Overdue virgins: what do your parents think of your condition?

Sex is a huge motivation for a lot of what we do in life, whether you consciously realise it or not.

It seems I've touched a nerve... oh well. It's not a close-minded opinion, I had an open mind about it, but then I reached the correct logical conclusion. How can an opinion be closed minded anyway? That makes no sense. How I formulate my opinions is actually very open-minded.

Rejecting experiences for no reason is not what I'd describe as "living life to the full", particular one as significant to the human condition, and as pleasurable as sex. Also I fail to see how you are bettering yourself, if you've never had sex you're obviously not getting any better at that... that's only going to hold you back in life.

How can you live life having not experienced the one facet of unadulterated pleasure you are actually BORN with. It's common to all human beings and is referred to in almost all aspects of culture across all cultures. So yes, if everyone else is experiencing it and enjoying it, and you aren't, you are missing out. It's comparable to living a whole life without ever knowing what music sounds like, or the sunset looks like, or never seeing the sea.

It's like going through life listening to your friends talking about what happened on the Simpsons last night but having never watched a Simpsons episode in your life. Have you ever watched the Simpsons? Do you know anyone who hasn't?

Having nice friends and family is all very nice, but if you think that's all there is to life you're not really experiencing much of what life has to offer. Most people have nice friends and family, that's like entry level living.

You could die a virgin and have lived a life full of love and happiness, but is that hypothetical situation even close to realistic? Most virgins die sad and alone.

It seems I've touched a nerve... oh well. It's not a close-minded opinion, I had an open mind about it, but then I reached the correct logical conclusion. How can an opinion be closed minded anyway? That makes no sense. How I formulate my opinions is actually very open-minded.

Rejecting experiences for no reason is not what I'd describe as "living life to the full", particular one as significant to the human condition, and as pleasurable as sex. Also I fail to see how you are bettering yourself, if you've never had sex you're obviously not getting any better at that... that's only going to hold you back in life.

How can you live life having not experienced the one facet of unadulterated pleasure you are actually BORN with. It's common to all human beings and is referred to in almost all aspects of culture across all cultures. So yes, if everyone else is experiencing it and enjoying it, and you aren't, you are missing out. It's comparable to living a whole life without ever knowing what music sounds like, or the sunset looks like, or never seeing the sea.

It's like going through life listening to your friends talking about what happened on the Simpsons last night but having never watched a Simpsons episode in your life. Have you ever watched the Simpsons? Do you know anyone who hasn't?

Having nice friends and family is all very nice, but if you think that's all there is to life you're not really experiencing much of what life has to offer. Most people have nice friends and family, that's like entry level living.

You could die a virgin and have lived a life full of love and happiness, but is that hypothetical situation even close to realistic? Most virgins die sad and alone.

Have you ever considered that virgins might be happier if they weren't convinced by society that they are lesser people for not having sex?

Just because other people, no matter how large in number, deemed an activity important does not mean we should feel obliged to engage in it. These things are all subjective.

Not wanting to lose your virginity at an early age isn't 'rejecting an experience for no reason'. Most people who choose to stay virgins have very good reasons for doing so, and those reasons and what they signify are far more important than the act itself.

Just because other people experience something, it doesn't mean I'm missing out by not wanting to experience it at this point in my life. Other people want to go skydiving, it doesn't mean I'm missing out on anything if I don't. You're only missing out if you're not doing something that you want to be doing.

How exactly does not being good at sex equate to not bettering yourself?! Life should be about bettering yourself in meaningful ways, gaining knowledge, skills, practising your talents, expanding your intellectual horizons - not about prowess in bed.

Your life really can't be very fulfilling if you think sex is so important - you're obviously lacking in many aspects of life that are pretty damn important.

Awesome, also known as 'The Devil's 13some'.

Where did I say they are "lesser people"?

They are simply illogically choosing not to experience something pleasurable and sociable, those who think they are somehow better and more righteous for not having sex, which is ridiculous of course.

No one is saying you are obliged, simply that you don't understand enough about sex to know there's nothing intrinsically great about being a virgin.

Use it or lose it is the way I see it. No guts no glory. The longer you leave it the more risk you run of becoming increasingly unattractive and unable to find a mate. Most people aren't lucky enough to be like a fine wine and get better with age.

I don't understand your bizarre belief that there is no good reason not to have sex. Firstly, the sexual habits of individuals are, except in exceptional circumstances, the business of NO ONE else.

Secondly, asexual people do exist and are able to lead productive lives without actively having sex.

Not everyone is the same- some people just DON'T find sex interesting. You can deny it and rationalise it all you want- you have no jurisdiction to tell people that they are wrong for not wanting to have sex. Sex can be a fun and sociable activity, but it can also be very taxing and frustrating and for some people just plain boring.

(arguably from a Darwinian/Freudian perspective the only real objective of life - procreation). Also, if you've never had sex, how can you know what you are or aren't missing out on? Is it not you that is being closed-minded therefore?

Sex is a huge motivation for a lot of what we do in life, whether you consciously realise it or not.

All this talk of being a virgin because sex is not important, religion/society/family, being asexual, blah blah blah. What about those of us virgins who are just utterly hopeless at talking to the opposite sex? (I am one of these)

That would be a good reason, however no one as of yet has used this reason. Are you claiming that all those virgins are in fact asexual?

So your theory is that virgins are asexual? I find that pretty hard to believe.

How can people claim to find sex uninteresting if they have never even tried it? That's one huge flaw in your theory.

I would understand if someone found sex taxing, frustrating etc like you said, but we are talking about people who have never been open-minded enough to even try it.

Also if they find it taxing and frustrating it's possibly because they haven't practised enough, giving up on sex just because you didn't get into it the first time is defeatist, and no one can say that's a good attitude to have in life.

This is nothing to do with the thread, or even the argument you're having, but that is an incredibly inaccurate reading of Freud—he's probably turning in his grave as we speak.