Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner?

What's wrong with a bit of alone time? (No innuendo intended). You make it sound so bad.

Why do you feel marriage is the be all and end all? Is it because society tells you hat?

Same could apply to the married life!

No. What if I want to go to an exotic place and my partner doesn't? What if he doesn't like the places I want to go to? What if he's working?

What difference would it make? Surely it would reduce my freedom travelling, i.e. meeting new people?

**** "love". It's not the be all and end all.

What's difficult to understand is when people say that "life is all about love/family/relationships" and expect OTHERS to live their way of life.



Point in case. I fail to see the big deal with a family really.



Is it necessary for me to tell? Why should I make people judge my choice in life? I'm not interested in that.



Just curious as to why. It seems people are only choosing that because society tells them to.

Agree totally. Interesting to hear the replies but I think a lot of people here are a little immature as is pointed out above. I did well at school, used to think I'd grow up, be really successful etc. I did got into my chosen career and I work hard but you realise as you get older you're just a face and success is quite shallow: no one really cares about 'your career' because guess what ... they're too busy caring about their own and themselves just like you (ironic that people would probably see that were they not so me me me all the time).

The only people that will want to hear about it will, largely, be machiavellian scum bags in an office trying to kiss your arse to ride on your success just like you did to get where you got and as such they will have no real care, respect or even like for you. You'll still get told to **** off by random chavs, you'll still go home every night and moreover you'll wonder why you're throwing every hour god sends after money you'll have no time to spend.

Also agree with a previous post from NeonSkies: being alone all the time sounds like my idea of hell too. I'm single and have never been in love but give me a loving wife any day! People today are every bit as guilty of falsely romanticising careers as the people they criticise for falsely romanticising marriage/kids/love. Love and family are cornerstones of our society and when you give up on love, human fraternity and that unique warm affection in the name of a career, well, it all seems a shame to me.

I love alone time and I would hate to be completely surrounded by people all the time, but almost constantly being alone is not fun, not for me anyway.

I didn't say marriage was the final goal. I just feel like I want to get married some day/find someone who I love enough that I would stay with them for the rest of my life etc. I don't really care what society says to be honest. Wanting to get married can mean different things to different people.

It could.

Then you compromise. If you would rather go it alone then that is fine. I'd rather compromise and be with someone. Everyone is different.

Of course it is not the be all and end all but we are human afterall. Emotion is not something we can avoid as much as we would like to think it is possible to lead a life completely detached from our emotions.

And it seems some people choose to aspire to a perfect career because society tells them to

I see, I guess that's why you didn't reply to my questions. I don't know if you're worried that people can you at least say if it's a normal or well-known job or quite a rare or uncommon job?

I agree with you in that those saying family blah blah is the most important thing in life cannot understand that some people have different ideas about what is the most important thing in life / brings about the most happiness / is the most rewarding. But by the same token it is the most important thing to a lot of people and just because you don't consider it to be a big deal doesn't necessarily mean that others will align with your viewpoint. And so what if some people only think this way because society tells them to... if they convince themselves that it is the most rewarding thing in life... then that's obviously what they'll base their lives around.

In the end, people want to maximise their happiness / reward / satisfaction, whatever word you use to describe it. People will select the option they consider to maximise their happiness. Some people believe that a perfect career would give them the most happiness in hte long run. Some people believe that a perfect partner would give them the most happiness in the long run.

if you mean that she talks to much and don't want that... then she could always be mute ya know and use the mouth for so many other pleasures

Really? Does society really tell people to do that?



The latter. I'm not the type to be doing 9-5, working in an office to receive my pay slip.



Which is fair enough. But why do people think that they have the right to say that "single life is lonely and emotionless"? I.e. attacking someone else's choice of life?



Agreed. So why are people criticising what I want to do?

Give up career. Simples. That's a relatively straightforward question.

Really? Does society really tell people to do that?



The latter. I'm not the type to be doing 9-5, working in an office to receive my pay slip.



Which is fair enough. But why do people think that they have the right to say that "single life is lonely and emotionless"? I.e. attacking someone else's choice of life?



Agreed. So why are people criticising what I want to do?

People seem to be deluded by this romantic dream often dictated in televised media, hence this delusional belief that having a perfect partner predates success or even basic necessities I must say is laughable.

By observing this thread I have also noticed that people seem to associate 'perfect partner' with social life/emotions when these are completely detached. I've seen many bachelors who live life more vibrant than a married man could dream off.

Maybe it's just my belief that gender is only there for carnal necessities allowing me to speak so detached from popular opinion, or perhaps it is my genius as Oscar Wilde would say.

Nonetheless the greatest factor in obtaining these dissatisfying comments is probably due to your infamous character, as being the Oxbridge fangirl.

Most likely however I can't imagine a situation in a relationship were you need to stop pursuing a career for a partner.

People seem to be deluded by this romantic dream often dictated in televised media, hence this delusional belief that having a perfect partner predates success or even basic necessities I must say is laughable.

By observing this thread I have also noticed that people seem to associate 'perfect partner' with social life/emotions when these are completely detached. I've seen many bachelors who live life more vibrant than a married man could dream off.

Maybe it's just my belief that gender is only there for carnal necessities allowing me to speak so detached from popular opinion, or perhaps it is my genius as Oscar Wilde would say.

Nonetheless the greatest factor in obtaining these dissatisfying comments is probably due to your infamous character, as being the Oxbridge fangirl.

But why?

Well, firstly because I roughly know, right now, what my perfect career would involve. I know the forms and shapes it could take. Not to mention the fact that I have a greater chance of achieving my perfect career anyway, as opposed to finding my perfect partner.

Whereas I have no idea as to who my perfect partner is (what traits they have etc...). So suppose that this omniscient being, who proposed such a dilemma, could tap into my subconscious and draw out something that I have no clue about and create my perfect partner. I'd be compelled to pick the partner just because it holds an element of fantasy. I.e. I will probably never meet this person in reality. The difference between an average partner and a perfect partner would probably be larger than the difference between an average job and my perfect job. In the latter respect, it would be more difficult for me to judge where my average job finished and my perfect job started.

Another criterion you said is that you must sacrifice one for the other? Fine with that. I'd rather have no job than no partner. So even if I couldn't ever do medicine (another thing: since I'm not halfway through being a doctor, I wouldn't really know what I'm missing in the first place), I'd be content doing other things/hobbies. Like cooking. Or reading. Or writing. Or playing golf. So having no job is fine. Obviously money is still important but, hopefully, my perfect partner would be rich enough to provide for us both Whereas the idea of having no partner would, definitely, be a bad thing IMO. I'm not saying I'll be emotionless/a loner if I don't have a partner; I just feel that I need that connection.

Meh. People want different things.

Ideally everyone wants both. But when push comes to shove - what is more important?