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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner?

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Original post by im so academic
No, rather because more or less everyone wants a family, it is unambitious to aim for a family too. Why go with the flow? (Unless that's actually what you want).



It is typical.



Never said that.


:O

Same for career. Just like DizzeeKid said earlier that you aren't the only female who wants to persue your dream rather than family life. More or less everyone wants that. I want it, too. That makes someone like you typical as well. It's just that, for me, if I had to choose I would choose my partner because, well, he is MY perfect partner.

I know what typical is. I don't think my English is that bad. :O Maybe it is. I don't know. XD

And I remember you did. But I can't find the post anymore, I was reading about it last night but I didn't have time to quote and reply to it. :O I am not lying.
Original post by Advanced Subsidiary
Exactly. That's why a couple of pages ago I said that someone who just settles to stay at home with their perfect partner and have babies all day might feel dissatisfied with the life they're living or jealous of their 'perfect partner'.

Interesting. Imagine if your 'perfect partner' had a perfect career, I think that would surely make some people feel bad and they could fester some hate for their partner being smarter/more successful than they are. :smile:


And because you have kids, you can't have the freedom you want (let's be honest).

I want to be able to go all around the world without the burden of some 7 year old on me tbh.
Original post by im so academic
No it won't. Only if you make yourself lonely.

What if you had to be a housewife to marry your dream man? Do you fancy that?


What do you exactly mean by dream man? I took it to mean you either marry the person you love / loves you back etc etc but you can't have a career. I wouldn't give up the person I love in return for the perfect career because when you love someone truly you'd do anything for them and to keep them.

However if it's just some "bloke" off the street but he's "perfect" then obviously I would choose my career.
Original post by street.lovin'
:s-smilie:ame for career. Just like DizzeeKid said earlier that you aren't the only female who wants to persue your dream rather than family life. More or less everyone wants that. I want it, too. That makes someone like you typical as well. It's just that, for me, if I had to choose I would choose my partner because, well, he is MY perfect partner.


No, it seems that the general thing (with girls especially) is to find their true love and have kids.

If that were the case, why is having a career without a family such a social stigma. It's not normal, in fact, I've been called strange on this thread for saying that.

And I remember you did. But I can't find the post anymore, I was reading about it last night but I didn't have time to quote and reply to it. :O I am not lying.


I know what I have posted.
Original post by Melting Sugar.
What do you exactly mean by dream man? I took it to mean you either marry the person you love / loves you back etc etc but you can't have a career. I wouldn't give up the person I love in return for the perfect career because when you love someone truly you'd do anything for them and to keep them.

However if it's just some "bloke" off the street but he's "perfect" then obviously I would choose my career.


Yes. I agree with you. If it was some perfect bloke of the street then I would choose career. For me perfect partner is the person who I love and love me back. So I would give up my career to be with him if I had to.
Original post by Melting Sugar.
What do you exactly mean by dream man? I took it to mean you either marry the person you love / loves you back etc etc but you can't have a career. I wouldn't give up the person I love in return for the perfect career because when you love someone truly you'd do anything for them and to keep them.

However if it's just some "bloke" off the street but he's "perfect" then obviously I would choose my career.


Perfect man: a man that has the full aesthetic and "personality" qualities you desire in him.

"Allowing me to lead my career" is NOT a personality quality in this case.
Original post by im so academic
No, it seems that the general thing (with girls especially) is to find their true love and have kids.

If that were the case, why is having a career without a family such a social stigma. It's not normal, in fact, I've been called strange on this thread for saying that.

I know what I have posted.


Well, I don't think having a career without a family is strange. So you can't say that to me. Say that to the person who called you strange :P

It is a general thing to want to persue your dream, too. Yep, it happens to girls more than boys.

I know what I have read. :O I am not that sad to have to lie.
Original post by im so academic
Perfect man: a man that has the full aesthetic and "personality" qualities you desire in him.

"Allowing me to lead my career" is NOT a personality quality in this case.


I'd choose my career and find a less perfect man who loved me for wanting to pursue my career. I can live with less than perfect. Else i'd end up resenting them. Perfection gets boring after a while. :moon:

Truthfully I want my life to have meaning, and whether that comes with work or a family only time will tell.
(edited 13 years ago)
HELL NO. NPV of my career is >$20M. No way a woman is worth more than that. Besides, the type of woman I want relies on my career choice. TROPHY WIFE.
Original post by im so academic
Perfect man: a man that has the full aesthetic and "personality" qualities you desire in him.

"Allowing me to lead my career" is NOT a personality quality in this case.


