Virginity

For me it's a huge deal. Not because I don't feel ready, but because I don't feel confident enough naked. I have a stomach (proper not just one of these girls who twists about a pot belly when theyre flat as!), but I do have nice, leggy legs. So I suppose it isn't all bad.
However, has there ever been an issue for anyone on here, who hasn't wanted to lose their virginity because of a body issue?
I've had chances, I woke up after a day and night of drinking, next to a guy mate, although we weren't naked, we weren't too decent either. And we couldn't remember what happened and it hasn't been mentioned again (it's happened about 3 times with us)
But when sober, it isn't something I would even consider, this is a huge problem for me, as although I do want to have sex, it's stopping me from it as it repulses me so much, it must repulse them.

Anyone been through anything similar?

Thanks.

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Reply 1

Vohamanah

Hmmm its difficult to give you any advice because its a really difficult issue to deal with yourself. I assure you it is your issue. No guy will even notice and will certainly not care about your belly. Body confidence is I suppose something you can develop with time, but it does become a lot easier when you are with someone you really care about, to the point that being naked with them just feels right. Try not to make it an issue, just be aware that body confidence is perhaps something you need to work on.

Reply 2

chrislpp

So you lack confidence.

What do you want us to do about it?

Reply 3

RadioHawk

Original post by chrislpp

So you lack confidence.

What do you want us to do about it?

win
rep limit reached even though 2 posts rated in 2 days :confused:

Reply 4

chrislpp

And just go find that 'guy friend' you always end up with when drunk, and do it sober and have sex with him. there's something there and you're as unattractive as you let on then he clearly likes you......

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Same here. I hate my body. i'm so insecure i didn't even want my boyfriend touching my breasts (or lack of). And zillions of other body worries, i think i'm abnormal when i'm naked, he'd be weirded out. So yeah still in that rut.
When I'm drunk i feel a little more confident in my body. but my boyfriend doesn't drink, and won't do anything while i'm drunk. bless him.

Reply 6

littlemissm

I guarantee that if you feel ready in everywhere other way and go for it it'll make you more body-confident. The worst that can happen is the guy won't mention your body at all, he probably won't even care if he's having sex with you! and it'll be a big step to overcoming your fear

Reply 7

littlemissm

and guys like confidence!! I'm sure most guys would prefer a confident girl with a less than perfect figure to one who has a perfect body but hates her appearance

Reply 8

dungeonkeepr

I agree with Vohamanah, it's one of those things that just doesn't matter to the guy.
I feel, most of the time, horribly insecure about how I look. I won't wear bikinis and hate most photos of me. Having said that, being naked with my bf, I just don't mind, feels right.

When you meet the right guy, he'll tell you (and mean it) that you look sexy all the time. And guy that tells you you don't, isn't really worth your time - that's not to say any guy that doesn't endlessly compliment you isn't, just those idiots that don't recognise a good thing when they have it.

I can pretty much guarantee, OP, that if your guy friend likes you, he'll find you sexy as hell naked. It might help if you can manage to think about the moment and him, instead of what you look like - the second you find yourself worrying, just remember that there's this sexy (presumably you find him so) guy who wants you :tongue:

Reply 9

KrazyKro

Blindfold is your answer...

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Yes. I am extremely hairy. Probably more hairy than most guys. I have hair on my breasts, stomach, lower back and bum. It's a lot of hair and some of it is quite long and thick. Looking at it makes me feel sick I don't think I could ever get naked in front of anyone.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by dungeonkeepr

Thanks. It's just something that bugs me, and constantly gets me down. I'm a size 12 for both but have always been top heavy (mainly a 14 occasionally 12), and as I've gotten older then it's gotten worse for me.

I do actually like the guy, and in the 3 years we've been friends, stuff has only ever happened after drinking. And due to the mutual friends we share, we've never told anyone (I haven't and don't think that he has).

I do try working on my confidence, and work out most days with sit ups and step ups etc but non of it makes a difference. I even gave up chocolate for new years, and despite losing nearly a stone, It came off my legs and arms, not stomach :frown:

Reply 12

INeedToLoseWeight

I wasn't naked when I lost my virginity, OP. I just took off my knickers and pulled up my dress. You don't have to be naked to have sex.

Reply 13

anillatoo

I can always do you a favour by getting rid of your virginity...

Reply 14

dungeonkeepr

Original post by Anonymous

I really really do get that. I managed to feel better after a couple of gay mates spent 20 minutes complaining about my low self-image.

You ARE prettier than you think you are. Your stomach IS flatter than you think it is. And, bonus, with that body type, I bet you have pretty good boobs too :wink:

Take the plunge and kiss him sober, or semi-sober after a night out, if you find that easier. Good luck!

Edit: oh, and if you ever want to wibble about it to someone completely removed, feel free to PM me. :smile:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 15

totallydelirious

Why would you want to sleep with someone you can't trust enough to let see you naked anyway?

If you're in a relationship and you care deeply for each other, then you'd trust them to see your body, they'd want to if they loved you. most guys are excited enough to see a girl naked they don't actually notice what they really look like.

if you're i a proper committed relationship that persno should be building up your self esteem anyway, i think relationships should boost the other person, make them happier, mor econfident, help them find themselves. If a relationship doesn't do that then, why be with them?

so...don't worry about it, in time you'll find someone you want to be with who loves your body becuase it's yours.

Reply 16

spocckka

Original post by INeedToLoseWeight

I wasn't naked when I lost my virginity, OP. I just took off my knickers and pulled up my dress. You don't have to be naked to have sex.

Very classy.

Reply 17

chloeee!

You think this now but in the situation it's different. If someone said to me now, "take of all your clothes and stand in front of the boy you last had sex with" and I was made to do it, I think I'd have a panic attack. But when you're actually about to have sex, it's not like he's sitting there judging you and you stand there awkwardly.