Girlfriend told her parents that she's constantly cooking for me.

I live with my girlfriend so we usually do the shopping and have meals together.

I've found the kitchen to be a major problem in our relationship. There have been several occasions, where my girlfriend would be upset about the lack of cooking on my behalf. In my defence, I'm a terrible cook in comparison to her, and she tends to have much higher standards of food. I have in the past thought it'd be a good idea to mix some food together, only to receive looks which suggests "uhh... no thanks."
No big deal. She's been cooking longer than I have, so probably has a better idea of what goes together and all that. So I've sort of fallen into a role of pretty much just helping out with the cooking, doing small things like whipping the egg, mixing the food in the saucepan etc, rather than coming up with the dishes.

Recently, her parents asked her whether she cooked for me. "Yes, most of the time." and whether I cooked for her... which was "not really". Her parents advised her not to do it so often since I'd take it for granted, which is fair enough. I can totally understand where they are coming from, and I'd even agree with their assessment. But something kind of bothers me about this.



While part of me thinks that it'd be a good idea to actively cook for her. Another part of me thinks it'd also be a good idea to seperate our cooking, so that she doesn't just cook my proportion as well when she's making stuff. But, like I said previously, I get the feeling that suggesting we do things seperately will just end badly.

"I'm okay. You don't need to cook for me all the time."

Maybe it's a case of just preparing food other than rice, gradually increasing the amount of 'alternative food' I make. But if I'm also going to be eatting rice, there's literally no way to avoid the fact that we'll be creating dishes to go with it (and then comes in the idea "we might as well share the meat/vegetable/egg/whatever dish" in that case)

Ugh... I need solutions...

[*]I thought when I was helping out, that at least it'd be a case of "Oh, he helps out with the cooking" not "I do most of the cooking". Perhaps, it's true that when I help out, it's not really helping out that much but still, it feels like she doesn't really acknowledge the fact that I'm helping out, and that it is still 'unbalanced' in her eyes.

[*]This one is probably minor. But, I'm pretty sure that the answers given to her parents doesn't reflect well on me. I would rather prefer if we did our own cooking, and she told them that "nah, we usually do our own thing" than "I do most of the cooking, he doesn't do anything"

While part of me thinks that it'd be a good idea to actively cook for her. Another part of me thinks it'd also be a good idea to seperate our cooking, so that she doesn't just cook my proportion as well when she's making stuff. But, like I said previously, I get the feeling that suggesting we do things seperately will just end badly.

Maybe it's a case of just preparing food other than rice, gradually increasing the amount of 'alternative food' I make. But if I'm also going to be eatting rice, there's literally no way to avoid the fact that we'll be creating dishes to go with it (and then comes in the idea "we might as well share the meat/vegetable/egg/whatever dish" in that case)

It's stupid **** like this why I'm done with relationships. Seriously, cooking? Aren't there any bigger ****ing problems?

Not ragging on you personally, though relationships seem to create huge piles of small rubbish, all the damn time, just because of that very fact.

If she doesn't like cooking your food at the same time (which she obviously doesn't, otherwise there would have been zero negative implications), then tell her not to bother. I know precisely where you're coming from with the 'let's cook seperately' idea, though it's either that, or you learn to cook competently (or at her level, if all possible).

I get the feeling if you left this completely unchanged, then it'd just get worse, and worse and worse...

You are such a child!

Her parents asked her if she cooked for him, she said that she did all the time, which is true. She didn't mention that he stirs the pot on the stove - so ****ing what? That is barely a contribution let alone an even one.

If you live with your girlfriend its time to start acting like an adult which means doing your fair share of stuff like this. Learning to cook properly takes only a small amount of time and effort.

This argument is the exact equivilant of demanding your girlfriend not clean the house and instead live in a sty because you dont want ot have to do YOUR share of the cleaning. Its retarded.

Hmmm, personal attack. I'm tempted to say 'typical woman', though I won't even bother.