I want my perfect partner to love me and and I love him. Is that relevant ? I think it's the quality I desire in him.

My partner right now is less than perfect but he let me persue my dream. So I would choose him. But if he doesn't do that, I would choose career no matter how rich and fit and nice he is. :smile:
Just a discovery I've noticed for a long time but haven't mentioned it yet.

When you ask children, what are your dreams? How comes their ambitions are always massive, vast and almost never ending? In fact I can't remember the last time I asked a child "what do you want to be?" and he/she replied with "I don't know."

Once they've been socially conditioned into believing that career = money - their reasons for wanting someone has now altered, instead of it being "because I love what I do." It's now..(subconsciously) "because it pays well." or "because it makes me feel comfortable."

I've probably written this out poorly but what I'm trying to say is that I don't see what's special about a 'perfect partner' - along my journey I'll be meeting 'perfect friends' and in a way, that's almost better. I guess I just don't want to be constrained or have my hand held.

I just want to reach my potential, that is all. I bet not even 1% of people want to reach theirs.

Don't mean to be snobby btw, just saying :biggrin:
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Advanced Subsidiary


I just want to reach my potential, that is all. I bet not even 1% of people want to reach theirs.

Don't mean to be snobby btw, just saying :biggrin:


A lot of people wants to reach their potential so they choose career. Look at the poll, it's pretty much 50-50. So obviusly more than 1% of people want to do it.

And no, I don't think it's a snobby thought at all. It's good you want to reach your potential. It's a good thing to persue you dream. (As long as it's a good dream and not like becoming a drug dealer XD)
i dunno, i think id have to experience having a perfect partner to understand what im ssaying that id give up. I know at the moment, that im ambitious, and in theory, would probably give up finding perfect partner (which is unlikely, plus most of the world settle for just having a good partner)
Original post by Advanced Subsidiary
Just a discovery I've noticed for a long time but haven't mentioned it yet.

When you ask children, what are your dreams? How comes their ambitions are always massive, vast and almost never ending? In fact I can't remember the last time I asked a child "what do you want to be?" and he/she replied with "I don't know."

Once they've been socially conditioned into believing that career = money - their reasons for wanting someone has now altered, instead of it being "because I love what I do." It's now..(subconsciously) "because it pays well." or "because it makes me feel comfortable."

I've probably written this out poorly but what I'm trying to say is that I don't see what's special about a 'perfect partner' - along my journey I'll be meeting 'perfect friends' and in a way, that's almost better. I guess I just don't want to be constrained or have my hand held.

I just want to reach my potential, that is all. I bet not even 1% of people want to reach theirs.

Don't mean to be snobby btw, just saying :biggrin:


Actually, lol, you would be surprised how many kids/teenagers I've spoken to that have NO ambition at all.

Or they have a "goal", but they're not passionate/bothered about it.

Sad, sad world.

You are given an opportunity to do anything you want, and people don't use it.
Original post by M1F2R3
I'd rather have a partner who appreciates me rather than monetary gifts, which come from having a decent career.
.


nobody said anything about money. i sometimes think if i was doing a people /service career like nursing, teaching, working in a nursing home, you would feel fulfilled in itself for ehlping and carig for so many people. you could do this in a developing country and earn nothing but be fulfilled. look at mother tersa. she had no partner and a low/non paying career but was fulfilled.
I wouldn't want to be with someone who wanted to hold me back.
No. I don't believe there is such a thing as perfection anyway though-everyone has at least a little flaw, but that's good! :smile:
Original post by Melting Sugar.
I wouldn't want to be with someone who wanted to hold me back.


That's why your sugar melts in your coffee :coma:
Original post by im so academic
Actually, lol, you would be surprised how many kids/teenagers I've spoken to that have NO ambition at all.

Or they have a "goal", but they're not passionate/bothered about it.

Sad, sad world.

You are given an opportunity to do anything you want, and people don't use it.


haha too true. ask 10 random uni students on non-vocational courses (not law, engineering, nursing, medicine etc - the general open ended ones like BA Business or History or Politics or Media Art) what they want to do when they are finished, and 90% will respond - i dunno i havent really though about it. i'll see where it goes. then if they get lucky they work in an office. if they dont, they work in a shop.
Original post by shinytoy
haha too true. ask 10 random uni students on non-vocational courses (not law, engineering, nursing, medicine etc - the general open ended ones like BA Business or History or Politics or Media Art) what they want to do when they are finished, and 90% will respond - i dunno i havent really though about it. i'll see where it goes. then if they get lucky they work in an office. if they dont, they work in a shop.


Finally I can agree one something with you :tongue:

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