How to approach a girl in public?
Is it even wise to approach a girl in public? or would it be considered somewhat desperate? I saw this absolutely gorgeous girl in Tesco today, and I wanted to go up and talk to her but I couldn't muster up the courage. This has happened far too many times, I am bored of being such a coward and loser at life. I want to change and go for it. I am also pretty sure she was giving me signals.
If you wanted to approach a girl in public, or just say hi/complement them, how would you go about doing it? What would you say? If I were to "be myself", I would say "Hi, I hope I don't come across to too creepy, but I think you're absolutely gorgeous, what's your name?" - would this seem too creepy/desperate?
If you wanted to approach a girl in public, or just say hi/complement them, how would you go about doing it? What would you say? If I were to "be myself", I would say "Hi, I hope I don't come across to too creepy, but I think you're absolutely gorgeous, what's your name?" - would this seem too creepy/desperate?
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Original post by Anonymous
Is it even wise to approach a girl in public? or would it be considered somewhat desperate? I saw this absolutely gorgeous girl in Tesco today, and I wanted to go up and talk to her but I couldn't muster up the courage. This has happened far too many times, I am bored of being such a coward and loser at life. I want to change and go for it. I am also pretty sure she was giving me signals.
If you wanted to approach a girl in public, or just say hi/complement them, how would you go about doing it? What would you say? If I were to "be myself", I would say "Hi, I hope I don't come across to too creepy, but I think you're absolutely gorgeous, what's your name?" - would this seem too creepy/desperate?
If you wanted to approach a girl in public, or just say hi/complement them, how would you go about doing it? What would you say? If I were to "be myself", I would say "Hi, I hope I don't come across to too creepy, but I think you're absolutely gorgeous, what's your name?" - would this seem too creepy/desperate?
Yes.
... I have no advice to offer.
That last bit was a little creepy. I find it works best if you just generally chat to her, about anything, then when she's comfortable ask her about herself etc. As to complimenting her, wait until a bit later, e.g. next time you speak to her. While it's flattering, it's very awkward.
Edit: meh, this is obviously imo.
Edit: meh, this is obviously imo.
(edited 13 years ago)
Well, unless you are really suave and good looking, or lucky, its gonna come across as " Hello, I find you sexually attractive, intercourse?". Say something else.
Look at them (but don't stare), if you catch her eye then smile. If she smiles back, an approach would be welcome (though not necessarily the case ALL the time, but you can never be 100% sure of anything in such situations).
If she looks away or doesn't respond well to your smile then you know she's not interested...without having to even embarrass yourself or make a nerve-racking effort.
If she looks away or doesn't respond well to your smile then you know she's not interested...without having to even embarrass yourself or make a nerve-racking effort.
ffs
do not ever begin a conversation with "hey i'm sorry if this is creepy..."
or "i know this might seem a little creepy..."
or "i know i look like a bit of a sex offender, but..."
just don't
don't you get that the instant you say that, her first impression of you is an association with "creepy"? it doesn't matter if you're saying you're not creepy: it's a very strong word and she will remember "creepy" far longer than "not". by the end of your silly little speech you'll have lost all hope.
real talk
do not ever begin a conversation with "hey i'm sorry if this is creepy..."
or "i know this might seem a little creepy..."
or "i know i look like a bit of a sex offender, but..."
just don't
don't you get that the instant you say that, her first impression of you is an association with "creepy"? it doesn't matter if you're saying you're not creepy: it's a very strong word and she will remember "creepy" far longer than "not". by the end of your silly little speech you'll have lost all hope.
real talk
People do this, and i've seen posts from the likes of Neil_K (user on here) who do it often. I mean, think about it. It's a lot less creepy than approaching someone whilst drunk isn't it. It shows you have balls and confidence, and that is what girls look for in guys.
My advice is to do it but never overthink. As long as you approach a girl confidently and with strong eye contact you will do fine. Obviously your success rate will never be 100%. Variables such as shyness, having a bf, being in a rush etc. means that no one in this world could ever have a 100% success rate from this. You'll only come across creepy if you aren't confident and don't make an effort with your appearance. Being well groomed with nice clothes and confidence will get you a date or 2 or more if you approached say 10 girls i would say easy.
Life's too short for regrets. That's how i see it. Will you ever see that person again too? Unlikely, and they won't think anything less of you if they see you again. But the opposite.
Approach with a simple greeting and immediately say you're attracted to her and exchange names and then you can make conversation. If she stays then she's in for you.
My advice is to do it but never overthink. As long as you approach a girl confidently and with strong eye contact you will do fine. Obviously your success rate will never be 100%. Variables such as shyness, having a bf, being in a rush etc. means that no one in this world could ever have a 100% success rate from this. You'll only come across creepy if you aren't confident and don't make an effort with your appearance. Being well groomed with nice clothes and confidence will get you a date or 2 or more if you approached say 10 girls i would say easy.
Life's too short for regrets. That's how i see it. Will you ever see that person again too? Unlikely, and they won't think anything less of you if they see you again. But the opposite.
Approach with a simple greeting and immediately say you're attracted to her and exchange names and then you can make conversation. If she stays then she's in for you.