I cook all my own meals, and clean my own apartment, which is more than can be said for the OP. I think him learning to cook for himself (and his girlfriend, if present), would only be beneficial, don't you think?

I live with my girlfriend so we usually do the shopping and have meals together.

I've found the kitchen to be a major problem in our relationship. There have been several occasions, where my girlfriend would be upset about the lack of cooking on my behalf. In my defence, I'm a terrible cook in comparison to her, and she tends to have much higher standards of food. I have in the past thought it'd be a good idea to mix some food together, only to receive looks which suggests "uhh... no thanks."
No big deal. She's been cooking longer than I have, so probably has a better idea of what goes together and all that. So I've sort of fallen into a role of pretty much just helping out with the cooking, doing small things like whipping the egg, mixing the food in the saucepan etc, rather than coming up with the dishes.

Recently, her parents asked her whether she cooked for me. "Yes, most of the time." and whether I cooked for her... which was "not really". Her parents advised her not to do it so often since I'd take it for granted, which is fair enough. I can totally understand where they are coming from, and I'd even agree with their assessment. But something kind of bothers me about this.



While part of me thinks that it'd be a good idea to actively cook for her. Another part of me thinks it'd also be a good idea to seperate our cooking, so that she doesn't just cook my proportion as well when she's making stuff. But, like I said previously, I get the feeling that suggesting we do things seperately will just end badly.

"I'm okay. You don't need to cook for me all the time."

Maybe it's a case of just preparing food other than rice, gradually increasing the amount of 'alternative food' I make. But if I'm also going to be eatting rice, there's literally no way to avoid the fact that we'll be creating dishes to go with it (and then comes in the idea "we might as well share the meat/vegetable/egg/whatever dish" in that case)

Ugh... I need solutions...

You are such a child!

Her parents asked her if she cooked for him, she said that she did all the time, which is true. She didn't mention that he stirs the pot on the stove - so ****ing what? That is barely a contribution let alone an even one.

If you live with your girlfriend its time to start acting like an adult which means doing your fair share of stuff like this. Learning to cook properly takes only a small amount of time and effort.

This argument is the exact equivilant of demanding your girlfriend not clean the house and instead live in a sty because you dont want ot have to do YOUR share of the cleaning. Its retarded.

I always got slightly ****ed off with my ex, who used to do this thing where I would be cooking something, he would come along and .. say, stir the rice, or take a pan off the heat, or something like that, and then act like suddenly he was in charge of the meal that I had ****ing cooked.

Anyway. Imo I enjoy cooking so if my boyfriend wasn't good at it or didn't like it, I'd rather I took charge because at least then I know what I eat will be nice. Eating separately will just end up costing a lot; when cooking, it doesn't actually take that much effort to just cook for one extra person, since you share shopping it's presumably not as if she would be paying extra so it would just be a case of putting a little bit more chicken on or whatever.

I'm assuming you do other **** around the house as well, and in that case, tbh I wouldn't care if I was your girlfriend. I can understand you feeling a little put out about what she said to her parents, but if you do other stuff, surely you don't have to feel bad. If she does all the cooking and you do all the... I don't know, laundry, or vacuum cleaning, or whatever it happens to be, then there is still a balance. Perhaps mention to her that you felt a bit bad, and ask her if she does feel you could do more.

Of course, if you do nothing all day and then she ends up cooking because she's good at it, yeah I would get annoyed if that was me.

And if your girlfriend really would rather you guys shared the cooking, then just get a recipe book and try **** out. You don't have to pull recipes out of the air; think of what you feel like (chicken, beef, pasta, whatever it is) and then find a recipe based on that thing. Jamie Oliver's 30 Minute Meals has some fantastic ideas and it's all laid out very easily. I also love Nigella Lawson's recipe, her latest book Kitchen is really good and they're always very straightforward and easy to follow, and turn out well. You don't have to really 'be able to cook' in order to follow a recipe.

Woman + kitchen? Nuff said.