting all worked up over not wanting to be boring or let him down. I can't really call people anyway, except my boyfriend.

Reply 206

Anonymous #34

After reading this thread, I think/am hoping, that it has helped me realise that I DO have problems and I need to sort them out.

I'm 19 now but from the age of 12 was diagnosed with anorexia (although I was also bulimic but never told anyone). To make things more complicated, I am diabetic, and kept my blood scores and dangerously high levels for years (still do) in order to keep my weight low. Just a quick explanation: basically with high blood everything gets flushed through your system really quickly and you urinate everything out almost immediately - gross I know!

It got to the extent when I ended up with kidney damage at age 16 and spent a few months in hospital. After hospital, I was referred to a psychologist and saw her until I was 17 but for the last 2 years I haven't had professional help. Whilst I was seeing the psychologist my weight did increase to an almost healthy level, but now I'm not under care, I keep relapsing. Right now, I'm eating no more than a piece of fruit a day.

I don't really know why I'm writing all of this, I suppose reading everyones problems makes me feel that I need to admit I do have a problem. I've always refused to believe it in the past... hmm... maybe I'll go ahead and call my doctors. Tell them I'm not eating and my blood sugars are high 24/7... but I'm scared of what they'll say/do to me.

Anyway rant over.... I feel surprisingly better now :smile:

Reply 207

gemma249

Original post by Anonymous

I'm really glad this thread has helped you - it makes you realise that you're certainly not alone in this! Our little society of TSR mentally ill people, we're all in this together! :smile:

. I really hope you feel able to go to your doctor now, remember that they are there to help you and listen and do their best for you. That is their job, and why they became a doctor!

I've never really understood anorexia, probably because I can eat for England, but I had a friend who suffered from it and a relative too, so I have seen how hard it is. I hope you win your battle against it! :smile:

Reply 208

fire2burn

Original post by Anonymous

My official diagnosis has changed like the winds, different psychiatrists have different opinions. Depression with psychotic features, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, schizo-affective disorder. Currently my diagnosis stands as borderline personality disorder with a note added that I experience psychosis when not on medication. I really don't understand these quack doctors.

My psychosis is not drug related no, if it was it would be a lot easier to treat unfortunately.

Reply 209

Anonymous #12

Original post by fire2burn

Have you ever taken ANY illicit drugs?

Where do you see your future going? Isn't schizophrenia just permanent psychosis?

Reply 210

riotgrrl

I've had problems with self harm and anxiety. I'm pretty much ok now, I got it under control. For a while it affected my life quite badly, missed a lot of school, had a lot of problems with my parents but now stuff's pretty normal and I haven't had an anxiety attack in a while.

Reply 211

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Original post by Anonymous

Have you ever taken ANY illicit drugs?

Where do you see your future going? Isn't schizophrenia just permanent psychosis?

I know you're not asking me but I suffer from psychosis too and I've not taken any drugs, ever smoked and I rarely take alcohol. It's literally just been a case of "**** happens" :yes:

Reply 212

DarkWhite

My ex-girlfriend had a few mental illness issues which worsened towards the end of the relationship. It was difficult because we'd both gone to separate universities in the September of the year, and it became really difficult for me to deal with. In the end, it wasn't really working between us. Knowing her past though, I couldn't just leave her for knowing what she'd be likely to do. I had to talk with her Dad a lot to help me get her to see a doctor about it all, because she wouldn't listen to me, or the nurse in her university. It was really hard to do at the time. She seems much better now though :smile:

Reply 213

Anonymous #35

My housemate at uni has OCD and is getting counselling for it. I actually think she's got some other underlying issues since some of the stuff she's said that she's done its a bit like 'oo-er'. It's sort of like a social anxiety type thing which has reared it's head recently. When she's not having an episode (it's what she calls them) she's actually an amazing person.

