Is he trying to tell me something?

I have been with my boyfriend coming up to 3 years now and I am his first girlfriend. I have had 2 serious relationships before him and at first thi really upset him but I thought he was over it. He is a very monogomous person and wants to marry me but yeterday he told me if he only had a month to live the one thing he'd want to do would be to ask a girl for her number as he has never even done this (I was the predator in our relationship)... What does he mean by this? I felt really upset but didn't tell him. Do I have any reason to be or am I just overreacting?

:s-smilie:

Reply 1

Liam 09

12

His one dying wish would be to ask another girl for her number? That is just plain weird.

Reply 2

llb_ant

5

Surely to get an honest and truthful answer you should be asking him if it bothers you so much?

You are just going to get presumptions here.

Reply 3

Kalliope

17

That does sound a bit weird. I'd like to think my boyfriend would want to sky dive, meet an inspirational person or read a must-read book rather than ask for some girl's number if they were about to die.. but maybe that's just me :h:

It's probably just him feeling that if he is going to marry you it is a shame to have never done the dating thing.. so maybe you could take it as a sign he's thinking of your relationship as more serious. Then again, maybe not!

Why don't you ask him? This is the best reply to 99.99% of H&R threads and seems to apply here :biggrin:

Reply 4

jthlm

2

Original post by sfitz1

I have been with my boyfriend coming up to 3 years now and I am his first girlfriend. I have had 2 serious relationships before him and at first thi really upset him but I thought he was over it. He is a very monogomous person and wants to marry me but yeterday he told me if he only had a month to live the one thing he'd want to do would be to ask a girl for her number as he has never even done this (I was the predator in our relationship)... What does he mean by this? I felt really upset but didn't tell him. Do I have any reason to be or am I just overreacting?

I get why you're upset but don't worry about it. Unless you're definitely planning on marrying him in the very near future, this shouldn't be too much of a big deal... The only problem is that he probably feels like he never really experienced dating around, picking up girls, sleeping around which a lot of guys are into these days, so it could be pressure from culture around him which makes him feel he might have missed out on something. But since, like you said, he's a very monogamous person, this may not ever really come to anything because he'd probably rather be with you than anyone else. I mean, of course he could possibly have meant something by what he said, so you should look for indications of him being unhappy in your relationship or wanting to look 'elsewhere', but this sounds kinda unlikely with him saying he wants to marry you. So just relax, take every day as it comes and I'm sure it'll all be alright :smile:

Reply 5

7he5haman

8

Original post by sfitz1

I have been with my boyfriend coming up to 3 years now and I am his first girlfriend. I have had 2 serious relationships before him and at first thi really upset him but I thought he was over it. He is a very monogomous person and wants to marry me but yeterday he told me if he only had a month to live the one thing he'd want to do would be to ask a girl for her number as he has never even done this (I was the predator in our relationship)... What does he mean by this? I felt really upset but didn't tell him. Do I have any reason to be or am I just overreacting?

:s-smilie:

(1) Why on earth was he upset?? That's just weird.

(2) Why does he care so much about never asking a girl for her number? He should be grateful for ending up in a serious relationship at the first go.

(3) You should give him a good telling off. He's an ungrateful so-and-so and clearly doesn't appreciate you - if he did, he wouldn't be getting all melodramatic about never hitting on a girl. He also seems to have issues.

EDIT:

Oh, woe is me,
I've been repped negatively

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 6

Hopple

18

It's an ego thing. You got who you wanted by asking him out, and whilst he's happy with you now, he'd like to know what that feels like. A bit odd that that's the one thing he wants to do though, is he the indoors type?

Reply 7

sfitz1

OP

8

Original post by Hopple

It's an ego thing. You got who you wanted by asking him out, and whilst he's happy with you now, he'd like to know what that feels like. A bit odd that that's the one thing he wants to do though, is he the indoors type?

Not really.. I think I have potrayed him as slightly socially inept..he's not! He's very popular and has lots of friends but before we started dating girls just didn't come on his radar physically (apparently?).

I just want to know wether he means he wants other experiences before he settles down with me.. I mean we're only 19 ad 20 so if that is how he feels its not a big deal but its just he tells me that he wants to marry me.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by sfitz1

Not really.. I think I have potrayed him as slightly socially inept..he's not! He's very popular and has lots of friends but before we started dating girls just didn't come on his radar physically (apparently?).

I just want to know wether he means he wants other experiences before he settles down with me.. I mean we're only 19 ad 20 so if that is how he feels its not a big deal but its just he tells me that he wants to marry me.

You had two serious relationships before you were 16? I doubt it.

Reply 9

sfitz1

OP

8

Original post by Anonymous

You had two serious relationships before you were 16? I doubt it.

