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My boyfriends a statutory rapist

Anonymous #1

Well basically, before we started dating, he shagged a girl who was under the age of consent, and he was 19 :s-smilie:

He didn't tell me until recently, before he lied saying she was older. She wasn't his girlfriend or anything so I can't think of a reason to defend him....

I feel really uneasy about it. Maybe I'm stupid, but I'm actually thinking about finishing with him over it. Am I Over dramatic?

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Reply 1

Liam 09

I'm gonna go with.. yes, you are being over dramatic and making it a problem.

Reply 2

rofflewaffle

If he lied about it in the first place, that probably means he regrets it/is ashamed. Therefore, unless she was like 11, you're being over-dramatic.

Reply 3

musicmad123

and i would go with no, if you have a problem with statutory rape, i guess youl have a problem with him

Reply 4

Boo!xx

if she was like 15, not a problem. If she was like 13, yeah, wierd.

Reply 5

undermyskin

Original post by Anonymous

Well basically, before we started dating, he shagged a girl who was under the age of consent, and he was 19 :s-smilie:

It honestly depends on how much it bothers you and just how much it alters your opinion of the person.

Reply 6

James4d

'Age of consent' is pointless tbph. If people are going to have sex, they will, whether or not it's against the law. The age of consent in Spain is 13, and their ratio of teenage pregnancies is considerably lower than the UKs.

Not saying people SHOULD be having sex at young ages, just saying the law for it is meaningless.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 7

archlord destin

Its only a problem if you make it.
If she was like 15, then she knew what she was doing and its only a technicality.

Reply 8

popsiclee67

Did he say it was without her consent or are you assuming? if he was convicted then yeah, I can see the problem but if she consented then it's not a major issue unless, yeah, she's 13

Reply 9

ForKicks

Was he convicted? He may also be witholding information, for all you know will be on registers and served a prison sentence!

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ape Gone Insane

So he was 19, met a girl one time (the girl probably lied about her age) and he had sex with her when she consented to it. Now he's in a relationship with you, you have a problem with it because it was statutory rape?

A tad over-dramatic. He is probably ashamed of it. And it's not like he pinned her down and forcibly raped her, is it?

This is where it gets tricky. He planned to sleep with her, to get revenge. And afterwards she said he forced himself on her but I'm not sure I belive that

Reply 11

ForKicks

Original post by Anonymous

This is where it gets tricky. He planned to sleep with her, to get revenge. And afterwards she said he forced himself on her but I'm not sure I belive that

Did this go to court?! Sounds like he may be building up to justify something :s-smilie:

Reply 12

BlueJoker

To be honest, and I'll probably get negged for this, I'd steer clear. It's such a messy situation, you can't possibly know the full context, thoughts and motives of either party, and to sleep with someone "for revenge" is weird and a little frightening. Sounds like a real slimeball to me.

Reply 13

Hylean

Original post by Anonymous

This is where it gets tricky. He planned to sleep with her, to get revenge. And afterwards she said he forced himself on her but I'm not sure I belive that

What, so he's actually served time for it?

Reply 14

undermyskin

Original post by popsiclee67

Did he say it was without her consent or are you assuming? if he was convicted then yeah, I can see the problem but if she consented then it's not a major issue unless, yeah, she's 13

It says under the age of consent not that she did not consent. But under law this is classed as statutory rape regardless of whether the girl consented or not.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by Hylean

What, so he's actually served time for it?

No, She didn't say this to the police she said it to other people, turned a lot of his friends against him

Reply 16

ForKicks

Original post by undermyskin

It says under the age of consent not that she did not consent. But under law this is classed as statutory rape regardless of whether the girl consented or not.

Indeed, and the penalties are pretty heavy too. OP wouldn't want to have her bf on the register and to have a crim record!

Reply 17

ForKicks

Original post by Anonymous

No, She didn't say this to the police she said it to other people, turned a lot of his friends against him

There is always the potential that he will be arrested in future. Besides all that though, why would you want to get involved with someone so..stupid?!

Reply 18

iainthegreat

Might be worth talking it through and finding out exactly what happened. We've all got our secrets, (although not everyone is a statutory rapist!) and the fact he's told you this means he must think a lot of you.

Reply 19

MovingOn

I think you're overreacting, would you be so freaked out if he had slept with a 20 year old when he was 24? Statutory rape only really applies to much older adults sleeping with young girls.