The Student Room Group

I feel like I'm not getting the most out of life

I am 25 and I feel so frustrated because I just can't seem to get the life I want. I am getting their slowly but in my mind I envisage myself travelling the world (can't because of uni commitments and limited holidays), meeting lots of new people (can't get a job because of really antisocial uni hours, everyone seems to be stuck in their cliques when I do meet new people), get more confident (feel like I'm destined to be insecure and socially anxious forever) and I just generally want to read more books, watch more films, become a better conversationalist, learn to cook, learn a language, learn to dance, try new things like skiing and paragliding and abseiling etc, the list goes on. But for some reason I can't seem to fulfill these goals......and it gets me down :frown: Does anyone else feel this way?

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Reply 1
I'm a girl btw.
Reply 2
No-one ever manages to do those things, pick one and go for it
Reply 3
I feel this week frequently.It got so bad thar I once drank an entire bottle of bleach tbh, it messed me up but, I've come out of it stronger, cleaner more prepared for the future.
Reply 4
Original post by TreeSnake
I feel this week frequently.It got so bad thar I once drank an entire bottle of bleach tbh, it messed me up but, I've come out of it stronger, cleaner more prepared for the future.


You would have died before you finished it unless you called an ambulance, and if you did, what was the point?
(edited 13 years ago)
It's not being overambitious or anything by wanting to achieve many things and learn & propser but you have to be realistic and prioritise what you'd want to achieve most.

You sound like me though. I'd like to achieve more than I am atm, but find that instead of doing any of them, I do none. It's all about organising what you think's more important.

Some are easy to obtain more than others, like reading & watching more. Confidence will come in time and after the anti social hours of uni are up, you'll have more opportunity to find a decent job and meeting new people is a constant, regardless of where you are. Your enhanced interests in reading etc will lead to a better conversationalist, and you could do any of the activities if you save enough for the summer, or alternatively do those later on in life when you have a stable job. Good luck :biggrin:.
Reply 6
Original post by autodidact
You would have died before you finished it.


Luckily it was low volume 45p stuff from ALDI.One more litre though and I would have been dead.
Reply 7
Don't aim to do loads of things at the same time or in the future, pick something you can achieve now!

For example you can't go traveling due to uni commitments so don't worry about not being able to do it now. Set it in your mind as something you will do in the future.

However things like learning a language, learning to cook, reading more etc you could easily make happen!

Go to a book shop or if you are skint charity shops even have some decent books may take a bit of a hunt but there will be something, buy a cook book or search on the internet on cooking there is loads of info out there.

Join a club or society, hell my uni even has a sky diving club! There is bound to be something new for you to try, and they are an easy way to meet new people
Yeah I feel like this all the time. You have too many goals and unrealistic expectations about bow much you can do. Maybe you feel pressurized to make the most of life and just need to relax.
Reply 9
Original post by Guy Secretan
Yeah I feel like this all the time. You have too many goals and unrealistic expectations about bow much you can do. Maybe you feel pressurized to make the most of life and just need to relax.


I do feel pressurized but that's because I've already had a mediocre existence up until this point. School, uni, one long term (rubbish) relationship, few friends, few memorable events have happened to me. I want to turn my life around but not quite sure how. Every year I hope that things will improve and I will be leading that life I crave but it never happens. You're right I have way too many ambitions. Even when thinking about wanting to read more I have to divide it up into fiction, non-fiction, history, travel, food and drink etc. When thinking about travelling I have to list each country, capital, places of interest within etc. I get so overwhelmed by all that is out there and don't know when I am going to find the time to do it in!
Reply 10
Original post by TreeSnake
Luckily it was low volume 45p stuff from ALDI.One more litre though and I would have been dead.


Fair enough. Glad you're doing better now.
Reply 11
Original post by 11random
Don't aim to do loads of things at the same time or in the future, pick something you can achieve now!

For example you can't go traveling due to uni commitments so don't worry about not being able to do it now. Set it in your mind as something you will do in the future.

However things like learning a language, learning to cook, reading more etc you could easily make happen!

Go to a book shop or if you are skint charity shops even have some decent books may take a bit of a hunt but there will be something, buy a cook book or search on the internet on cooking there is loads of info out there.

Join a club or society, hell my uni even has a sky diving club! There is bound to be something new for you to try, and they are an easy way to meet new people


You're right, I should really start to prioritise. Hate the thought of growing old and dying without achieving all my goals! Imagine I write this thread 50 years down the line!
Reply 12
Anyway OP you should just for get it all, go hitchhiking around Europe or North America, Do ANYTHING. I hate this system where we work hard so we can work hard in the future so we can buy pointless crap. Whether or not it is a practical system is one thing, but my god it is ****.
Reply 13
Original post by autodidact
Anyway OP you should just for get it all, go hitchhiking around Europe or North America, Do ANYTHING. I hate this system where we work hard so we can work hard in the future so we can buy pointless crap. Whether or not it is a practical system is one thing, but my god it is ****.


Exactly! I hate the thought that I have to work, have a family, retire, have a holiday once a year, worry about bills etc. It's not for me!! I want to live a life of constant excitement and unpredictability, I wish I could win the lottery tbh, sorted!
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
Exactly! I hate the thought that I have to work, have a family, retire, have a holiday once a year, worry about bills etc. It's not for me!! I want to live a life of constant excitement and unpredictability, I wish I could win the lottery tbh, sorted!


Agreed

You don't have to, though, that's just conditioned into you. Life is what you make of it.
Reply 15
I feel like that often too... There are always going to be things in life that you want to do and some that you wont do because of things getting in the way. But perhaps start with the easier things that you can do by organising the time you have with uni and work etc... like reading and watching films. There's loads of stuff i want to do to... eps travelling one day i hope!!! around the world... would be amazing! :smile: Just think at least you have a job that pays, which can fund ur tavelling?? so much stuff ive not done, that i want to do... but everything just about time and money i guess.... hope this helps! :smile:
Reply 16
Original post by autodidact
Agreed

You don't have to, though, that's just conditioned into you. Life is what you make of it.


thank you :smile:
Original post by autodidact
Anyway OP you should just for get it all, go hitchhiking around Europe or North America, Do ANYTHING. I hate this system where we work hard so we can work hard in the future so we can buy pointless crap. Whether or not it is a practical system is one thing, but my god it is ****.


Careful with that dangerous propaganda, you may warp some young automatons irreversibly.
Reply 18
You have to plan these things, it's no good saying "I wish", you should be setting goals and saying "I will":
read x novel next week (3 chapters a day etc)
read y novel week 2
read z novel week 3
read zz novel week 4

Devote Monday eveings towards beginners language

Thursday evenings cook a fancy dish

etc..
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Fusion
You have to plan these things, it's no good saying "I wish", you should be setting goals and saying "I will":
read x novel next week (3 chapters a day etc)
read y novel week 2
read z novel week 3
read zz novel week 4

Devote Monday eveings towards beginners language

Thursday evenings cook a fancy dish

etc..


This is good advice, but also extremely tedious. You need to eat the novel, then wake up in a foreign land with no recollection of how you got there.

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