Yeah I was young and stupid went out with a guy for a year and a half when i was 14 then immediately after we split up dated another guy (sort of as a rebound) for 5 months... Bad but my relationships werent the question...

Reply 10

Hopple

18

Original post by sfitz1

Not really.. I think I have potrayed him as slightly socially inept..he's not! He's very popular and has lots of friends but before we started dating girls just didn't come on his radar physically (apparently?).

I just want to know wether he means he wants other experiences before he settles down with me.. I mean we're only 19 ad 20 so if that is how he feels its not a big deal but its just he tells me that he wants to marry me.

You'll have to talk to him about it then :tongue:

I think his reasoning for wanting to have been the predator (as you put it) is as I said above, but I don't know why it is that important to him.

Reply 11

sfitz1

OP

8

Original post by 7he5haman

(1) Why on earth was he upset?? That's just weird.

(2) Why does he care so much about never asking a girl for her number? He should be grateful for ending up in a serious relationship at the first go.

(3) You should give him a good telling off. He's an ungrateful so-and-so and clearly doesn't appreciate you - if he did, he wouldn't be getting all melodramatic about never hitting on a girl. He also seems to have issues.

1. He was upset becuase I had already lost my virginity when I met him and he hadn't even kissed a girl and so got very jealous at the time.

2. I don't know..that's why I'm upset...it makes me feel like I haven't been enough for him and that he wants to get with other girls... :frown:

3. Yes, I should. But I don't know whether to confront him about it or whether its just an issue ive made up in my head.

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

And this is why girls shouldnt chase guys. They end up hearing things they didnt want to.

Reply 13

Bexx9

11

I think he probably means that before he died he'd like to do something that he'd never had the guts to do before, like asking a girl for her number.

I don't think it means 'before I die I'd like to get a girls number, meet up with her and shag her senseless' lol

Reply 14

hunagdi

10

Original post by sfitz1

Not really.. I think I have potrayed him as slightly socially inept..he's not! He's very popular and has lots of friends but before we started dating girls just didn't come on his radar physically (apparently?).

I just want to know wether he means he wants other experiences before he settles down with me.. I mean we're only 19 ad 20 so if that is how he feels its not a big deal but its just he tells me that he wants to marry me.

You are 20 which means you started your relationship with this guy at 17 . . . And before you said you had 2 other serious relationships (presumably sexual)? The slut alarm is going off.

Reply 15

sfitz1

OP

8

Original post by hunagdi

You are 20 which means you started your relationship with this guy at 17 . . . And before you said you had 2 other serious relationships (presumably sexual)? The slut alarm is going off.

Lol!! It doesn't make me a slut that I had sex before the age of 17 when I dated the first guy a year and a half and the second for 5 months. People like you make me laugh SO much!

Reply 16

hunagdi

10

Original post by sfitz1

Lol!! It doesn't make me a slut that I had sex before the age of 17 when I dated the first guy a year and a half and the second for 5 months. People like you make me laugh SO much!

No OP you ARE a slut. You shagged your first guy at the age of 15 then moved on to your next prey when you were 16. And you're on to the third at the age of 20. That's 3 guys in 5 years and you're still so young! When you're in your mid twenties people tend to meet more partners so I think we should be looking at well over double figures by the time you're 30.

Reply 17

dungeonkeepr

The thing is, even if you're being completely paranoid, it's worth talking to him. If it's messing with your head you need to get an answer. Just make sure to bring it up rationally, calmly and casually so that it doesn't become a massive argument.

He probably just regrets not having the experience. I missed out on casually dating a guy and all that stuff (we went straight to super serious) and I'd really like to have experienced that, but I wouldn't ever want to dump bf for that.

Reply 18

sfitz1

OP

8

Original post by hunagdi

No OP you ARE a slut. You shagged your first guy at the age of 15 then moved on to your next prey when you were 16. And you're on to the third at the age of 20. That's 3 guys in 5 years and you're still so young! When you're in your mid twenties people tend to meet more partners so I think we should be looking at well over double figures by the time you're 30.

Well you are totally welcome to your own opinions but I completely disagree... And your maths doesn't really make any sense because I have been with my boyfriend almost 3 years and we are probably going to get married so I don't think 3 is the biggest number in the world. Further, if I had had sex with that number of people by the time I was 30 it would still not make me a slut.. You're probably just a sad virgin!

Reply 19

Pink Bullets

15

Original post by hunagdi

No OP you ARE a slut. You shagged your first guy at the age of 15 then moved on to your next prey when you were 16. And you're on to the third at the age of 20. That's 3 guys in 5 years and you're still so young! When you're in your mid twenties people tend to meet more partners so I think we should be looking at well over double figures by the time you're 30.

Holy ****, your head's going to explode when you enter the real world.

Is he trying to tell me something?

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