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Trying to be a decent human being

Cuddlemonster

(edited 13 years ago)

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lol

I think you justified in being concerned for her as it sounds like she could potentially be at risk of serious harm. You stick your nose in as far as it will go if her boyfriend is taking no notice :smile:

Reply 3

Wookie42

At 01:34, I would've appreciated a tl;dr version :/

Reply 4

BeanofJelly

I would contact the gf (bypassing your friend as he doesn't seem interested) to tell her that you are really worried and are considering contacting the police, and that you will support her if she wants to contact the police etc etc.
Possibly if she is not receptive you might consider contacting them anyway. You probably could do anonymously, and your friend won't have to know. Or you contact her friends to share your concerns and then who can perhaps help and support her.

Basically, be a friend to the girl in question - act as a concerned stranger essentially - but don't involve your mate as there is no need to and it will cause tension.

Reply 5

Cuddlemonster

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 6

mandingo666

Original post by cuddlemonster

i have a friend, and he has a girlfriend. With me so far? Great.

hold on fam hold on!

Reply 7

Drumzilla

Original post by crofy

lol

seeing this as the first reply made reading the entire thing worth it :')

but seriously i would think the police would be the first port of call, i mean it's assault at the end of the day. But if your friend doesn't care then he doesn't care, not much you can do.

Reply 8

True Ace

Why not just talk to Mr. Stalky and tell him he's a bit of a weirdo and if he doesn't stop then everyone will find out.

Reply 9

BeanofJelly

Original post by Cuddlemonster

I've just spent the last three hours supporting her, so the anonymous thing isn't really an option

It's probably going to go in this order:

1) I'll confront him
2) If that doesn't work, I'll get all our mutual friends involved
3) If THAT doesn't work, I'll get the police involved.

Confront your friend to do something about it? Or the scary ex?

I wouldn't give scary ex the chance, tbh, he's a nutter it might incite him to do something. I would just police him straight away (with her consent).

Or if you're feeling merciful just a message telling him to leave her alone or the police will get involved. Hell lie and say they're already involved.
But avoid some kind of face-to-face macho showdown.. I just think it's a bad idea. Too much pride and testosterone involved. You aren't in any legal position to fight him or anything, with mates or not. I suspect police threats (real or not) would scare him right off, then if they don't work, and the police aren't helping enough, you may need to involve your mates.

If it's your friend your talking about confronting, why bother?

Reply 10

True Ace

Original post by Cuddlemonster

All I know is Mr Stalky's first name. I don't know what he looks like, what he drives, what deadly martial arts he knows etc etc

The type of guy that has time for that level of creepiness? I'm guessing he's either pathetically weedy or extremely unhinged. Get your mates GF to tell you his name or give you a link to his FB page so you can have a look at which one it is. Now you can send him a nice civilised message over FB and tell him that this has gone too far.

Reply 11

bestofyou

Original post by Wookie42

tl;dr version :/

???????????/

Reply 12

True Ace

Too Long ; Didn't Read

Reply 13

shamim2k9

Just set the stalker on fire.

If that fails then defo confront your pal.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 14

BeanofJelly

Original post by Cuddlemonster

Confront my friend. The details he's been giving me portrays his girlfriend as some whiny skank that refuses to stop bothering him. That's why I'm so peeved, because she's being harassed and junk and HE'S the one who is keeping it a secret.

I have no plan on confronting the ex, for now. I'm a keyboard warrior at heart.

Aren't we all?

Why bother with him? I saw your edit to the story, so possibly he will become interested but if he isn't what difference does it make?

It's not like anyone needs his permission to help the girl just because they're dating. Or that he's the only one that can involve the police for her. Prioritise helping her, if he wants to be left out, leave him out, he isn't a necessary component of dealing with scary ex.

Possibly you could harass him for being so crap if you feel morally obliged to give him a hard time, but that's a separate issue to the calling the police/banishing scary ex part of your problem.

Do that regardless of him, then possibly give him a hard time if you want. Maybe steal vulnerable gf for yourself, have babies while he descends into his drug problems? Optional :tongue:

Who cares about him lol?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 15

True Ace

Original post by Cuddlemonster

tl;dr isn't really possible, but I'll try

Friend has girlfriend, girlfriend is being harassed, boyfriend has limited knowledge of this, considering sticking my snorter in and doing a selfless thing for the first time in ages.

OP falls in love with girl, girl falls in love with OP, creepy stalker confronts OP, OP talks stalker down, happy ending?

Pretty sure this is a Rom-Com plot right here. Sell your story and make millions!

Reply 16

True Ace

It may be 02:10 but that's no excuse. Man up and whisk that girl off her feet! If your mates as stoned as you say he probably wont even realise...

Reply 17

True Ace

Fair play, that's a pretty unattractive picture...

Reply 18

BeanofJelly

Original post by Cuddlemonster

I'm hoping he takes some initiative and does what everyone else is suggesting I do (confronting the stalker, contacting the police etc)

I'm bothering because I just feel bad. This is a girl who's a bit dim, and slowly becoming so depressed she doesn't care about being kidnapped. I'm worried if she carries on like this she'll end up in a real abusive relationship (stabbings at the dinner table etc)

Yes it would be nice, but if he's crap take the initiative for him. Bypass that lazy mofo.

What's important is protecting her from crazy ex. That she has a crap boyfriend in this instance.. just treat it as though she has no bf and look out for her by contacting the police.

No amount of stern chat to friend will make him start caring tbh. They're probably doomed. So don't bother with it. Hassle for nothing.