Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner?

To start with the choice is not obvious, as this thread suggests. It is very much dependent upon what different people want at different points in their life.

You can still have a future without children. Love is open to interpretation, someone could effectively be in love with their job. Also a career does not cut you out of everything, the last job I was in I worked hard and played hard, my social life was just as much as part of my job as the actual work I did. It made me happy because I did not have to rely on anyone, I had the freedom to do what I wanted; maybe a selfish approach but it made me independent and self-reliant.

What about being independent, being self-reliant, having initiative?

I don't want to "rely" on my partner. What if he loses his job?

To start with the choice is not obvious, as this thread suggests. It is very much dependent upon what different people want at different points in their life.

You can still have a future without children. Love is open to interpretation, someone could effectively be in love with their job. Also a career does not cut you out of everything, the last job I was in I worked hard and played hard, my social life was just as much as part of my job as the actual work I did. It made me happy because I did not have to rely on anyone, I had the freedom to do what I wanted; maybe a selfish approach but it made me independent and self-reliant.

Generally speaking ideal career = money, and unless your career was something very vocational e.g. medicine, teaching, and I suppose you could argue religious vocations as well. It wouldn't in reality make sense to put a career infront of personal relationships.

He's perfect he won't lose his job

He's perfect, you won't have to rely on him cause he'll have already set up an awesome fallback existence in case of his absence.

To be absolutely honest with you, no.

Okay the scenario has changed, still no:

1. I'm quite selfish, achieving my dreams is the biggest self-satisfaction I could ever have.

2. I'd want to live my dreams in order for my future kids to have to best possible life. Children > Partner.

3. As long is he's not inept and he has a penis, I'll live. I'm not expecting a perfect partner.

4. Perfect partner BUT living on min wage, barely able to put food on the table and the kids will suffer? No thanks. I'm selfish but not that selfish.

Sorry but I'm being honest, shot me.

Why?

Admitadely it's a matter of opinion, but personally I think there is more inherrent value in our relationships with other people than there is in monitary gain.

By "perfect" I meant the aesthetic and the "personality" qualities you want in a guy.

Look, life isn't all rainbows and sunshine.

Well an ideal future without an ideal partner isn't very "ideal".

So if the ideal partner came along now and the only job you could get was being a bin man you would be content?

Admitadely it's a matter of opinion, but personally I think there is more inherrent value in our relationships with other people than there is in monitary gain.

Unlike you, I wouldn't make such a rash decision like that. I would think it through and look at the consequences of such an action.

It depends on your interpretation of an ideal future.

I have been there where I thought I was with the perfect guy and was going to marry him until I realised everything I was having to and had sacrificed for it, being with him meant I was unable to pursue my career. I would have had to give up everything I wanted and tbh if you have an ambition however small it may be, it does make you resentful if you have to give it up to stay with someone. I reached a point where I did not know how I was going to feed us; I had no social life because I had to work two jobs, I worked 7 days a week. Is that really an ideal future for the sake of being with someone who seems to be perfect because you love them.

In contrast, a year later I fell in love with another guy (just as much as the first), the difference is this time he likes me because I am so dedicated and ambitious to my career. For me my career is important to me, I enjoy what I do and I know it will give me a solid grounding with a stable base to live. He understands this and is happy to accept if I have to work until the early hours in the morning; understands I have to move away to uni.

For me pursuing my ideal career is the better option as at least this way I know I will have a stable base to look after myself without having to rely on my partner.

To be absolutely honest with you, no.

Okay the scenario has changed, still no:

1. I'm quite selfish, achieving my dreams is the biggest self-satisfaction I could ever have.

2. I'd want to live my dreams in order for my future kids to have to best possible life. Children > Partner.

3. As long is he's not inept and he has a penis, I'll live. I'm not expecting a perfect partner.

4. Perfect partner BUT living on min wage, barely able to put food on the table and the kids will suffer? No thanks. I'm selfish but not that selfish.

Sorry but I'm being honest, shot me.

I know but why do you want a career? Not like, eew why would you want a career, but what are the reasons? For me, interest, fulfillment, ambition, independence, structure, self-improvement, to be a professional, possibly to help others etc.

But the perfect partner could theoretically provide all of the above. They wouldn't even have to be around. They could just fund you

I can't think of a reason that the perfect (I'm not talking realistic here, but perfect) partner couldn't provide.

Exactly.

You just never know what might happen.

I get the vibe there was one answer you wanted to this thread

Which is daft, because the real question (which is more important, career or family?) you're basically trying to ask doesn't have a correct answer. It will vary depending on what makes an individual happy.

For me I would rather have an empty life when it came to ambitions/hopes of achievement that I had (although that would really suck don't get me wrong) than an empty family/love life.

That's not weak or irrational as you seem to want to prove. It's just my preference.