Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner?
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Being a student I know what it's like to fail at things you like, things you wished you did perfectly. I'd like to be able, more than anything, to create and follow the creativity with skills i'm building. I practice a lot, but I can be a lazy procrastinator too, and then I feel horrible with myself. Not achieving what I want is not something I like, actually, there's just a few things I hate more than faillure when I know I could succeed if I had had the opportunity, or, most likely, the will to just stop being lazy and hang on to what I really like, and want.
And I can't say that I have a lot of experience in love and such matters, but I have to say I don't understand when people give up everything they value to be with that one person they believe is worth it all. All I can say right now is that I really hope I don't feel like giving up on everything ever in my life, because I have enough knowledge on myself to know that I must be happy with myself, what I do, what I aim for, what I create. Of course I'd love to have an amazing, interesting guy as a boyfriend, but the idea that "only" that would be enough to make me happy would be, for me, an illusion.
And I can't say that I have a lot of experience in love and such matters, but I have to say I don't understand when people give up everything they value to be with that one person they believe is worth it all. All I can say right now is that I really hope I don't feel like giving up on everything ever in my life, because I have enough knowledge on myself to know that I must be happy with myself, what I do, what I aim for, what I create. Of course I'd love to have an amazing, interesting guy as a boyfriend, but the idea that "only" that would be enough to make me happy would be, for me, an illusion.
I would go for my dreams.
Original post by T-Toe
A man shouldn't be the sole reason for inner happiness. If so, I'm worried for you.
A career shouldn't be your sole reason for happiness. If so I'm worried for you
I would never have to choose though, it's just a thread, I want a family and a career, sorted. 
Original post by SmallTownGirl
I'd take 'perfect partner' if I had to choose. I've already met her and whatever happens she makes me happy and I can't live without her.
But of course, she'd never make me choose.
But of course, she'd never make me choose.
That's not the point. I'm talking about, would YOU give up your hopes/dreams for your perfect partner, regardless of whether your partner would "never make you choose"?
I find this interesting. Good work I'm So Academic. Shows the split of work driven ambitious people, to the ones yearning to find love.
I also have a realistic example. One of my best friends are in a relationship and she claims to be "in love" and they were going to get engaged. But I have noticed she isn't happy at all. She isn't happy because she isn't doing anything with her life and isn't fulfilling to the best of her ability, even saying she is unhappy.
I think if you aren't satisfied with yourself/your career you will not be satisfied in a relationship, no matter how perfect your partner is. You need to find happiness in yourself before finding your perfect partner imo.
I also have a realistic example. One of my best friends are in a relationship and she claims to be "in love" and they were going to get engaged. But I have noticed she isn't happy at all. She isn't happy because she isn't doing anything with her life and isn't fulfilling to the best of her ability, even saying she is unhappy.
I think if you aren't satisfied with yourself/your career you will not be satisfied in a relationship, no matter how perfect your partner is. You need to find happiness in yourself before finding your perfect partner imo.
(edited 13 years ago)
My perfect partner wouldn't make me choose 
But what if my perfect future contained a partner and kids and stuff?
But what if my perfect future contained a partner and kids and stuff?
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by im so academic
Share it with someone or people who are not your partner?
Well, let's rephrase it slightly. If you had both and were forced to give up one, which do you think you'd choose?
I think I'd pick the career.
Original post by im so academic
Would you give up everything about music for your perfect partner?
In this situation, there is no compromise.
Yes, I am talking about extremes.
In this situation, there is no compromise.
Yes, I am talking about extremes.
I don't believe such a situation would ever come about but since you ask: for the right person, I'd probably give it my best shot. That's not to say I'd be successful but for the right person, I really would at least try
Original post by Charlottelisabeth
Idk, it depends if there was a guarantee that I was to spend the rest of my life with this "perfect" partner. Also if he had a good job himself so that we could live comfortably for the whole of our lives.
This is a question specific to you from me - what if he didn't "make enough money to live comfortably", although is the perfect guy?
There is no guarantee to spend the rest of your life this perfect partner.
I asked this question as it's about control. Would you rather you had control of your own life, but let your partner essentially control your own life? (But that I mean you're dependent on his income and you could never have a career/future of your own).
And actually it's kind of near impossible for me not to reach my future career goal because I'll be a student children's nurse from this Sept onwards & hopefully, if the gov stop cutting public sector work then nurses will always be wanted so I can't ever imagine myself stuck for work.
That's not what I meant.
Would you give up nursing for your perfect partner?
Would you give up for perfect partner if it meant you could be a nurse?
So Idk really. I mean, I would rather have a "perfect" partner & a crappy job than having my future career job but being single for the whole of my life. I couldn't deal with never marrying!!
Ergo, you are not passionate about nursing.
I would describe someone who was passionate about something to mean that they would live and die for their chosen path in life.
Original post by T-Toe
Who says it will?
Besides, won't children fill that void of loneliness?
Besides, won't children fill that void of loneliness?
Having children is NEVER a guarantee of "filling that void of loneliness".
Original post by T-Toe
Partners come and go. Kids are for life. You don't necessarily have to have kids with the perfect partner or even a partner at all for that matter.
Who's to say you'll be with your kids forever?
They may desert you?
They may leave and never see you again?
They may hate you?
