How has mental illness affected your life?

I feel a bit silly writing this, so much so that I have been staring at the page for about 5 minutes. I finally got a phone call! It was good, spoke to a doctor who actually knew stuff (which I honestly didn't think existed in the NHS, after past experiences) and she really thought that meds was the best option for me, whilst she puts me on an 'urgent case' list (or something like that) to see a psychologist.
When I first went to the doctor with all this stuff (2 years ago!) I was offered meds but I said no because I was scared of not feeling in control of stuff. Like, I want to feel the anxiety and the obsessions because it makes me feel in control and safe. But now I've realised that I'm not actually in control of it at all because there are some situations where it's just not appropriate to have these obsessions, and it makes me look and feel like an idiot. Then there's having to try to explain etc etc
So I'm thinking about meds. She's ringing me at the end of the week to give me an appointment but also to see what I say about taking medication (I think it would be an SSRI, like Luvox I think)
The point of my rambling here is that I'm unsure whether to take it or not. I'd have to get over my fear of tablets first, which is part of my problem with choking anyway so it would help. I'm most scared of it interfering with my exams, which start next month. My anxiety really comes in useful because it makes me revise loads, but also my obsessions become almost unbearable during exam stress. So I don't know. Any advice?

My first 2 posts in this thread are here

Glad to hear you spoke to a nice doctor

I'm sceptical of meds as well and don't like not being in control, or handing control over to something else in that way. At the end of the day though, anything that makes your life more manageable in the short-term - especially in the case of exams - can ultimately only be a good thing

Thanks
I think I'll give them a trial, I can always stop them before exams (hopefully) if it has a negative effect on me

Has anyone here ever seen a psychiatrist, because ive got an apt to see one on thursday and i'm kinda nervous :s

Talk to the doctor about your worries and maybe you can negotiate something. My care team know I'm dead against medication but we came to a compromise: I'd give various different pills a go in order to find the right one, but they keep me on a lower dosage that doesn't affect my day-to-day life. They're quite understanding about and respectful about it

If it helps at all: the only reason I was physically able to get towards/through my Finals was being put on Prozac for about six weeks

Try not to be nervous! They're good at listening and usually quite sympathetic in my experience (seen three different ones: two here and one in Sri Lanka)

You know what the worst thing is? People saying I just need to try harder, that depression is a state of mind you need to pull yourself out harder to get out of it.

Hi
Thanks for responding, can I just ask, basically i'm not really the 'open up' type of person and it's really hard for me to talk to people about personal stuff, i know I have to be honest and open but like I don't really get how it works, will the psychiatrist ask me questions? Or do I basically just have to sit there and talk the whole time...
Ive been to counselling/therapy and I found it very hard because the person never actually said anything really and it was all just a bit difficult and awkward.
I know obviously seeing a psychiatrist is different... right? Haha
Sorry for the rant...

A psychiatrist works different to a counsellor: the psychiatrist will be wanting to make a diagnosis (something counsellors have less authority to do) and to prescribe medication, if necessary. So they will spend time asking you various questions. Some of these will only require short answers, others might need more elaboration. He might then pick up on things you say and answer things from that.

It also depends on why you're being sent there. In my case it was then-suspected psychosis, so I could tell he was working through a check list of different psychotic disorders with the questions he was asking

I'm going to a private psychiatrist, my mum just thinks i have issues and we went to my GP yesterday and told her all the symptoms etc and she said it's not a bad idea to go, shes faxed over all my symptoms to the psychiatrist so i'm sure she will know the basics before we even speak on the day.
Hope it goes okay :/ my GP thinks i'm bi-polar or something.

Just remember that they're there to help you and that they're on your side Be as open and honest as you can be but equally don't beat yourself up if some things are too difficult to talk about, or if you're not great at verbalising things

Thanks, really helped x

Does anyone have any experiences of mental health provision varying massively between healthcare authorities?