She had a session yesterday with her counsellor and she was the most optimistic I'd seen her since we started back in September. It's rather nice to see her with a spring in her step again :smile:

Reply 214

Anonymous #36

I've had depression and self-esteem issues for the last 3 and a half years, my parents don't know - I've coped okay. Some days it's worse than others, mainly when I'm stressed or upset it comes back full force for a couple of days, but lately it seems to have lifted a bit and I'm learning to like myself :smile:

Reply 215

Anonymous #37

I have clinical depression and social anxiety, and I think it started to manifest when I was in Year 9 at school when everything in my life, particularly at school, changed too fast and I lost friends, started getting severely bullied, started putting on weight, etc. The problem is, nobody ever really helped me, and I never helped myself either. Instead I started staying in the house more and I joined an online game (Habbo lol) which I was pretty much addicted to until when I nearly finished Year 11. I didn't get as good as GCSE results as I wanted, although I didn't do THAT badly (B's and C's) and I'm still pretty much a recluse. I was burned out by the time I started sixth form, where I utterly screwed up my AS year and I'm not doing as good as I should be in college. I have the ability, but not the motivation. I get irrational moments of being afraid so I get anxious and don't come in a lot, or I'm too tired/depressed to, hence why I'm taking a break from education next year. Soo. Yeah. Lost friends, gained weight, now more afraid of social situations then ever.

The worst thing is I guess, that’s only half my problem. I’ve got scars all over my body from self-harm, one on my stomach, few on my legs and some on my arms. It was down to my own stupidity. I don’t know how I ever bought into it, but I was addicted to self-harm. I’ve attempted suicide twice, an overdose, which just left me feeling as if I was hungover and couldn’t sleep (I never went to hospital, though) and, well, this wasn’t really an attempt but more of a want, but I wanted to throw myself off a multi-storey carpark when I was 17. Unfortunately, I got spotted by live CCTV cameras who contacted the police and I was arrested under the Mental Health Act, which isn’t a criminal thing at all, but I was held in a police cell for 6 hours with a police officer guarding my cell until I was assessed by a Shrink, a GP and a social worker who sent me to a psych ward for the weekend, voluntarily that is, though.

I’m a bit better from then now, obviously, but I found out that situation with the police could be recorded if I ever need an enhanced CRB disclosure, despite the fact it’s not a criminal record, but it could be seen as ‘additional relevant information’, so there’s a chance that might be used against me some day. It’s certainly not positive information about me is it?

Butttt I digress.

Reply 216

Anonymous #12

Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd

I know you're not asking me but I suffer from psychosis too and I've not taken any drugs, ever smoked and I rarely take alcohol. It's literally just been a case of "**** happens" :yes:

Yeah I suppose that's one way of looking at it!

I don't understand psychosis though...what do you actually experience, like would you believe you're Jesus, or you're a famous football player and you actually believe these thoughts?

Please could you tell me a couple of your psychotic experiences so I canbegin to understand them?

:smile:

Reply 217

eaasy

Original post by Anonymous

I've had psychosis, so perhaps i can shed abit of light on what it's like to have it.

You start thinking crazy thought a few examples that i had was that i thought that i thought i was going to die, then i started to get really paranoid about everything going on around me, i started to believe my house was bugged with cameras and microphones which were link to national tv, radio and the press. I was watching tv thinking they were talking directly about me and listening to radio thinking it was all for me. As my psychosis worsened i could get no sleep and genuinely thought i was going to die. I started getting really emotional shouting at my parents 'i don't want to die' then as i got worse i asked my dad if he knew anyone who could kill me because i didnt want to carry on like this. When the doctors came and gave me a tablet i thought it genuinely was a suicide pill and i wrote my last words, which must have been heart braking for my parents to read in the morning.
After this because i thought the house was bugged and i thought everyone had seen my antics the night before on tv (because i thought my house was being live streamed on the whole countries televisions) i thought that all murderers were after me to put me out of my misery. Then i started to think that the whole of my town had moved away and the army had moved in for my protection. it was a truly terrifying experience and i couldnt get hardly any sleep as i sat up worrying all night about when i was going to die.

Overall, you feel paranoid about everything that goes on around you and believe it all relates to you, you start making things up which make sense in your head so to make everything apply to you.
I had shocking memory, i would literally forget things 30 seconds later after being told something, i couldnt focus or concentrate on anything to do simple tasks such as making a cup of tea. I would get confused and forget to put milk or sugar in etc. It's like your head is constantly spinning.
Slowly with the aid of medication i started to pull out of psychosis much to the relief of my family, how i didnt get hospitalised i will never know.

Has anyone one else had psychotic experiences? if you'd like to share them..?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 218

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Original post by Anonymous

Well I was completely convinced that my uni tutors were trying to kill me and was absolutely terrified. I don't know how I even got that idea but I genuinely believed it for quite a few days and was on edge the whole time. When I told one of my tutors a year later, he was quite concerned by it.

Other things include hearing voices, thinking people are projecting thoughts into my head and feeling "someone" banging on the inside of my ribcage, trying to get out of my body :yes: