Just found out my dad cheated on my mum...with her best friend.

Solved

(edited 10 years ago)

I'm sorry that this has happened.
I know it's hard but once the initial shock of the bad news wears off, it'll become easier to cope with and to deal with the pain.
Is there not anyone at school or college you can talk to about it? Even if you don't want to talk to your friends, does your school have a counsellor or someone to offer support? Things always seem worse when you keep them bottled up.

Aww OP,

Original post by geekdiddy

I never ever thought this would happened to us..we were the perfect family. My whole world has come crashing down in the space of a day, and I have to be strong in front of my mum - My brother and I the only things she has right now. When she's not around, I break down into tears and I feel sick to my stomach. I can't think.. I'm in so much pain. I can't tell anyone about it, because my community is ridiculous.

I have 2 offers to medical school, and I have to meet the grades. How am I going to do that? Why has this happened now? At the moment, I feel like this is going to take over my life, will it pass? Please tell me how to concentrate on anything but this?

Try to focus to focus on edu, eat some chocolate, talk to your friends, watch some tv, listen to some music, do something fun, keep your mind of these things.

Reply 4

Bellissima

i'm really sorry for you, your mum must feel really bad, and you too... man i hope she kicked the bastard out.

as for you, it'll take time to forgive him, but he's your dad. what he did was a d*ck move but it....

actually thinking about it he was willing to gamble his FAMILY for a bit of sex with some woman... especially as he knew it was your mums best friend. i hope you REALLY punish him for that. (don't do anything crazy though, don't be violent or anything)

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 5

Rzc

Original post by geekdiddy

OK OK, calm down first of all. Try and keep yourself busy so you don't think about it.

Like you said, stay strong for your mother and your brother :smile:

Reply 6

NOBODY MOVE!

Original post by .meh.

Idiot.

i didn't ask you for your name.
but thanks anyway.

Reply 7

Joshalos

Any situation like this will feel like it comes at the wrong time because it has come it the wrong time. It is always the wrong time. There never is a right time.
It's extremely commendable that you are staying strong around your mum; she'll need all the support she gets. However, don't let it build up inside you, she'll understand that you need the same support from her to you. He is your dad after all and it is a horrible thought, I know.
This will pass no matter how much you think it won't at the moment. Things may even settle down and become slightly more liveable though that is up to your family to decide what is right.

Stay strong. When something crashes down, it must always bounce back up.

And to all those inconsiderate people on here, what the hell? You disgust me and are certainly not a respectable human being.

Reply 8

geekdiddy

Original post by Joshalos

Thank you so much. This post is amazing, and exactly what I need. I don't understand how all these people can be so insensitive when I'm in so much pain.

Reply 9

aqua1

Agree with all the genuine advice on this thread. Remember its not your problem!! And if you need to stay with a friend for a while, that's okay.

Reply 10

Sashari

Things like this appear to happen at the right time. But imagine if you were at med school and you found out - you'd want to come home and wouldn't be able to concentrate on classes.

As someone said - it is important to keep busy, forget the Ahole and try and keep your mum busy/happy. But most importantly - CONCENTRATE ON STUDIES! You might hate your father so much if you won't get into the medicine, and you might start to resent your mother for relying on you at the time ;/

Either way you have to keep studying, you can't afford to let that slip....

Reply 11

Golly-Gosh

Original post by geekdiddy

my heart goes out to you and your mother/brother. :frown:

hope everything turns out ok.
stay strong and focus. :smile:

Reply 12

im so academic

Original post by geekdiddy

You need to gain a sense of perspective:

Look, cheating happens. I'm sure everyone wants a "perfect family", but things don't always go to plan. And when it happens (i.e. with you) you need to realise that what is done is done and there's nothing you can change about the past.

Seeing as your mum has only you and your brother left, do you think it would help matters if you failed to achieve your medicine offers? Would that make the situation better?

Imo, for the sake of your mother, make sure you achieve your ambitions. It must be double-bad for a woman to lose her husband due to cheating AND for her daughter to drop out and fail due to circumstances that; she will ultimately blame on herself.

After all she would be thinking (if you failed) "if only I were a better wife for my husband. He would never have cheated on me and this would never have happened". It's just going to make things even more worse, perhaps resulting in mental health problems and even suicide.

Don't make things worse for yourself or for your mother. Your dad was a bastard and don't let that affect you. I'm sure your mother wants you to do well.

:smile:

Reply 13

CODKING

Original post by geekdiddy

Take comfort from the fact that you are better in every way than the idiots who have posted stupid comments on here. It must be a really difficult time for you, but if you can find it in you to not hate your Dad, there is a better chance for you all to have some sort of relationship in the future. I'm not siding with your Dad but who knows what pressures he's been under or whether he's hurting now? Offers from medical school mean you're a smart cookie, and no one in your family would want you to throw that opportunity away.