(edited 13 years ago)
Just go for it, not with the 'creepy' line though.
Open with a joke, or a non-obvious compliment (like, if she has amazing eyes, she'll get that all the time so go for something else).. It's far nicer being chatted up by a non-drunk person and even if nothing comes of it, it will give both of you some confidence/cheer for the day
Open with a joke, or a non-obvious compliment (like, if she has amazing eyes, she'll get that all the time so go for something else).. It's far nicer being chatted up by a non-drunk person and even if nothing comes of it, it will give both of you some confidence/cheer for the day
Original post by Wilzyy
That last bit was a little creepy. I find it works best if you just generally chat to her, about anything, then when she's comfortable ask her about herself etc. As to complimenting her, wait until a bit later, e.g. next time you speak to her. While it's flattering, it's very awkward.
Hi, I hope I don't come across to too creepy, but I think you're absolutely amazing, what's your name?
Oh I'm so not witty.
oh look by the fact that you are reaching for the bolognaise sauce I instantly see that we are sole mates.
the reason people think it is "creepy" is that there is about 0% chance that you have anything remotey in common except for shopping in the same supermarket so the only reason you are chatting them up is to get into their knickers. So unless you are really really hot it's probably going to end badly.
on the other hand if it was a public art gallery for example then that is different since there is at least a tenuous sense that you have similar interests. fact.
the reason people think it is "creepy" is that there is about 0% chance that you have anything remotey in common except for shopping in the same supermarket so the only reason you are chatting them up is to get into their knickers. So unless you are really really hot it's probably going to end badly.
on the other hand if it was a public art gallery for example then that is different since there is at least a tenuous sense that you have similar interests. fact.
See Joey From Friends:
"Hooooow YOU Doing!"
"Hooooow YOU Doing!"
Original post by Gob Bluth
People do this, and i've seen posts from the likes of Neil_K (user on here) who do it often. I mean, think about it. It's a lot less creepy than approaching someone whilst drunk isn't it. It shows you have balls and confidence, and that is what girls look for in guys.
My advice is to do it but never overthink. As long as you approach a girl confidently and with strong eye contact you will do fine. Obviously your success rate will never be 100%. Variables such as shyness, having a bf, being in a rush etc. means that no one in this world could ever have a 100% success rate from this. You'll only come across creepy if you aren't confident and don't make an effort with your appearance. Being well groomed with nice clothes and confidence will get you a date or 2 or more if you approached say 10 girls i would say easy.
Life's too short for regrets. That's how i see it. Will you ever see that person again too? Unlikely, and they won't think anything less of you if they see you again. But the opposite.
Approach with a simple greeting and immediately say you're attracted to her and exchange names and then you can make conversation. If she stays then she's in for you.
My advice is to do it but never overthink. As long as you approach a girl confidently and with strong eye contact you will do fine. Obviously your success rate will never be 100%. Variables such as shyness, having a bf, being in a rush etc. means that no one in this world could ever have a 100% success rate from this. You'll only come across creepy if you aren't confident and don't make an effort with your appearance. Being well groomed with nice clothes and confidence will get you a date or 2 or more if you approached say 10 girls i would say easy.
Life's too short for regrets. That's how i see it. Will you ever see that person again too? Unlikely, and they won't think anything less of you if they see you again. But the opposite.
Approach with a simple greeting and immediately say you're attracted to her and exchange names and then you can make conversation. If she stays then she's in for you.
I was just going to reply to this thread, when I saw your reply here, Gob. I agree with everything you've said here, +rep for you.
OP, just approach girls and let them know straight away you think they're attractive and you'd like to get to know them. The conversation will take off from there if they are interested. Direct and upfront honesty works really well in the daytime, as long as you are sincere, confident and non-creepy, so get out there and give it a go. I promise you'll be pleasantly surprised by how well girls respond.
And remember, rejections are just stepping stones to finding someone who IS interested. Good luck.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by noobynoo
oh look by the fact that you are reaching for the bolognaise sauce I instantly see that we are sole mates.
the reason people think it is "creepy" is that there is about 0% chance that you have anything remotey in common except for shopping in the same supermarket so the only reason you are chatting them up is to get into their knickers. So unless you are really really hot it's probably going to end badly.
on the other hand if it was a public art gallery for example then that is different since there is at least a tenuous sense that you have similar interests. fact.
the reason people think it is "creepy" is that there is about 0% chance that you have anything remotey in common except for shopping in the same supermarket so the only reason you are chatting them up is to get into their knickers. So unless you are really really hot it's probably going to end badly.
on the other hand if it was a public art gallery for example then that is different since there is at least a tenuous sense that you have similar interests. fact.
So it's just just better not to do it? Even if she's hinting at me to do something?
Original post by Teaddict
Hi, I hope I don't come across to too creepy, but I think you're absolutely amazing, what's your name?
Oh I'm so not witty.
Oh I'm so not witty.
Agreed
Why, I'm Wilhelmina ^^,
The thing about being British is, we have to make conversations with strangers in public places seem as if they're started almost by accident. Which makes this sort of situation really rather difficult!
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