They may cause you so much trouble during those 18 years?
Children =/= happiness
Original post by DanielleT192
If the partner was so "perfect" he/she would allow you to pursue your dream career whilst being with you, so no, if he wasn't happy with my decision based on that then I'd go with my gut instinct and learn & propser.
Exploiting loopholes. I'm talking about a situation where, e.g. there are two doors. One leads you to your perfect future/career, one to your perfect partner. Which would you pick? (You would have to desert the other).
I get the most satisfication when I've learned something, succeeded/achieved something or picken up on an interesting talent. That satisfaction makes me so happy tbh and I haven't ever been in love, so maybe my view is different, but I'd rather be full of energy, drive and confidence, knowing I'm doing well in life, than being in a relationship, where I might always feel as though I haven't got much to offer and maybe dwell on how I could've done so much more.
At an older age, however, I think that having a mediocre job and having a perfect partner would be more suitable. I wouldn't want to be lonely in my old age and wouldn't want to be stuck with some old guy who isn't suited to me down to loneliness. I think loneliness at an older age would be far more escalated at my 19 years of age, so my mind is split in two.
At an older age, however, I think that having a mediocre job and having a perfect partner would be more suitable. I wouldn't want to be lonely in my old age and wouldn't want to be stuck with some old guy who isn't suited to me down to loneliness. I think loneliness at an older age would be far more escalated at my 19 years of age, so my mind is split in two.
Which one would you have and have for the REST of your life?
Original post by Smelly Ellie
A career shouldn't be your sole reason for happiness. If so I'm worried for you I would never have to choose though, it's just a thread, I want a family and a career, sorted.
I would never have to choose though, it's just a thread, I want a family and a career, sorted. Not just my career but my ideal dreams and future will indeed bring me happiness.
Like someone said successful relationships and partnerships of any kind are when each party is completely whole themselves. They can do fine without the other person, and they don't 'complete them.
By giving up everything for your ideal person, you're taking away your own happiness, thus reducing it.
Original post by joey11223
Going to sound totally thick here but what exactly is "everything" in the context of this question? Obviously I've already said giving up a dream job and lifestyle(basically quite a bit of disposable income, nice holidays abroad etc) would be ok as I'd feel I'd rather be with someone I loved absolutely then material things.
I mean are you asking for every single positive aspect of my life to be removed? For example I keep exotic pets (tarantulas, lizards etc), are you saying I have to get rid of them becase they're a hobby/pets I enjoy keeping? I like macro photography, so would I have to not take part in that too?
I mean are you asking for every single positive aspect of my life to be removed? For example I keep exotic pets (tarantulas, lizards etc), are you saying I have to get rid of them becase they're a hobby/pets I enjoy keeping? I like macro photography, so would I have to not take part in that too?
Everything that you've ever desired for in the future and currently have that contributes to your happiness.
Yes, you would have to get rid of them too.
How prepared are you for your perfect partner?
Definitely the perfect partner. It would definitely bring more long term happiness.
The satisfaction you get from the perfect career is only limited.
The satisfaction you get from the perfect career is only limited.
Original post by im so academic
Who's to say you'll be with your kids forever?
They may desert you?
They may leave and never see you again?
They may hate you?
They may cause you so much trouble during those 18 years?
Children =/= happiness
They may desert you?
They may leave and never see you again?
They may hate you?
They may cause you so much trouble during those 18 years?
Children =/= happiness
Doesn't mean I'll stop loving them. The love is unconditional.
Original post by im so academic
This is a question specific to you from me - what if he didn't "make enough money to live comfortably", although is the perfect guy?
There is no guarantee to spend the rest of your life this perfect partner.
I asked this question as it's about control. Would you rather you had control of your own life, but let your partner essentially control your own life? (But that I mean you're dependent on his income and you could never have a career/future of your own).
That's not what I meant.
Would you give up nursing for your perfect partner?
Would you give up for perfect partner if it meant you could be a nurse?
Ergo, you are not passionate about nursing.
I would describe someone who was passionate about something to mean that they would live and die for their chosen path in life.
There is no guarantee to spend the rest of your life this perfect partner.
I asked this question as it's about control. Would you rather you had control of your own life, but let your partner essentially control your own life? (But that I mean you're dependent on his income and you could never have a career/future of your own).
That's not what I meant.
Would you give up nursing for your perfect partner?
Would you give up for perfect partner if it meant you could be a nurse?
Ergo, you are not passionate about nursing.
I would describe someone who was passionate about something to mean that they would live and die for their chosen path in life.
Brilliant thread ISA, what was going in your mind before you made the thread?
Original post by edd360
My ideal future is with a perfect partner, so yes I would give that up for it.
Sorry, that doesn't count. I'm talking about two distinct options.
Yes .. I'd rather have a ****/no job, and the man of my dreams, and children, than have the job of my dreams and die alone,
Even if we had little money - no car, didn't one our own house, no annual holiday, I'd rather have that and be happy with my perfect man, than some disposable income, my own house, a car and an anual holiday in the Bahamas, and be all alone!
Even if we had little money - no car, didn't one our own house, no annual holiday, I'd rather have that and be happy with my perfect man, than some disposable income, my own house, a car and an anual holiday in the Bahamas, and be all alone!
(edited 13 years ago)
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