I'm mentally ill in some way I'm not quite sure about; I'm diagnosed with autism, but I'm becoming very, very suspicious that I'm bipolar, as I've had episodes of mania and depression for about five years now. I went to a psychiatrist with self-harm and suicide attempts when I was 13, and was told that I was fine, which made me understandably wary of doctors; a couple of weeks ago (I'm 18 now) I got up the nerve to go to my GP again, reasoning that a different person would be more likely to be sensible, but she told me it was probably just my period and that she didn't really have time to deal with it. Is it likely that my healthcare trust is just a bit rubbish and the GP I'm registered to at uni will be better, or... are all mental health workers/etc this ineffectual?

I had to book privately and pay £300 for the hour, because ive found that the waiting lists themselves are way to long, let alone how **** and uncaring the doctors are.
They dismiss soooo many people that have obvious problems.

I had to book privately and pay £300 for the hour, because ive found that the waiting lists themselves are way to long, let alone how **** and uncaring the doctors are.
They dismiss soooo many people that have obvious problems.

£300? I earn £7 an hour, so important as my mental health is to me, no way am I spending 43 hours processing spreadsheets for the council just so I can get the diagnosis I need

They definitely do. I just don't know what I need to do to be taken seriously. My grades are good (although my attendance at school isn't), I'm not dangerously underweight (my area has an excellent anorexia/bulimia support group, but compulsive eating apparently doesn't qualify you for it) and I manage mostly not to self-harm any more, so I don't think I tick enough boxes for them on the self-destruction scale. But even when I was self-harming and suicidal, they didn't really care - mostly because I was 13, I guess.

It makes me really angry, because the girl who forced me into sex when I was 13 (this is probably the point at which I should check the 'anon' button or stop being so brutally honest, but eh, it's the internet and as far as I know she doesn't use TSR) and is a bit mentally ill herself gets a lot of mental health support. I realise that she has things going on in her head - panic attacks mostly - and that I should be tolerant and forgiving, but it makes me really angry to see her getting weekly therapy sessions for years on end because she feels guilty about something she did to me. /rant

Yeah but people like that get it because they are a threat to people in society, and they are honest. She has obviously gone and told you them what shes done to you and they are trying to help her overcome her obvious problems.

It obviously still effects you amongst other things so you should also be getting help. You mentioned when you were 13 but go back now, it's years on, your an adult they need to take you seriously.

I know what you mean about the symptoms not being enough, you see i don't self harm (tempted but don't have the balls) but i substance abuse etc, i'm sort of worried that the psychiatrist will say theres nothing wrong with you. And just take £300 loool! But you gotta try, I know somethings wrong, my family and my friends know somethings wrong.
Maybe your just like me, unable to talk about it much?

I had to book privately and pay £300 for the hour, because ive found that the waiting lists themselves are way to long, let alone how **** and uncaring the doctors are.
They dismiss soooo many people that have obvious problems.

£300? I earn £7 an hour, so important as my mental health is to me, no way am I spending 43 hours processing spreadsheets for the council just so I can get the diagnosis I need

They definitely do. I just don't know what I need to do to be taken seriously. My grades are good (although my attendance at school isn't), I'm not dangerously underweight (my area has an excellent anorexia/bulimia support group, but compulsive eating apparently doesn't qualify you for it) and I manage mostly not to self-harm any more, so I don't think I tick enough boxes for them on the self-destruction scale. But even when I was self-harming and suicidal, they didn't really care - mostly because I was 13, I guess.

It makes me really angry, because the girl who forced me into sex when I was 13 (this is probably the point at which I should check the 'anon' button or stop being so brutally honest, but eh, it's the internet and as far as I know she doesn't use TSR) and is a bit mentally ill herself gets a lot of mental health support. I realise that she has things going on in her head - panic attacks mostly - and that I should be tolerant and forgiving, but it makes me really angry to see her getting weekly therapy sessions for years on end because she feels guilty about something she did to me. /rant